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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 5:59 pm

Im due in a few weeks iyh and we have a lot going on at home. I have a business and DH is in his final stretch of grad school. We have 2 children and this will be our 3rd iyh.. we have help in the business in addition to cleaning help now, we crunched the numbers and it makes sense with the added expense of babysitting to get live in help. I hope to be able to get a Jamaican woman thru one of my customers but im very nervous about how much work is considered ok for live in help.
Ideally I would want her to clean a few hours in the mornings and watch the baby during my work hours (till 3). Ive heard of people having another baby join during the day time to offset costs but I want to be fair and not overwork her while still keep this as cost effective as possible. Also because DH is not going to be avail to help around the house with the pressure from school and the boards lingering over his head, id like afternoon help with the baby or other kids. And in the evenings I would have her help out with business related stuff and cleaning up etc. Even as im typing this it sounds like an insane amount for 1 person. This is going to be a 4-6 month arrangement depending on when DH takes his boards. Id love everyones thoughts. Pls be nice!!

amother

Crimson

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:13 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What kind of business related stuff do you think she can do? Seriously?

I have had Jamaican nannies. All but one didn't know how to give a bath. They splashed water from the tap on the kids as they stood up in the tub. My cleaning lady now does the same splashing in my sink, driving me koko. Why can't they use the force from the facet?

The only one who knew how to bath the kids was a Jamaican nursing student.

Most of these people are uneducated and untrainable. They will do it their way. It took me awhile to teach them how to bathe kids. They need to be taught a kosher home. Even when you think they know, they mix things up. My cleaning lady who I had for 2 years, mixed up green tagged pots with red tagged pots, and I have a mehitzah in my kitchen.

You need to allow a training in period if they are fresh from Jamaica. You can forget business stuff unless you have a bright one and the tasks are repetitive and you are right there supervising.

Maybe you would be better off doing the business stuff while supervising her cooking.

You are setting yourself up for frustration.

amother

Rose

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:16 pm

Interesting, all the nannies where I live know how to give kids a bath. I would definitely recommend hiring someone who previously worked for another family and comes with good references. How many hours a day will she be working, in total? I think it comes down to that, and respecting her need for some down time in the evening before she goes to sleep.

Ravenclaw

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:33 pm

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Ummm you have decided what she is capable of based on her ethnicity?

Ravenclaw

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:37 pm

To OP—
I think everything you wrote is reasonable, except for the business related stuff at night. That seems like pushing it slightly, though discuss it with her and it might work.
I think you should work out specific working hours and off hours with her. Have a very clear contract. How many hours a day is she on-call? How much time is she entitled to (shower, meals, off time) even if things are extremely hectic? How much money is that worth?

tichellady

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:40 pm

I have no experience with this but will say as someone who does have someone who does cleaning/babysitting you have to decide your priority. Is it cleaning or childcare? I don’t think it’s fair to expect both at the same time. I certainly find it hard to keep a clean home while taking care of a baby. You can ask her do do both, but if you have a fussy baby she may need to spend hours holding the baby and won’t be able to do much else.

In terms of what so fair and realistic- I think an 8 hour work day with one day off is reasonable for someone doing cleaning and childcare- it’s very tiring and you don’t want to mistreat her or burn her out

tichellady

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:42 pm

I would not bring another child into this. I have never heard of a nanny share for newborns. That is too much to expect

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:42 pm

This is second-hand info (my friends have had live-in help but not me), but it may be challenging to get someone to both clean and care for the children, unless all the children are out of the house at the same time. She will need a meal break and a reasonable amount of personal time in the evening. Adding office work into the mix may be too much.

Stars

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 6:44 pm

Ravenclaw wrote:

Ummm you have decided what she is capable of based on her ethnicity?

I'm not racist but what she described is pretty accurate. Have you ever employed one?

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 7:01 pm

I think some light cleaning + baby care is reasonable (I.e. dishes, tidying up, folding laundry), but too much to add evening work in the mix. That's gonna be potentially a 12-15 hour day. She would have no down time before bed, and you don't want her her burning out and not being able to give the baby enough attention because she is exhausted.

amother

White

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 7:25 pm

Don't ask someone hired for domestic help to get involved in any way with your business. Its too enmeshed.

Keep on the person you hired to work in your business.

amother

Crimson

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 7:25 pm

Ravenclaw wrote:

Ummm you have decided what she is capable of based on her ethnicity?

No. It's based on a lack of education and experience dealing with those without. The difference between the Jamaican nursing student and the other Jamaicans is education. Duh, they are all Jamaican.

Education isn't universal in other countries. It may be only rudimentary when it exists. My cleaning lady can barely text in her native Spanish. That's from a lack of education not because she's Spanish.

I finally figured out, and had it confirmed, why the bath splashing and having the toddler's standing in the bathtub was because this is how they wash their children in the village pump. They don't have bathtubs.

The nannies all liked to cook. My kids all love Jamaican jerked chicken and rice & beans.

It could be that the agency where I got my nannies got them from the villages. I got my nannies legally, so they were only allowed to stay here a certain length of time before they had to go home.

causemommysaid

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 7:35 pm

no way should she do business stuff.

cleaning and childcare only

I know that au pairs are relatively inexpensive. You are providing food, lodging, and utilities.

I think they usually work 6 days a week between 8 and 10 hours a day for about $10 an hour. it may even be less an hour.

it seems very low but really its more because of the room and board.

crl

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 8:54 pm

In my experience, I was satisfied with a competent nanny; she handled all baby related cleaning (dishes, laundry, basic tidying) but nothing deep cleaning or related to us. I would not ask her for business help, and I would recommend getting references or going through an agency. If she’s acting as a baby nurse, if she’s getting up at night, you do need to factor that into her time and hours — her primary focus should be childcare and you might need auxiliary help with additional cleaning, upkeep, etc.

amother

Denim

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 9:56 pm

Good point. If she is getting up at night with baby then ah will rest when can’t rests not clean.
Light household tasks - dishes, fold laundry, empty trash bins.
I’ve heard of people taking in an additional child but only when they are older. Not as babies. If she is on call at night it’s too much.

turca

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:13 pm

is she doing the baby at night?
You need a good schedule! Let’s say her hours are from 8 am till 8 pm. She won’t be doing heavy/deep cleaning everyday. Rather, she ll keep it clean. I’ll come back soon and I’ll write an example of a scheduling.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Aug 14 2019, 10:40 pm

If u go through an agency they can help u figure out what to expect- eg a lakewood agency I recently dealt with has 2 options both at 500$ plus agency fee.

1- a baby nurse. 24/6. Only baby focused (does cleanup relating to baby, laundry) and no other child. Appropriate until your baby sleeps through the night basically.

2- a nanny/ live in cleaner - 12 hours a day/6 days. More appropriate if your child is not up at night. A balancing act of how much cleaning and nannying you need- so if you bring in another child you can expect much less cleaning.

With both you can expect them to need to use the bathroom/ shower/ eat. With the first it’s mostly on her time though she should get a lunch break. With the second she should be doing while baby is sleeping but if baby won’t give her a break...

We have had a baby nurse that stayed and after the baby slept though the night became more of a nanny. She was not trained as a cleaning but took a more active role (laundry etc) in the household when the parameters were re-evaluated.

If you plan on using an agency maybe call them to discuss.

lcraighten

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 8:51 am

tichellady wrote:

I would not bring another child into this. I have never heard of a nanny share for newborns. That is too much to expect

I have. It all depends on what the nanny is willing to do.

studying_torah

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 10:15 am

Almost all of the baby nurses I used were very resentful of having to clean as well or take care of other kids- even when it was prearranged with the agency.
You really need to make sure the person is ok with it. And figure out just how much cleaning can be done while taking care of a baby.

Also, if she will be up at night, she will likely need time by day to rest.

I would not expect any business involvement, that's not really what they're generally hired for.

tichellady

Thu, Aug 15 2019, 10:19 am

lcraighten wrote:

I have. It all depends on what the nanny is willing to do.

m
What about what’s good for the babies? Personally I would not be comfortable with a nannyshare for newborns.

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