Why do I get frustrated when toddler wont eat?

amother

Orchid

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:27 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

Absolutely no bottles or snacks between meals. If he's hungry, really hungry, he'll eat. If he chooses not to eat his meal, let him know he missed his opportunity to eat. He will get the message incredibly quickly. You should never beg or force a child to eat. Hatzlacha!

That's abusive.

ectomorph

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:40 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

That's abusive.

Not only that, it can cause malnutrition if the child has a physical reason for not having an appetite, like anemia.

One of my children was like this.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:51 pm

Why on earth are people giving a 3yo a bottle? By 18 months they should be able to sit at the table and drink from a normal cup like everyone else. OK, if your kid is having trouble behaving nicely with a cup, at least use a sippy cup. They're going to have to learn not to dump it out on the floor eventually.

My mom used to fuss about what I ate when I was a toddler, and her doctor told her to quit focusing on individual meals. He said to look at what I eat TOTAL in the course of a week. Most kids will automatically get what they need, if given enough time and options.

Have a snack drawer ready in the fridge, with precut fruits, veggies, and squares of cheese. Hard boiled eggs are good, too. If anyone is tantruming between meals, give them a slice of apple or carrot.

ectomorph

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:53 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I give my 3 yo a bottle because in the grand scheme of this child's feeding issues, a bottle is a lot better than a feeding tube.

This child went from 19 to 17 lbs when I took a firm tack. Not every child will eat if hungry or thirsty. Some will just waste away.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:59 pm

ectomorph wrote:

I am very sorry about your child's feeding issues, and I wish your child only the very best of health.

I was speaking generally, about well and able children who are developing at age appropriate milestones. I'm pretty sure that a feeding tube was not what most of the posters here were thinking about when they said their child was a picky eater, but your point is taken.

ectomorph

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 7:05 pm

My point is that there are many reasons a 3 yo might be drinking bottles.

I do suggest a feeding evaluation and ruling out physical causes before doing any form of harsh discipline regarding eating. It can seriously backfire.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 8:03 pm

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

I give in to my 15 month old and give her a bottle (really diluted milk). she doesn't eat anythign I offer and then she cries non stop and wouldn't' go down to play and only be held. I just give her the bottle cuz I feel like I'll snap. what else would you suggest I do?

amother

Lavender

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 8:13 pm

My uncle who was a paediatrician used to say humans are born with the natural instinct to eat when they are hungry. Just leave healthy food on their level and leave them alone.
I find it's true because newborns cry when they're hungry and eat whatever you give them. Once they grow a little older and we start negotiating and pleading with them, they realize that eating is like they're doing us a favour and that's when all the games and manipulation start.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 8:15 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

And this is extremely cultural as well. There are plenty of (first world) countries where they don't have a concept of healthy kids not eating normal meals. It's an extension of American parenting in general.

ectomorph

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 8:56 pm

amother [ Lavender ] wrote:

True. Which is why, if a child is not eating a normal amount of food, it means something may be wrong.

It could be something simple, like anemia, which results in poor appetite and is easy to fix. It could be the child aspirates while swallowing solids and has learned to avoid them.

However, if you see after 3 days, let's say, that a hungry or thirsty child is not eating or drinking , don't let your child waste away. Give them what they'll eat in the form they want it until you rule out medical or developmental causes.

Sorry for the soap box... I struggle with this for years already and it hits close to home.

bestwife4

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 10:49 pm

My 2 1/2 year old just started eating solids. He's depended on pediasure bottles which he gets all his nutrition. He had a history of reflux which is why he doesn't like food. I used to worry all day about him. I used to get so frustrated. It didn't help me. Until I stopped worrying. I know by now he understands what food it's and what's good. He knows lollies and ice cream are treats. When he was a baby, he didn't understand that pizza is better than chicken for most kids. By him everything was bad. So I'm not worried anymore. If he wants to eat, then great. If he wants to starve, then it's okay. Kids eat when there hungry.
It's super hard to see kids not eating. I get it. I'm going thru this with a almost 3 year old kid drinking bottles! Life is hard. Hang in there.