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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
WastingTime
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 2:39 pm
This is a ridiculous question considering it's my 6th but I never experience anything like this before so thought I'd throw it out there.
2 of my kids were fighting right next to me on the couch. Baby was on my lap. One went to attack the other, think angry face, yelling, hand open to hit, and as he came close to the other one the baby let out this crazy scream, twice. ( It happened too fast that I couldn't move before )I have never heard such a thing come out of a baby's mouth.
She is 7 months old.
Can that affect her?
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amother
Floralwhite
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 2:45 pm
YES! I have a huge fear of needles. And my parents believe it’s from being in NICU for afew weeks. They stuck me with so many iv and needles my arms and legs still have tiny round white scars from the pokes. 32 YEARS LATER!!! at one point they ran out of space on my tiny body they shaved my head and used space there.
Now I give my children lots of support after needles n shots
ETA-when my mom saw me crying during one blood draw she asked why there’s no soothing techniques. The response? Babies can’t feel pain. Well.....she certainly was wrong! Babies feel pain!
Anyway, I left the nicu much earlier than most babies less sicker than me and the nurses attributed it to my mom being there EVERY day and holding me(or at least when it was safe) talking / singing to me, and caressing my arms. So definitely babies can be affected by their experiences
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Chayalle
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 2:46 pm
I think trauma depends alot on the how long the traumatic incident went on. So if that type of scary fighting would take place alot of times, and for a long time, it would be more traumatic and more concerning.
ETA when one of my kids was a baby, a SIL came to visit with her young children, and before anyone could stop him as it was totally unexpected, her toddler son slapped my newborn DD across the face.
(she screamed like crazy, I calmed her down, fed her, and she was back to herself).
I don't see any lasting trauma in her today. It's a family funny story that everyone jokes about. My nephew, today, is grown up and married, and a really gentle guy.
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amother
Coral
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 2:53 pm
An empathetic response, calm soothing with an attuned caregiver/parent, can mitigate the effects of the trauma. How you respond and support the baby in the aftermath of when something scary or traumatic happens to her, can have a huge impact on whether the event will traumatized her or not.
And yes, baby's nervous systems are susceptible to trauma, definitely
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Amarante
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 3:23 pm
Yes of course babies can experience trauma even though "memories" aren't specifically recoverable before a certain age.
I don't think the kind of experience your baby experienced is that kind for which there is trauma that lasts because it was momentary, fleeting and out of the ordinary in terms of your baby feeling secure 99.9% of the time.
But definitely babies who are s-xually abused over a period of time; beaten; completely neglected suffer emotional wounds. There is the whole "failure to thrive" syndrome which is when babies simply don't grow properly when they lack significant warm human contact.
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amother
Wine
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 4:09 pm
It certainly can happen, although the cases in which it's been studied are very extreme and sustained over time (such as the Romanian orphanages). A one time incident is extremely unlikely to cause any lasting damage. Even the poster who mentioned being in the Nicu with the needles--that was over the course of weeks/months, I doubt a baby who spent a few days in the Nicu would have the same imprint (happens to be, one of mine was a preemie and spent about two weeks in the Nicu. He was a very clingy baby, and I wondered sometimes if it had to do with his rough start in life; then again, being premature probably made him a bit delayed, and maybe more sensory and that's why he had a hard time. Who knows. He mostly outgrew the clinginess as a toddler, when he caught up developmentally.
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ectomorph
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 4:10 pm
Yes. One of my children needed q lot of medical interventions. To this day this child is afraid of doctors. My others love the doctor's office. To be fair , this child gets blood drawn and other unpleasant experiences my other's don't.
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ra_mom
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 7:53 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote: | An empathetic response, calm soothing with an attuned caregiver/parent, can mitigate the effects of the trauma. How you respond and support the baby in the aftermath of when something scary or traumatic happens to her, can have a huge impact on whether the event will traumatized her or not.
And yes, baby's nervous systems are susceptible to trauma, definitely |
This. Trauma is not about the event. It's about being left to handle it all alone and can't move past it.
You can't and shouldn't protect a child from everything. But you can help them experience events by nurturing them so they learn that they can handle it and that there is support out to in the world for them.
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amother
Orange
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 9:07 pm
I think yes. One of my babies was in the NICU for about 5 weeks, she had multiple surgeries, and she was poked and prodded and had IVs all over till they used up the veins on her hands and feet and shaved her head to use the veins there.
She is still a baby but by any follow up visit, or visit to the pediatrician, she shrieks by the doctor, none of my kids every screamed from a smiley doctor, but she doesn't shut her mouth till we leave, and that's with me holding her and trying to soothe her the whole entire time.
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Tzutzie
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 10:22 pm
Absolutely.
My friends baby was a normal developing baby with a very fixable but pretty significant orthopedic issue.
The doctor operated, then when she was awake, the gave her a muscle relaxant and put her thru an MRI MACHINE!!!
Turns out, the surgery was a failure. And so they cut open her cast while this child SCREAMED bloody murder. Through overwhelmed mother, felt lost and noone listened to her she started crying. So the social worker didn't let her take her baby home till late at night. cuz she's upset and depressed and that's why she's crying and she might hurt the baby.... (Um no)
There were some other stuff too....
That happened 4 years ago. This child was a normal developing baby who made eyes contact and babbled and responded to her surroundings, very age appropriate.
After that she has stopped communicating.
Stopped eating. (Was a poor eater before too. But was gaining. Steadily) is dependent on a feeding tube. This child is 4 now. Never restarted babling. And this child is still nonverbal. Non mobile....
A shrek.
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Einikel
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Mon, Jul 15 2019, 10:23 pm
Tzutzie wrote: | Absolutely.
My friends baby was a normal developing baby with a very fixable but pretty significant orthopedic issue.
The doctor operated, then when she was awake, the gave her a muscle relaxant and put her thru an MRI MACHINE!!!
Turns out, the surgery was a failure. And so they cut open her cast while this child SCREAMED bloody murder. Through overwhelmed mother, felt lost and noone listened to her she started crying. So the social worker didn't let her take her baby home till late at night. cuz she's upset and depressed and that's why she's crying and she might hurt the baby.... (Um no)
There were some other stuff too....
That happened 4 years ago. This child was a normal developing baby who made eyes contact and babbled and responded to her surroundings, very age appropriate.
After that she has stopped communicating.
Stopped eating. (Was a poor eater before too. But was gaining. Steadily) is dependent on a feeding tube. This child is 4 now. Never restarted babling. And this child is still nonverbal. Non mobile....
A shrek. |
That’s awful!!!
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WastingTime
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Tue, Jul 16 2019, 3:14 am
Thanks for the replies. I agree a one-off couldn't possibly cause real trauma but it was a bit scary to hear her scream like that.
Also I wish I was more attentive to her right after, I think I was too busy yelling at my kids for fighting.
Hard to feel like you want to protect your baby but you can't always control what happens
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WastingTime
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Tue, Jul 16 2019, 3:15 am
Tzutzie wrote: | Absolutely.
My friends baby was a normal developing baby with a very fixable but pretty significant orthopedic issue.
The doctor operated, then when she was awake, the gave her a muscle relaxant and put her thru an MRI MACHINE!!!
Turns out, the surgery was a failure. And so they cut open her cast while this child SCREAMED bloody murder. Through overwhelmed mother, felt lost and noone listened to her she started crying. So the social worker didn't let her take her baby home till late at night. cuz she's upset and depressed and that's why she's crying and she might hurt the baby.... (Um no)
There were some other stuff too....
That happened 4 years ago. This child was a normal developing baby who made eyes contact and babbled and responded to her surroundings, very age appropriate.
After that she has stopped communicating.
Stopped eating. (Was a poor eater before too. But was gaining. Steadily) is dependent on a feeding tube. This child is 4 now. Never restarted babling. And this child is still nonverbal. Non mobile....
A shrek. |
That's horrifying!!
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DVOM
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Tue, Jul 16 2019, 5:21 am
According to the research I've read, babys can experience trauma. An interesting book is 'the primal wound' about the the emotional trauma of adoption on newborns. Fascinating.
My oldest was in the NICU for a while. I read that NICU babys respond to the trauma of being separated from their mothers and being denied touch/immidate, responsive comforting by becoming withdrawn and passive, a learned helplessness. Later in life they may need help learning to assert their needs effectively. I'm sure not every NICU baby follows this pattern, but I have seen the pattern hold true for lots of kids who for whatever reason we're denied healthy attachment in infancy.
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gingertop
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Tue, Jul 16 2019, 6:04 am
Tzutzie wrote: | Absolutely.
My friends baby was a normal developing baby with a very fixable but pretty significant orthopedic issue.
The doctor operated, then when she was awake, the gave her a muscle relaxant and put her thru an MRI MACHINE!!!
Turns out, the surgery was a failure. And so they cut open her cast while this child SCREAMED bloody murder. Through overwhelmed mother, felt lost and noone listened to her she started crying. So the social worker didn't let her take her baby home till late at night. cuz she's upset and depressed and that's why she's crying and she might hurt the baby.... (Um no)
There were some other stuff too....
That happened 4 years ago. This child was a normal developing baby who made eyes contact and babbled and responded to her surroundings, very age appropriate.
After that she has stopped communicating.
Stopped eating. (Was a poor eater before too. But was gaining. Steadily) is dependent on a feeding tube. This child is 4 now. Never restarted babling. And this child is still nonverbal. Non mobile....
A shrek. |
Horrible. I didn't know this is still done.
Until fairly recently (1985 IIRC), infants got surgery without anesthesia because doctors thought they can't experience pain (how could they think that??) and anesthesia was considered unsafe. There are a lot of post-traumatic incidents related to the infants who survived. Unfortunately, many died from the pain itself.
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amother
Ruby
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Tue, Jul 16 2019, 11:05 am
I thought this thread would be about Brit Mila. B"H I don't think my son has trauma from that.
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amother
Wheat
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Tue, Sep 10 2019, 9:11 pm
The actual birth of any child is the biggest trauma they will ever experience.
Just think of what just happened -
Everything had was lost in 1 second.
There are various ideas behind this - mainly, it being the event that instills fear to the human.
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MiracleMama
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Tue, Sep 10 2019, 9:25 pm
Sure. Birth itself is a trauma.
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amother
Hotpink
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Wed, Sep 11 2019, 3:51 am
Absolutely!
There are even studies showing trauma symptoms in babies still in utero! (Due to maternal stressors)
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