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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
My daughter was dropped off alone
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oliveoil




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 12 2019, 5:03 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
It’s common sense that the 9ne who is OBLIGATED, OBLIGATED (!) to be there early for any eventuality, is the parent! I understand your quite young and possibly op is too, and that’s why you both are shirking off a parent having more responsibility for their child than a negligent bus driver! What he did would be considered unprofessional, improper, etc., what the parent did is considered child neglect.


The youngest sounding person in this whole conversation is you.

I guess it's just immaturity.

I don't know how old you are, but black and white thinking is not the mark of a mature adult.

Maybe you need some more life experience.

And common sense.

Also a little compassion.

Gosh, compared to you, I feel like a saint. And everyone around knows my reputation.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 13 2019, 1:07 pm
oliveoil wrote:
The youngest sounding person in this whole conversation is you.

I guess it's just immaturity.

I don't know how old you are, but black and white thinking is not the mark of a mature adult.

Maybe you need some more life experience.

And common sense.

Also a little compassion.

Gosh, compared to you, I feel like a saint. And everyone around knows my reputation.


Agreed 100%, and that last line made me laugh out loud! LOL Sometimes I really love your bluntness. It's refreshing, in an astringent kind of way.


Royalblue, you are obviously very emotionally invested in this discussion. Something has triggered you deeply, and causing you to attack the OP repeatedly.

Would you care to share your experiences? Do you have abandonment issues?

Would you do that under your screen name, before you attack OP further?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jul 13 2019, 9:12 pm
Thanks to all who supported and showed me I wasn't crazy. My daughter didn't go to camp on Friday so I didn't have a chance to talk to the driver or monitor yet.

I will iyh be calling them first thing Monday morning and see where the misunderstanding happened.

To all who blamed me for having my baby dropped off on a deserted street when her bus was early, I wish you all the best. And I hope you never have such an experience. (That bracha actually goes out to everyone)

Love you all!
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sat, Jul 13 2019, 9:58 pm
Where I live I have been behind school buses and have seen very very young children get dropped off at their homes with no one waiting for them, not even at the doorway.
The kid simply walks into the house through the unlocked front door.
OP, do you normally wait inside or outside for your child? If the former maybe both the bus driver and your daughter thought you were home? And only after the bus pulled away did your daughter realize the door was locked and started to cry?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jul 13 2019, 10:30 pm
I always take her off the bus
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Sat, Jul 13 2019, 11:22 pm
My 4 year old son came off the bus a whole year by himself and walked into to the house. One time he even came home before me and just waited until I came home. He just went to play. I guess I'm lucky that he wasn't scared. I always leave my door unlocked just in case I'm not there my kids should be able to go inside.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Sun, Jul 14 2019, 12:11 am
amother [ Sapphire ] wrote:
My 4 year old son came off the bus a whole year by himself and walked into to the house. One time he even came home before me and just waited until I came home. He just went to play. I guess I'm lucky that he wasn't scared. I always leave my door unlocked just in case I'm not there my kids should be able to go inside.


I'm very happy for you that nothing happened, but this is not a safe situation. If the door is unlocked, anyone could wait inside for your child. And a four year old is way too little to be alone, even for a short time.

We all mess up sometimes, but don't set up an unsafe situation.
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WitchKitty




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jul 14 2019, 1:21 am
OP, I can't even imagine how horrifying it was for you to find her alone.

When I was 6 years old my baby brother was hospitalized for months (AVSD). One day, exhausted after trying to take care of 4 kids at home and one sick one, my father fell asleep on the couch waiting for me to come home from school with my sister.
When the bus came and he didn't come out or answer the door they called the number on file, he was sleeping deeply, so they knocked at the neighbors who were written down ON FILE for exactly these eventualities. (No cellphones, remember)
We were at the neighbors for 15 minutes before my father came, people we knew and trusted.
In short, everything was B"h done as it should have been.
And? And I was 6 years old then and I still remember the fear. Although I played nicely with the neighbor's kid, and my sister was there, I was terrified. I hadn't seen my parents since the morning, I missed them, I didn't know why they weren't home or what happened or when I was ever going to go home.
I can't IMAGINE leaving a little girl ALONE! There are cell phones these days,CALL! There are dangerous people in the street and this 3 year old was left not knowing what is even going on? Poor kid!!!

I don't care if OP was to blame or not. NOBODY should leave a 3 year old on a street alone. EVER.
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Sun, Jul 14 2019, 2:04 am
I cant believe this is legal.
A 3 yr old is a baby. She could easily walk into oncoming traffic.
This is in no way the Op's fault. Even if she were an hour late for pick up, there is absolutely no excuse for abandoning a three year old (!!!!) in the street.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:00 pm
Sooo....
I went to the daycamp today and spoke with the bus monitor and director.

The director was appalled and apologized. The bus monitor said she wasn't the only one to be dropped off alone. They had a substitute driver who was stressed and yelling the entire time. When he got to my stop and I wasn't there he asked my daughter if she can go down alone, and being a mature 3 year old of course she said yes.
The bus monitor didn't know how old she is and since she said yes she believed her Surprised and allowed her to go off the bus.
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sooo....
I went to the daycamp today and spoke with the bus monitor and director.

The director was appalled and apologized. The bus monitor said she wasn't the only one to be dropped off alone. They had a substitute driver who was stressed and yelling the entire time. When he got to my stop and I wasn't there he asked my daughter if she can go down alone, and being a mature 3 year old of course she said yes.
The bus monitor didn't know how old she is and since she said yes she believed her Surprised and allowed her to go off the bus.


What on Earth? And if she was five it would be ok?
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my mama




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:08 pm
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
What on Earth? And if she was five it would be ok?


I can see how a five year old would be able to get into her house on her own. But I agree with you. Crazy
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amother
Beige


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:11 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sooo....
I went to the daycamp today and spoke with the bus monitor and director.

The director was appalled and apologized. The bus monitor said she wasn't the only one to be dropped off alone. They had a substitute driver who was stressed and yelling the entire time. When he got to my stop and I wasn't there he asked my daughter if she can go down alone, and being a mature 3 year old of course she said yes.
The bus monitor didn't know how old she is and since she said yes she believed her Surprised and allowed her to go off the bus.


This sounds really terribly disorganized.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:27 pm
Even if a child can get into the house alone they should have waited and made sure she got in and that someone was home! Allowing her off the bus alone was only half the problem.
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Laiya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 5:33 pm
amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:
Even if a child can get into the house alone they should have waited and made sure she got in and that someone was home! Allowing her off the bus alone was only half the problem.


Yes, you stop and wait until the child walks inside the door and an adult arm waves out. But before that, the first part of the problem is the bus driver stressed and yelling the entire time. That's not a safe situation.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 6:10 pm
This scenario was kind of what I figured, a substitute bus driver who was unfamiliar with routine and protocol. And I bet the bus monitor is a teenager.
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amother
Purple


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 6:30 pm
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
This scenario was kind of what I figured, a substitute bus driver who was unfamiliar with routine and protocol. And I bet the bus monitor is a teenager.


There is always that possibility- which is why the Mom needs to be out and waiting for her child as early as possible
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 6:34 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sooo....
I went to the daycamp today and spoke with the bus monitor and director.

The director was appalled and apologized. The bus monitor said she wasn't the only one to be dropped off alone. They had a substitute driver who was stressed and yelling the entire time. When he got to my stop and I wasn't there he asked my daughter if she can go down alone, and being a mature 3 year old of course she said yes.
The bus monitor didn't know how old she is and since she said yes she believed her Surprised and allowed her to go off the bus.


More kids were dropped off alone? What the Surprised Surprised Surprised ?

When asked if she could "go alone" she probably thought they were asking her if she could go down the steps by herself. Not to take care of herself for the rest of the afternoon!

At the very least, the driver should have waited until he saw her go into the house. The VERY least.

And what is this so called monitor getting paid to do? Take notes?

And a minor complaint, if my child had a great day at camp, and was excited to come home and tell me all about it, she would have her day ruined if a bus driver was screaming and yelling all the way home. She's pretty sensitive about things like that.

There is so much "not OK" about this on so many levels. What is the director going to do to make sure that this doesn't ever happen to anyone ever again?
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 6:36 pm
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
This scenario was kind of what I figured, a substitute bus driver who was unfamiliar with routine and protocol. And I bet the bus monitor is a teenager.

I have never met a bus driver, even a substitute one, who is unfamiliar with protocol. Route and routine perhaps, but protocol? Never. They all know what they can and can’t do, what they will lose their job over, etc.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Mon, Jul 15 2019, 6:36 pm
Amother sapphire, your post is very disturbing. You leave your door unlocked? You let a 4 year old go home by himself without you being home?? You let a 4 year old be home alone in an unlocked house?? There are so many what if's running through my head now. What if there's an intruder in the house? What if your child decides to walk off? What if something happens to your child in the house....... why does he get let off the bus alone?
Respectfully, are you INSANE???????? To knowingly and willingly put your kids in danger?????
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