Incapable of feeling sad

Motherhood

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 2:47 pm

I just watched a YouTube video by Charlie Harrary. It was short and to the point. What he was basically saying is that we are not sad, we are mourning. Mourning the Beis Hamikdosh is like yearning, not sadness. Watch it!

queen esther

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 5:50 pm

tichellady wrote:

I don’t really think the fast has much to do with Gd. I think it’s more about being sad about all the tragedies.

Respectfully and strongly disagree with this...
It is 100% about Gd! Who else caused these tragedies, and Who else do we need a temple for to reconnect with? I understand that mourning the tragedies is supposed to remind us that the source of all tragedies is the churban and lead us to yearn to end the galus. And galus is being disconnected and far from Gd, and we want the opposite.
On the other hand, OP, I really appreciate hearing your anger because I also have the questions. So many questions. But like other poster said..I believe it's about believing there is something beyond our logic. It's hard.

etky

Sun, Aug 11 2019, 11:25 pm

queen esther wrote:

Of course G-d is in the equation but the focus of the day is on us: our collective sin that resulted in the churban and galut, our responsiblity to rectify this sin and our hope that G-d will once against dwell amongst us when he sees our sincere efforts and yearning.
I think that focusing on private pain and questions of theodicy diverts the whole point of the day and plays down our sense of agency in our national narrative
There is no mystery to why the churban occurred. We sinned and were punished.
I appreciate that people have anger against G-d on a personal level and have questions.
I also firmly believe that there is something beyond our logic. But I don't think that this is the essence of Tisha B'av.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Aug 12 2019, 1:09 am

I think the OP’s point is that we’ve more than paid for our sins. Even before the horrors of the holocaust, thousands willingly gave up their lives rather than convert Jews suffered tremendously and stayed Jewish.

etky

Mon, Aug 12 2019, 1:18 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

I think the OP’s point is that we’ve more than paid for our sins. Even before the horrors of the holocaust, thoughsands willingly gave up their lives rather than converting. Jews suffered tremendously and stayed Jewish.

And Hashem has been gracious to us by restoring us to Eretz Yisrael, at least physically.
He has demonstrated that He has not forgotten and forsaken us, just as He promised.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 12 2019, 4:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So why am I fasting? Why am I causing more pain to myself when I’m already feeling so much of it? It feels like God wants me to punish myself, but I haven’t done anything wrong. He has.

Because we need a day to shout it. We should be feeling the churban every day. We don't let it overwhelm us. We were mema'et b'simcha this month but we are still to be b'simcha. That should be our steady state. And yet at the same time, we are to mourn the churban every day. But we whisper it the rest of the year.

I'm not going to address your basic premise. I think you have some good questions. That I'm not bothered the same way is probably due to my nature and my own techunos hanefesh. But I can fully understand those feelings even if I don't share them. I wish you menucha. I wish us all menucha, inner and outer.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 12 2019, 4:47 am

tichellady wrote:

I don’t really think the fast has much to do with Gd. I think it’s more about being sad about all the tragedies.

Let's unpack this.
Who brought the tragedies? Hashem.

Everything, EVERYTHING in life, is to get us to connect to Him. We have to see Him everywhere, 24/7. There's a great thought in the Stone chumash that I wish I had time to copy because it's said so beautifully but I have to run soon. It's on the last parasha of Shema, at the end of B'shalach. It's about techeiles. We look at techeiles and see the blue which reminds us of the sky and thinking of Hashem. A bit of a roundabout way to get there. But it's saying that this is who we should be - people who see Hashem everywhere. We have to see beneath the surface and connect dots.

As Rabbi Zev Smith said (Why We Weep, essay 10th of Av), our steady state is supposed to be one of nafshi cholas ahavasecha.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 12 2019, 4:49 am

etky wrote:

Yes, and also about taking responsibility for our role in incurring the destructions and exiles.
It is an oppprtunity for national introspection with an empahsis on rectifying our behavior especially on the level of bein adam lechavero.
Anyone who can't relate emotionally to the sadness of the day should just try to appreciate it on an intellectual level. Maybe later in life the emotional aspect will come.

Absolutely. It's why there is so much focus on ahavas Yisrael in so many Tisha B'Av speeches, videos, etc.

BUT we have to remember that we love each other because we are Hashem's children. Ahavas Yisrael is part of ahavas Hashem.

Let's not compartmentalize. We know that Hashem cuts us a lot of slack if we love each other, or at the very least can work with each other. (See Rav Hirsch on the concept of tzibur and the difference between Dor Hamabul and Dor Haflaga.) But we can't leave our relationship to Hashem out of this.

PinkFridge

Mon, Aug 12 2019, 4:52 am

etky wrote:

And Hashem has been gracious to us by restoring us to Eretz Yisrael, at least physically.
He has demonstrated that He has not forgotten and forsaken us, just as He promised.

And this is something chareidim say too. Rabbi Reisman has repeatedly said that our access to EY is a Divine kiss after the Holocaust.