Baby is not yet a birth weight at 30 days old

amother

Powderblue

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 10:53 pm

I would be concerned especially if the parents are young new parents. I would make sure to be tactful and talk to your son expressing how his wife is doing an amazing job so far and how proud you are of them as a couple and as parents but you think in your experience as a mother that the baby is not gaining enough and if she is nursing maybe supplementation is necessary for the health of the baby.

amother

Ruby

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 11:05 pm

This rate of weight gain is concerning. please tactfully say something. Maybe they misunderstood the dr or the dr misunderstood them. Offer to go with them to the next weight check visit. Call the dr and ask him to stay anonymous. This seems serious. Perhaps we are missing details

anonymrs

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 11:07 pm

I would be highly concerned. Baby should be back at birthweight by 2 weeks. 3 weeks would already be a concern. But by a month, baby is not getting enough to eat or something is wrong.

As a grandmother, I'm not sure what you can do. But I agree with you that this is not ok.

amother

Olive

Tue, Aug 06 2019, 11:16 pm

I think its ok to say something. Day of my sons bris my mil called me up and said "make sure baby has a wet diaper within a few hours, if he doesnt it could mean something went wrong by bris" I hung up thinking screw you dont tell me what to look oit for or what to do, I dont want to go into detsil but I am forever grateful till today that she picked ip the phone to tell her new mom dil that

amother

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:17 pm

First time getting online since I posted.

I am so worried and I don't understand the doctor. The baby is going back to the doctor in 2 weeks which in my opinion means he is concerned. My DIL is on a milk free diet so this is not a milk allergy. They live in a different town but will be spending time with me so I will keep an eye on it.

If I get very concerned I will call DIL mother as she listens and trusts her a lot. I just didn't because I feel it is very inappropriate. However I will do what I need to do for the baby's health.

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:34 pm

Btw for all those who said to call the doctor without the knowledge of the parents - do Not do that. You are not the patient and you are not the parent. My mil once did that to my pediatrician and the doctor told her off. Aside for breaking laws it is highly inappropriate. Calling dil’s mother and speaking about your concern respectfully is the way to go imho.

amother

Peach

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:51 pm

If you generally trust this pediatrician then why not assume there is a good reason he is not concerned? For example , baby’s rate of weight gain may have increased from birth and now he is catching up. Please don’t get involved! You can daven if you feel like you want to help. And offer support in any other way .. meals , help etc . Help your DIL rest and recuperate - it will help her milk supply as well as her mental health for focusing on baby’s needs.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 11:07 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

For goodness' sake, don't call your DIL's mother!! First of all, your machatenesta will not appreciate it. Second, your DIL will really, really not appreciate it!

If the doctor said to come back in two weeks, he'll keep an eye on it.

By the way- can I ask what weight we're talking about? How much did the baby weigh at birth, and how much does he weigh now?

amother

Peach

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 11:16 pm

Oh , and one little tip — if you want your DIL to enjoy coming to you please don’t plan on “keeping an eye” on the baby’s weight gain while
she’s there!!! It will be obvious and annoying. Sorry to be so blunt . Offer advice only when asked. Otherwise offer your support and love.

amother

Puce

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 12:27 am

I quite agree with the amothers above me. (Peach and emerald). It's not your place to call the doctor or her mother, nor is it your place to scrutinize a new mother and judge if her baby seems hungry or fussy.

The baby BH has a mother, a father, and a competent pediatrician. The mother is clearly on top of the situation.
I wonder how you, as a grandmother who lives in a different city, even know about the weight issue. Presumably one of the parents was concerned enough to mention in passing. That shows that they arent oblivious and are on top of it.

Many pediatricians have a 6 week check up, so it makes sense that they are going back in 2 weeks. If the pediatrician was concerned, he would have them coming in much sooner, even daily.

Jewishmom8

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 5:52 am

if you are the MIL stay out of it. You had your chance with your own kids.
If you want to poison your relationship with your dil by all means go down the road of criticizing her parenting now. How do you think that is going to go for you? I'll tell you how. You will ruin your relationship with your dil and son.
Do you want them to invite you into their lives? Put a smile on and be kind. If you are worried daven for the baby.
A young mother is always VERY sensitive when it comes to the way she takes care of the baby ESPECIALLY with her MIL.
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. you want a long term relationship with them. Don't go and ruin it now.

yerushamama

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 7:13 am

My grandson was born with a severe tongue tie which kept him from nursing properly, and he refused to take bottles (they were somehow more difficult for him than nursing). His doctor started calculating appropriate *birthweight only AFTER his tongue tie was clipped and he was able to eat properly (yes, they did keep a close eye on him to make sure he didn't get dehydrated, and he wasn't losing weight, just not gaining). Is it possible that there is a similar situation here?

I agree that the situation seems concerning, but please tread lightly! If he seems lethargic or extremely kvetchy, see if you can find a way to express your concerns to your DIL, but only if you are sure that she will not take it as criticism.

eta - *whoops! I meant weight gain

Last edited by yerushamama on Thu, Aug 08 2019, 3:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Blonde

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 2:51 pm

Interesting to read all different approaches.
My daughter took a while to get back to her birthweight. We bottle fed her exclusively so that we can track her milk intake. I also took her to pediatrician once a week and weighed on the same scale to get exact gram amount.
Took her over 6 weeks to regain birth weight, but doc said as long as she's gaining we'll just keep monitoring.
At one point she lost an oz which sent me into complete frenzy, went crying to my mom that I cannot emotionally handle tiny baby going back to hospital. Pediatrician just said bring her back in 2 days, and TG she had gained it back by then. Was quite a scare though.
As long as they are monitoring it carefully and baby keeps gaining pray God all will be well.
May everything go well!