S/O from other thread. Naming after parent/gparent

amother

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:46 am

Would you name your child, after parent or grandparent that you didnt like or had no relationship with, or one that had a difficult personality, or your parent had strained relationship with said grandparent?

How would you feel? What about respect/non-respect to parent with hard relatonship to that grandparent? Would parent be happy or upset, if naming after that parent to them?

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:52 am

I did not name after one grandparent. Or patents were shocked. But I only have terrible memories of that grandparent. The family who did name after said grandparent, all of the children with that particular name are extremely challenging kids. It's spooky.
One added a second name....

I name my kids after ppl I want them to emulate. I don't plan to name after a parent either when the time comes.

amother

Violet

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:55 am

I didn't name after my grandmother. I weaseled my way out. Coincidentally, my MIL has the first of her double name and my SIL has the second.
I am well aware that had I wanted to I could have found a way, but I didn't want to and my parent, who had a rocky relationship with her didn't think to hard and accepted my out.

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:44 am

We didnt. We asked one of the gedolei hador if it was that necessary and after hearing that it wouldnt cause huge machlokes and there would just be disappointed/annoyed parents and inlaws, he said the whole thing wasnt important at all and we should just name our kid a name we love.

Which we happily did.

amother

Blue

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:52 am

My grandfather had aspects of his personality that were difficult, but he was a holocaust survivor and I think the trauma affected him. My father would want us to name someone after him. (I don't have any boys yet).

OTOH it's a little freaky - I have a number of nephews and cousins named after him, and several of them (but not all) have developmental issues. Freaks me out a little.

So I'm not sure what I would do if I had a boy.

amother

Purple

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 11:54 am

amother [ Bisque ] wrote:

What about finding someone you do admire who has the same name that you can have in mind?

We did this. My mother in law's name is Frecha. Feel free to Google the meaning and it's super obvious why noone will name after her. We are Sephardic and she is alive so it's an honour to name for parents. She is not a nice person. Has been abusive but my husband thought after several girls that we have plus she has 7 other granddaughters and noone has named for her...that we should give a name with the same original meaning which is joy. We used the name Reena as a middle name - and at the baby naming said we named her for a close family friend whom we adore, which is true. I think of her when I see the name and not my mil who doesn't need to know this! My fil actually forbid my husband to use his wife's name given the use of it in Israel! She was born in Morocco.

amother

Green

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 1:10 pm

My grandfather was a lousy human being who left my grandmother an aguna until he died. Nobody has named after him, and nobody wants to.

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 1:46 pm

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

OMG!! Who would name their child such a name???

amother

Yellow

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 1:56 pm

We named ds after my mother in law's father, who I never met. After ten years if hearing all of his accomplishments, etc, last year she started telling me about all of his really negative traits and about how difficult it was to grow up with him as her father and his anger and strictness and being unforgiving. Knowing this, I wouldn't give the name, or at least would change it somehow. But ds already has it! And now when I hear ds repeat all the good stories and talk about how he looks up to this great grandfather, I have a very negative feeling.

essie14

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 2:15 pm

My DH grandfather told all his children not to name anyone after his father because his father was not a good person. And no one did.
I would never name for anyone who I wouldn't want my child to emulate or who I didn't have a good relationship with.