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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 04 2019, 9:29 am
We live on 2 floors. Bedrooms and a bathroom on the second floor. Kitchen and the rest downstairs ever sinnce 7 yr old dd was little she was always afraid of going up to bed when it was night outside because she hears noises. I thought she would outgrow it. We moved when dd was 5.5 and I thought maybe this home she wouldn't be so afraid but a few times even in daylight she is afraid. She looks for shadows. Listens out for noises. And told me today she doesn't want to go up by herself because she hears footsteps. How can I help her get over the fear? The funny thing is she is not very afraid of the dark outside. More like a fear of second floors and dark ones even more
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Notsobusy
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Sun, Aug 04 2019, 10:23 am
Do you have a night light in her room? One of my dds needed the hall light on also, besides for the nightlight, in order to go to sleep at night. She also needed me to stay upstairs while she was falling asleep. A lot of times it was a real pain, and I wasn't always able to make it work, but I would try to schedule my night so that I could spend some time upstairs for her.
She grew out of it eventually.
If noises scare her, maybe turn on a sound machine, or music, so she doesn't hear the noises.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Aug 04 2019, 3:17 pm
She shares a room with a younger dc. And younger dc usually goes to sleep befor her. Once I snuggle her in bed she goes to sleep nicely. But she wouldnt go to sleep befor her ds. She doesnt want to go up alone or be alone on the floor. So if I ask her to use the upstairs bathroom. She will tell me shes scared. Or just to go upstairs to any of the rooms, more in the evening hours than the morning she will tell me she is scared even with all the lights on
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nchr
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Sun, Aug 04 2019, 3:26 pm
I'd just say. This house is safe. Mommy/ima and tatty/daddy/aba are here. You are fine. We love you and always protect you. And leave it at that. If that doesn't work then I'd probably ask a professional for advice on how to handle it.
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amother
Indigo
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Sun, Aug 04 2019, 8:17 pm
This is so normal.
I had siblings like this, some of my kids won't go to sleep unless someone older is awake on the same floor, and some of my nieces and nephews are like that too.
Is it such a big deal to just have someone stay with her until she falls asleep?
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Jewishfoodie
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Sun, Aug 04 2019, 8:22 pm
Get those story tapes. I recommend Rabbi Burstyns children's cds.. Hours of truly interesting Torah stories and less ability to hear or concentrate over his professional story telling. I had similar issue with squirrels, may they all move to Uranus..
The cds were a lifesaver for all ages, and it drowned out the noise
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tf
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Mon, Aug 05 2019, 4:10 am
nchr wrote: | I'd just say. This house is safe. Mommy/ima and tatty/daddy/aba are here. You are fine. We love you and always protect you. And leave it at that. If that doesn't work then I'd probably ask a professional for advice on how to handle it. |
Also hold her hand and walk upstairs together with her. Sense the strength of her grip on your hand and amplify it just a bit. Talk calming and soothing phrases to her. Walk her through the process even if it means taking her to the bathroom. The combination of the comforting messages, acceptance and guidance will help her through until she feels strong enough to do it alone.
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amother
Seashell
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Mon, Aug 05 2019, 5:20 am
I have always been afraid of the unfinished basement in my parents house. It looks like a dungeon down there. I'm a mother of two and when we go to visit I send my brother down to do laundry for me
I hope she outgrows the fear before she's my age
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amother
Ivory
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Mon, Aug 05 2019, 5:35 am
I can empathize. My 4 year old daughter is extremely afraid of bugs. We had an ant problem in the spring and had to bring in exterminators to get rid of them. DD freaked out every time she saw one and they were mostly on the main floor near the front door, in the kitchen, and in the kid's bathroom upstairs. She used to be so independent and now she won't go anywhere in the house unless someone else is there already or at least someone will check for bugs before she goes. It's very hard because if it's only me home with her and the baby and I'm involved in other things then I can't always drop them to hold her hand. I'm really hoping she'll outgrow this fear. Good luck to you!
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mommy3b2c
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Mon, Aug 05 2019, 5:38 am
I was like this is as a child my son is like this too. It sounds like anxiety to me. I don’t really have any suggestions. Unfortunately I still suffer terribly from anxiety. But since you are aware, I’m sure there is a lot you can do to help her. I would speak to a professional and take it from there.
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amother
Sapphire
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Mon, Aug 05 2019, 6:41 am
My dd was like this also. Aside from taking her to a professional, we also gave her a walkie talkie- we had one and she had one. She was allowed to talk to us from her bed whenever she felt scared or needed something. It helped her a lot. We also put on calming music for her to listen to and to relax with. Bh she mostly outgrew it
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amother
Lime
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Mon, Aug 05 2019, 10:12 am
Is there a chance your house may be haunted? DD might be the only one sensitive enough to feel a presence. Find a good rabbi who is aware of these things.
There's a lot in the Talmud and Zohar to support the idea of evil spirits in your house. Shaddaim and such.
If nothing else, maybe a rabbi can walk through your house and reassure your child that there is nothing to fear, because he checked.
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