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Are you part of a community?
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:37 am
Do you consider your community, your block, neighborhood, shul, school, etc? Is it something you feel you need and would feel almost lost without one? How much do you rely on it physically or is it more emotionally?

This is kind of a spin off of a different thread. The amother feel she needs the community, but is not part of it. I never felt I was part of any community, but for me and my dh that's the way we like it. The shul we go to is very small and getting smaller because it's mostly older people and sadly they're dying. I don't have much to do with the school since it's not close and it's a new school for us. We each have our own friends, but they don't necessarily know each other. Even when we lived elsewhere I never felt part of one for one reason or another. I don't think I would mind it very much as long as it's small.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:39 am
Yes, my yishuv. It's my lifeline, and my surrogate family. I would be very nervous about moving again, because we are already so rooted in the community, that I would feel very lost without it.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 11:47 am
Yes, my chassidus. I definitely have friends from out of my chassidus (or chassidus in general) but my community, that feels like family (and many times is) is my chassidus.
I feel like I belong to the shul, school... it's part of my identity.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 11:53 am
No, not really. My neighborhood has changed a lot over the years. even when I was newly married there weren't many of us of my age. Everyone in my shul was 30 years older than us when we married and now everyone in my shul is 30 years younger than us. There are maybe 2 other families around of our generation. We've always been odd man out, with hardly anyone here of our generation. it's very alienating.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 11:58 am
I live in Westgate (Lakewood).I feel zero emotional attachment to the neighborhood. If it changed in character requiring the people and shuls (myself included) to scatter elsewhere it would not bother me on an emotional level at all.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 12:26 pm
Not really. We are different haskafically from 99% of the people living here, and while nobody is unfriendly, we kind of feel like we are held at arm's distance even though we make great efforts to reach out to our neighbors. It's upsetting. I miss that feeling of community. Moving is not an option in the near future, but we will probably get out of here once the last kids have finished school.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 1:43 pm
Yes, I am part of a strong community.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:32 pm
Yes. So much so that we are called a cult by others.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:43 pm
Yup, it's a mix of area and hashkafa
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Aug 16 2019, 2:51 pm
Yes. I feel like I am part of a community. My kids schools, camps, my neighbors, my shul are all my community. There is a lot of chesed here and if you like to be social there is a lot to avail yourself of.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 3:49 pm
Yes. I am part of a wonderful, warm community that really feels like family.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 4:08 pm
Yup.
My yishuv. And even more so my block. They are my surrogate family.
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etky




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 5:17 pm
Yes.
Our yishuv is our community and also I would say part of our identity- certainly this is true of our kids who grew up here.
I am so grateful to have been able to bring them up here and to give them this sense of belonging somewhere.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 8:28 pm
No, and that’s what we chose and how we like it. We are two extreme non-conformists and want to be free to do our own thing without any peer pressure.
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icedcoffee




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 9:11 pm
Sort of! People my age in my area tend to hop around from shul to shul every week and I personally rotate between about 5 shuls. I have a strong group of friends and on most shabbats we either host or get invited somewhere, and either we make plans to go to shul with a specific couple or we just go and inevitably end up running into people we know. So I'd say my community is my friend group rather than any particular synagogue or institution. My husband and I take a chumash class though every week and we meet a lot of people there. We've only lived here for about a year though so maybe we'll lay down roots at a specific shul eventually.
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out-of-towner




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 9:48 pm
I'm blessed to be part of a few communities. DH and I are active in our Shul, and BH we have a strong community on the block that we live on.
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Tzutzie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 11:32 pm
Yups.
Part of a large chassidus, and on a smaller scale, my neighborhood.
We're around 40 families in 2 sq miles.
We don't fit in our original shul anymore so there is a second one.
Works out very well, becuase they daven at different times, different speed/Style. But it is still one comunity and the rov of the original shul actually helped the second shul get off the ground..... there is peace and unity.

Anyone within a 20 mine walk is considered out "Neighbor". Coming from Brooklyn that's hilarious!
Great place to live bh!
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Sat, Aug 17 2019, 11:59 pm
amother [ Ecru ] wrote:
Not really. We are different haskafically from 99% of the people living here, and while nobody is unfriendly, we kind of feel like we are held at arm's distance even though we make great efforts to reach out to our neighbors. It's upsetting. I miss that feeling of community. Moving is not an option in the near future, but we will probably get out of here once the last kids have finished school.



I have similar feeling and miss the small community/"family feeling" I had growing up. But, unfortunately, since I work full time and am so exhausted over weekends, I dont go places besides work which means my "community" is my non jewish colleagues. While they are nice and supportive, I wish I felt part of the jewish community but our shul is mostly ppl 15 yrs older than us and I dont go places to meet ppl bec im exhausted from long work hrs. I live in a big mix of jewish ppl, and im sure if I lived in a smaller oot place, id feel part of the community. But, I rely on the conveniences of a large community in ny and work close so we cant move oot. I feel isolated.
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Aug 18 2019, 2:16 am
Rappel wrote:
Yes, my yishuv. It's my lifeline, and my surrogate family. I would be very nervous about moving again, because we are already so rooted in the community, that I would feel very lost without it.


I feel similarly about my yishuv as well. I don't always feel that I 100% belong but I know that when push comes to shove they will be there for me. I can make more of an effort to belong and many of the families are very different from ours, but they do make a network of community even if it could be better.
We keep considering moving to a city but the community life, especially for the children but also for me, leave us back in the yishuv.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Sun, Aug 18 2019, 2:08 pm
No. I live in one of the in townest towns of in town communities and am surrounded by thousands of people each day but that just makes me feel lonelier than if I actually was in a cabin in the woods.
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