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What helps you look fwd to your kids in the morning?



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thegiver




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 16 2019, 9:54 pm
Esp if u r with them all day....

I try so hard to wake up before them but one of them is a light sleeper and wakes up as soon as I do.

For instance it annoys me when I am daavening and my kids talk to me or follow me. I even started using the word annoying which I find to be really hurtful when they whine or cry in the morning—guess why—bec Im not looking fwd to being around them Sad((

It’s a cycle that needs to be stopped ASAP.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Tue, Jul 16 2019, 9:58 pm
What time do they go to bed? I try to carve out enough time in the evening to be able to recuperate fully. Otherwise, I am a nutcase in the morning.
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SingALong




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:20 pm
My oldest is 15 and in all my years of motherhood I have never been able to Daven properly when kids are around. Either I do with constant interruptions or wait till everyone’s off to school and I can Daven properly alone.

I do take some down time for myself each evening to relax, talk on the phone, read, bath, etc to help recharge me for the morning bedlam
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champagne




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:31 pm
What helps me get up for my son every morning (just one little guy) is the fact that I brought him into this world and he’s my responsibility.
In fact I get up way more easily than I did before I had children—because I’m responsible to take care of my child.
If my kids needed my attention in the morning, then I wouldn’t make davening the whole shacharis at the right time with kavanah my priority. Women are exempt from keeping zmanim because we’re responsible for little neshamos. At least that’s what I always learned.
Of course I’m not at the bunch of kids stage yet and I am sure it’s a real challenge—definitely harder than taking care of one toddler! Just my personal perspective on the matter. Hope it’s helpful.
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amother
Lemon


 

Post Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:38 pm
I don't look forward to them in the morning. I'm not a morning person, nothing I can do about it. They get my best self in the evening. Evenings are the calm, enjoyable time around here.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:21 am
Greet them with a huge smile to put them in a good mood!
"I'm so happy to see you, I didn't see you the whole night!!"(wishful thinking! LOL )
Prepare breakfast before starting to daven, you'll gain a few minutes of quiet time!
The more you prepare at night the more attention you'll have to give your kids and you won't feel as stressed!! (Clean up before you go to bed, prepare their clothes....)
Parenting is hard, you always have to find new strategies for the issues that come up! What worked last week might not work this week anymore!!
Hatzlacha!
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Rutabaga




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:52 am
I am far better able to handle mornings if I had a good night's sleep. I can be really grumpy when I'm tired although I try very hard not to take it out on my family.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 1:16 am
Coffee. Very Happy lots of coffee. LOL
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 1:31 am
The highlight of my morning is walking in and seeing a sweet fat face smiling at me from inside the crib, or my older kids racing down the hallway and jumping into my arms. I dunno, I've never dreaded seeing my kids in the morning.
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amother
Red


 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 2:12 am
You say you're with them all day. For some it's a dream they can never have and for some it's what they have and don't want.
Get a full time job.
You'll realize you'll be thankful for the time you have with your kids and you'll appreciate them more.
I don't see any benefits for your kids to have a housewife as a mom who doesn't want to spend time with them. They'll probably be better off with a loving babysitter or daycare while you spend time with adults who will probably also annoy you but at least they're not your kids.

Besides, davening while your kids need you doesn't make you a zadekes. You're a mom. If your kids need you, you don't have to daven on time. You can daven when they take a nap or not daven at all like many many women did because they out their kids first.
Ask yourself what your priorities are and if you want your kids to resent davening later on.
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 3:27 am
Are you a morning person or a night person? I don't mind being with my kids in the morning, but by about 7 or 8 at night I don't want to see anyone anymore. And I have a teen who comes alive at night. She is busy during the day, and 8/9pm is the time she wants to chat and tell me everything. It's really challenging.
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Lesia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:22 am
amother [ Red ] wrote:
You say you're with them all day. For some it's a dream they can never have and for some it's what they have and don't want.
Get a full time job.
You'll realize you'll be thankful for the time you have with your kids and you'll appreciate them more.
I don't see any benefits for your kids to have a housewife as a mom who doesn't want to spend time with them. They'll probably be better off with a loving babysitter or daycare while you spend time with adults who will probably also annoy you but at least they're not your kids.

Besides, davening while your kids need you doesn't make you a zadekes. You're a mom. If your kids need you, you don't have to daven on time. You can daven when they take a nap or not daven at all like many many women did because they out their kids first.
Ask yourself what your priorities are and if you want your kids to resent davening later on.

Reiterating this, on both points, and especially the second one.
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:38 am
I heard once that kids should see their mothers davening, as they prepare lunches, serve breakfast, etc. In other words the chinuch is not sitting nicely and davening from a siddur. But the words of tefila on their lips as they take care of their family, the first priority.
If you said, I don't even have time for my own breakfast and so I don't have energy, the suggestions would be different. Get up earlier and eat. Let kids know you are eating with them. Prepare food to grab for the car.
Since your main concern is davening, with all respect and admiration from someone who doesn't do it daily, please know that davening should really not be on the list of priorities if it's coming at the expense of your children's emotional wellbeing.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:17 am
I'm always thrilled to see my kids in the morning, and I dont get a lot of sleep or time to myself. I think they look awfully cute bouncing around in their pajamas.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:20 am
8 hours of sleep and good coffee in the morning.
(I agree about perhaps looking for a job.)
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 7:37 am
amother [ Red ] wrote:
You say you're with them all day. For some it's a dream they can never have and for some it's what they have and don't want.
Get a full time job.
You'll realize you'll be thankful for the time you have with your kids and you'll appreciate them more.
I don't see any benefits for your kids to have a housewife as a mom who doesn't want to spend time with them. They'll probably be better off with a loving babysitter or daycare while you spend time with adults who will probably also annoy you but at least they're not your kids.

Besides, davening while your kids need you doesn't make you a zadekes. You're a mom. If your kids need you, you don't have to daven on time. You can daven when they take a nap or not daven at all like many many women did because they out their kids first.
Ask yourself what your priorities are and if you want your kids to resent davening later on.


Um, maybe she has seasonal work.
Maybe she works from home.
I guess I better go back and reread the OP and see what I missed.

OP, it's summer. Be kind to yourself. Focus on creating happy family memories, and they don't have to be big ones, and they don't all have to be documented. It's more the vibe they'll remember years later.
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naomi2




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:37 am
Stop davening!
The way you are doing it so that your children are "annoying you" is not right.
Your kids are your first priority. If there a way you can sing davening along with your children while you prep in the morning then do it,, otherwise wait till they go to camp or nap.
As far as your children irritating you, are you overwhelmed with childcare, or depressed?
Maybe being a sahm is not a good fit for you. Would you enjoy a career or maybe a part time job? Some people just dont find childcare fulfilling and that's fine. What's not fine is feeling irritated but not making changes to fix that.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 17 2019, 8:56 am
OP, let me ask you: is this the summer or are you a SAHM all year? If the latter, kol hakavod. I assume you and your husband made a decision that you felt is good for your family. Even if the decision is one of, there's not much I can have left after paying sitters so I'm staying home for a few years, you want to maximize the situation and be as good as you can be at this. So here are thoughts:
- It sounds like you need some "me" time. You might not be able to have the house to yourself, but maybe you can have you to yourself. Maybe an evening walk twice a week. Or once or twice a month taking the kids to the babysitter so you can get some house to yourself time/errands done/go to a shiur, etc. that looks interesting.
- You might want to consider working part time. Most schools are desperate for subs. Preschool assisting is usually not-demanding and actually fun. You can put yourself on a list with the clear understanding that you don't have to say yes. You will of course (like my first suggestion) need to find a babysitter who accepts drop ins.
- Ditto to what everyone's said about davening. As someone who spent decades doing a condensed davening (and some days not getting a formal tefilla) I can reassure you that you will get back into the groove when the opportunity again presents itself. You will have more than enough practice with informal tefilla and what you do manage to say. "Va'ani tefilasi" is so true at this stage in life.
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