No Time Outs, so then what..?

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 12:54 am

For tantrums best to avoid what sets them off in the first place. If you can't then simply ignore them. Sometimes I find it does help to keep repeating what they want so they see you understand. When the tantrum finishes hold them and hug and kiss them.
For taking toy away I would just take back from them and say calmly is not yours.
For hitting baby, pick baby up and give baby exra attention. I would ignore kid that hits as much as possible. Later when out of situation maybe explain that we don't hit.
In general I talk a lot about my own emotions...more as they get older... And ways I have found to regulate them. E. G. I'm feeling really angry right now and I don't want to shout. I'm going in my room for a few mins to calm down. As they get older they may copy. I also say to a two year old "you are making me sad". Or "you are making me happy" when I'm happy ill sing with them and be very present. If I'm sad I'll withdraw a bit but give no attention. A regular little kid will try very hard to make me happy.
I don't know if these things would work for a difficult child. My kids are pretty average and easy.

TwinsMommy

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 1:27 am

I used a lot of humor at that age. Still do but my twins are now 12 so now my humor is sarcastic. (I give that scream an 8.5 --- they didn't hear you in Columbus) (ooooh are we having a massive meltdown? Let me get my chair and popcorn... hang on....)

At that age...... Sing a silly song about what the problem is, do a big dramatic shhhhhh with my finger to my lips, make a production out of putting my fingers in my ears and making a hilarious face.

Lalala..... Reena doesn't like her dirty diaper.... when I'm done changing her she will no longer be hyper....... (silly songs)

NO yelling, NO touching. I didn't mind time outs but with one of my twins it never worked--- she never STAYED in time out. I still can't tell her to go anywhere --- she just darn well WON'T. The other twin goes where I tell him but screams while doing so. Love these pre-teen years.