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amother
OP
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 Thu, Jul 18 2019, 12:44 pm
I grew up in a disciplined home. There were rules, there were cheshbonos, there was a lack of impulsivness...
I married the polar opposite. My inlaws arent careful about finances, closets are huge messes of clothes that should have been given away 15 years ago and there is a spontaneous attitude toward everything. This was obviously a huge learning curve in the beginning of my marriage but ive come to accept them and love them for their easy and generous nature however I still find myself very judgemental of their lack of awareness regarding the reckless spending among other things... can anyone relate?
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amother
Bisque
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 12:46 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | I grew up in a disciplined home. There were rules, there were cheshbonos, there was a lack of impulsivness...
I married the polar opposite. My inlaws arent careful about finances, closets are huge messes of clothes that should have been given away 15 years ago and there is a spontaneous attitude toward everything. This was obviously a huge learning curve in the beginning of my marriage but ive come to accept them and love them for their easy and generous nature however I still find myself very judgemental of their lack of awareness regarding the reckless spending among other things... can anyone relate? |
Are you sure they are unaware that other people handle money differently ("better")?
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 12:51 pm
| amother [ Bisque ] wrote: | | Are you sure they are unaware that other people handle mioney differently ("better")? |
They are aware but they were in chinuch all their lives and chose to live freely without worries. They are blessed that all of their children are professionals (notice the pattern)
And it doesnt bother them at all to come onto them...
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amother
Aubergine
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 12:51 pm
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Are you verbally critical or just judgemental in your head? Unfortunately I have a tendency to be a very critical person, though I do keep it all in my thoughts. This includes being critical of my in laws, who sound similar to yours. You don't say how long you're married but it took me quite a number of years to stop feeling irritated at almost everything they did. As a good rule for myself I try to catch myself every time I have a critical thought and make myself come up with a positive thought about that person. Kind of to counteract it.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jul 18 2019, 12:56 pm
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Im married 6 years. I used to tell DH everything that bothered me. He is typical mr fix it and he'd tell his mom (who is soooo not judgemental) and I realized that's the way they are and saying things doesnt change them so I just keep my mouth shut now ...
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