4.5 year old nervous to sleep alone

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 10:26 pm

She slept with her younger sister until about 3 months ago, I had to seperate them when the baby learned to climb out. She needed to be in a toddler bed because I was scared of the big jump and the 2 of them both in beds lead to no sleep! Ever since I seperated them my older one gets so nervous and she cries and comes out and goes into DH bed in mid of the night etc.. until I seperated them, bedtime was strict and quick. Somehow the sobbing etc it just makes it so difficult. Calming her down and tending to her and trying to be patient.. im at my end wit..any advice?

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 10:33 pm

I should add- my younger one goes to sleep with her door locked and lights out. She recently gave up her nap and she needs the sleep desperately. Older one will not handle the door locked esp if she needs the bathroom and she sleeps with a lamp. She goes in later and wakes up earlier .. I really cant see it being in their bests interets to be together

amother

Sun, Jul 14 2019, 10:45 pm

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

I don't get it, how did a toddler get out of the house? Isn't your front door locked?? Make sure your front door is bolted and don't put a baby to sleep behind a locked door.

Ok im feeling the judgement big time. Not here to discuss this with you at all. Was looking for advice on my older one. Thank you for your concern!!

notshanarishona

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 10:18 am

amother [ Papaya ] wrote:

I don't get it, how did a toddler get out of the house? Isn't your front door locked?? Make sure your front door is bolted and don't put a baby to sleep behind a locked door.

I still have memories of my 3 year brother climbing onto a chair to get my mom's purse off the shelf and taking her keys and letting himself out of the house and into the car. Some kids are just monkeys and can get into anything no matter how much you try to child proof.

amother

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 11:56 am

notshanarishona wrote:

Ty for making me feel less crazy. As is I had abnormal trauma afterwards thinking of all the people who could have found her, bh hashem sent a frum man from my block. Had it been anyone else, CPS would have been at my door an hour later ...

amother

Ginger

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 1:50 pm

I've just separated my almost 4yo and my toddler bc toddler now climbs out her cot and they both end up messing around and hyper, whilst if they're apart, they settle more calmly. big dc has occasionally complained about how she's lonely but she likes feeling big in her own room-we got her special curtains and a lampshade and so far so good! she also likes being able to look out her window bc it's now by her bed.
I want to put a stairgate on toddler's room so she doesn't get out.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jul 15 2019, 4:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

OP, no judgement here. Unless a parent has had to deal with a Houdini baby, they can't understand.

My brother was a master at getting out of the house when he was 2 years old. He could climb out of his crib, drag a dining room chair across a hard wood floor (very quietly!), and then climb up to open the deadbolt at the very top of the door. Then he would move the chair back, and veeeeeerrrrry slowly open the front door, so that the brass bells handing on the door wouldn't ring.

One morning, mom found him out in the yard, playing on the swing, totally naked! Surprised

Lucky for her, they had a solid fence out front, and the neighbors couldn't see into the yard.

My brother was like DD when it came to baby latches. My mom and I both made the mistake of letting the little one watch while the latches were being installed. They latches were completely mastered an hour later. It took them longer to put in, then it did to defeat them!

Do take the lock off of the little one's door. It's a severe fire hazard, and even an extra minute could make a difference (CVS).

Just keep telling the older one how great her room is going to be, and let her pick out colors and patterns for bedding. She needs to feel like it's her "nest".