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Great comebacks you thought of too late
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 25 2019, 11:05 pm
I'm never good with comebacks but I'm surrounded by people who pride themselves...

My brother worked at a mechanic. The place was owned by a frum man but the mechanics were not Jews so my brother was the odd man out. First day on the job one of his colleagues calls to my brother "hey Jewboy, get me a wrench" to which my brother replied "that's Mr. Jewboy to you." He was never disrespected again.

My husband was listed as a shidduch reference for the daughter of family friends. The family in question is chassidish but we are JPF. The questions got more and more intrusive and more and more female specific. He had it when the caller asked if the young lady in question intended to shave her hair. DH response? Are you looking for an Isha yefas toar?
(note, it was more of an answer to the impropriety of asking an unrelated man such a personal question regarding an inyan of tznius than him actually commenting on the minhag)

Lastly, my DS7 has always hated being called anything other than his given name. For some reason he gets called "Bud" by medical professionals (techs, doctors, therapists, etc). Instead of his usual growl "my name's not Bud, my name is...." he recently turned to me and asked loudly "why is the doctor calling me little flower? Can't he read my name in the chart?"
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Thu, Jul 25 2019, 11:17 pm
tf wrote:
I guess you don’t know everyone yet. I think a better option is to thank Hashem that you don’t have people in your life who are like this.



Thanks, but my post didn't come from naivete. I just cant relate to the sheer stupidity of some people. How does it make sense in their head to act in such a self-alienating, cruel, and relationship-sabotaging way???
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 25 2019, 11:56 pm
cbsp wrote:
I'm never good with comebacks but I'm surrounded by people who pride themselves...

My brother worked at a mechanic. The place was owned by a frum man but the mechanics were not Jews so my brother was the odd man out. First day on the job one of his colleagues calls to my brother "hey Jewboy, get me a wrench" to which my brother replied "that's Mr. Jewboy to you." He was never disrespected again.

My husband was listed as a shidduch reference for the daughter of family friends. The family in question is chassidish but we are JPF. The questions got more and more intrusive and more and more female specific. He had it when the caller asked if the young lady in question intended to shave her hair. DH response? Are you looking for an Isha yefas toar?
(note, it was more of an answer to the impropriety of asking an unrelated man such a personal question regarding an inyan of tznius than him actually commenting on the minhag)

Lastly, my DS7 has always hated being called anything other than his given name. For some reason he gets called "Bud" by medical professionals (techs, doctors, therapists, etc). Instead of his usual growl "my name's not Bud, my name is...." he recently turned to me and asked loudly "why is the doctor calling me little flower? Can't he read my name in the chart?"

Love the way your son stuck up for himself Very Happy
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 26 2019, 12:06 am
top mom wrote:
Love the way your son stuck up for himself Very Happy


Yup! And I love that he used humor...

Anyone else here remember Mad Magazine's snappy comebacks?
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 8:34 pm
I gotta bump this up for the lolz. I think we could all use a laugh
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 9:55 pm
After I had a baby I didn't go back to work and wasn't planning to . A few months later, I don't know why, whenever I would bump into a neighbor, she would ask me if I went back to work. It was starting to feel like harassment so the next time she asked, I answered, "Yes. Full time." She stopped in her tracks in shock, "Really?" "Yes. Taking care of them," while I put my hands on my children's heads. She never asked again
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:16 pm
amother [ Lilac ] wrote:
I was debating writing this one for a long time. Please don't assume that someone older (late 30s) has a lot of kids. I only have one, but I get asked quite frequently "where are your other kids" or "are you sure that this child is your oldest/youngest etc" after I said that this child is my only child.

I always want to say (I get it somewhat frequently). No, I forgot the other ones in the hospital after birth. But it's not really nice, so I don't.

Just a psa. No need for hugging.



I've gotten too many comments asking me when I'm due- in fact, just got another one today. I'm not currently pregnant, yet have a tummy that makes me look like I'm 6 months pregnant (especially after the corona weight gain). I thought I would use this as a comeback- "in 10 months" but couldn't get myself to say it, because those people mean well! They're friends or loved ones, and would be more mortified than me when they realize their mistake. Why do they deserve a rude comeback in addition to their embarrassment?

Quoting this post because of her comment about wanting to be nice.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:45 pm
Dh is from another Anglo-speaking country, where shidduchim can be tough in the chassidish community due to the limited prospects in the city. I'm redhaired, and my stupid mil once commented im front of me that her son-in-law was probably willing to listen to the shidduch with her daughter because he's reddish (red beard). I was like, "Huh? I didn't have issues with shidduchim due to my hair color."

Thanks, Shvigs. Now I know what you really think of my looks.

Same stupid mil sent a WhatsApp message to my phone, "Mazel tov DD upon your bas mitzvah."
I messaged back, "Dd doesn't use my phone", but was fuming that she didn't personally call my dd. She responded, "So tell her that Bubby sends her a mazel tov." I wish I would've thought of messaging back, "Call her, please. I think she'd appreciate if she would hear it directly from you."

Chutzpahdik dil that I am, after that story, I blocked her from my WhatsApp. If she doesn't know how to use WhatsApp appropriately, then I don't want her to communicate with me that way.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:55 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Dh is from another Anglo-speaking country, where shidduchim can be tough in the chassidish community due to the limited prospects in the city. I'm redhaired, and my stupid mil once commented im front of me that her son-in-law was probably willing to listen to the shidduch with her daughter because he's reddish (red beard). I was like, "Huh? I didn't have issues with shidduchim due to my hair color."

Thanks, Shvigs. Now I know what you really think of my looks.

Same stupid mil sent a WhatsApp message to my phone, "Mazel tov DD upon your bas mitzvah."
I messaged back, "Dd doesn't use my phone", but was fuming that she didn't personally call my dd. She responded, "So tell her that Bubby sends her a mazel tov." I wish I would've thought of messaging back, "Call her, please. I think she'd appreciate if she would hear it directly from you."

Chutzpahdik dil that I am, after that story, I blocked her from my WhatsApp. If she doesn't know how to use WhatsApp appropriately, then I don't want her to communicate with me that way.


Your mil might be stupid, but you're very rude.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Wed, Jun 17 2020, 10:58 pm
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Your mil might be stupid, but you're very rude.

I know TMI
Couldn't help myself. It just bothered me so much, dh didn't seem to understand or care, so I took matters into my own hands. My mil still has no idea.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:20 am
There's someone in my life who regularly tells me that I look tired, what's the matter. I've told her, more than once, that it makes me feel bad, but she says she only does it because she cares.

Now, when she tells me I look tired, I respond, "Yeah, and you look pretty wiped out yourself. What's wrong?"

It hasn't stopped her, but it has slowed her down. She doesn't tell me how awful I look quite so often.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:25 am
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
I know TMI
Couldn't help myself. It just bothered me so much, dh didn't seem to understand or care, so I took matters into my own hands. My mil still has no idea.


Wow. Your mil is evil! You should cut off all contact with her!

(Sarcasm alert.)
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 12:32 am
amother [ Seafoam ] wrote:
Your mil might be stupid, but you're very rude.


and your judging her isn't? Rolling Eyes
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 4:16 am
simba wrote:
Your nicer then my mom.
If my dad asks for supper she quickly reminds him that she isn’t lactating and he can find his own food!


I never undrstood these kinds of things. Its a simple question. If dinner IS being prepared, and the husband doesn't ask and instead helps himself to something and then is too full for dinner, the wife would also be unhappy! How are these poor guys supposed to read your mind?
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amother
Babypink


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 5:05 am
I was learning in a horrible midrasha once after I finished my conversion (long story how I got there... basically lack of options where to live in Israel) and one BT girl who had an axe to grind because I'd recently gotten engaged and she was much older and single said to me in front of everyone "well, we already know he's not a kohen anyway, because they're not allowed to marry the likes of you"

I replied nonchalantly "oh that's ok, I've never met a $exy kohen anyways so no big loss!"
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 8:12 am
amother [ Emerald ] wrote:
I never undrstood these kinds of things. Its a simple question. If dinner IS being prepared, and the husband doesn't ask and instead helps himself to something and then is too full for dinner, the wife would also be unhappy! How are these poor guys supposed to read your mind?


My bet is its probably has to do with the tone / expectation of the askee to the asked.
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WitchKitty




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 9:48 am
Kiwi13 wrote:
This one I thought of in time: When I was in college I worked part time as an aftercare teacher at an elementary school. The previous teacher brought in snacks for the kids from her own home. The kids wanted me to bring them snacks also and taunted me, saying, “Ms. so-and-so bought us snacks with her own money!”

I said back to the kids, “Wow! That was so nice of her!! I hope you said thank you!”

This reminded me of when a cousin of mine was at my grandmother Purim. She noticed this fancy wine in a shalach manos package and said, oh, wow, you know, I always wished I could drink some of this....!
My grandmother looked at her and said- "They sell them in the local grocery store, it's open until 3".
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 10:45 am
X
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 10:46 am
I hope I can include something that happened at work where I actually did come up with the right answer.

We are having telephony issues. In the middle of a zoom meeting the person from phone company support commented on something that was obviously wrong with my colleagues call and I was like ‘it’s literally broken telephone.’
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Chana Miriam S




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 18 2020, 10:59 am
amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:
I am fitness trainer and very athletic. a client once asked me why I still have fat on my body if I work out so much.
I kid you not....
I am still trying to formulate a good response to that because at the time I was dumbstruck.


So, I think that I empathize with this very much. While I am not a trainer, I do exercise regularly ( like I have muscle definition even though still technically morbidly obese) and I have been very public about my journey of weightloss.

I know that there are people who are like ‘why is she still fat?’

The thing is that I’m 52. I’m perimenopausal and I broke my metabolism in the 45 years of crazy disordered eating.

Even now, I had a triglyceride test come back WAY higher than it should be for very low carb ( since triglycerides are typically food related.) Dr. Jason Fung, who is my actual physician did the telephone equivalent of saying that everyone is different. He knows how I eat and what I do. He knows I don’t need basic education about nutrition and blood test results.

What it really comes down to is that bodies are complicated. There are genetic factors ( like even being male or female) that limit is to some extent as to what happens with our bodies.

For example, I’m five one but technically I have a huge frame, which is measured by wrist size versus height. I’m not sure if I have a goal weight at all. I have enormous breasts. Can I even get to the body fat level of someone with a flat chest?

My response would be : Everyone’s body is different. Fitness is about finding the right combination of factors that make you FEEL amazing, BE healthy and strong. The great news is that at any weight you can work these things out. And you can feel great no matter your size or fitness level. So let’s get started!
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