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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
OP
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Thu, Aug 15 2019, 1:16 pm
To our utter dismay we just found out our daughter has been gambling online for some time. This has come as a big shock because even though she has certain difficulties we had no idea it would come to this.
She is 24 and lives at home with us and has been seeing a therapist for about 2 years about other issues. Through her gambling she is now in debt.
We are very saddened and upset. Paying back the money is not our immediate concern. The main issue is how should we relate to her. She is extremely ashamed and embarrassed by what she has done and we want to help her put this behind her.
We would like to hear any suggestions / advice about how to move forward.
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amother
Orange
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Thu, Aug 15 2019, 1:19 pm
A 12 step program makes sense. Her therapist can probably recommend one appropriate for her.
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amother
Aubergine
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Thu, Aug 15 2019, 1:28 pm
Is she willing to go to GA and see an addictions therapist?
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rikki 1
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Thu, Aug 15 2019, 11:54 pm
I hope you don't plan to pay up her debt. That would be enabling her and stunting her recovery.
She has to want to stop gambling and go for help. You say she's been in therapy but is she willing to address this big topic in therapy? You can not force someone into recovery, I've learned the hard way (a spouse with different addiction).
Good luck!!
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ellacoe
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Fri, Aug 16 2019, 12:59 am
This must be very upsetting for you. You mention that your daughter is remorseful and that you would like to help her. Have you considered having a conversation with her asking her how you can best help and support her?
It may also help to sit down and determine where she thinks she might have trouble, and develop plans for that.
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gold2
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Fri, Aug 16 2019, 11:07 am
I've heard with this type of issue that the family members should go to the 12 step program or a therapist who deals with these issues to help you learn how to deal with it and not enable the behaviors. Hope you manage to find the right shaliach soon.
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