Is it okay to tell them not to use toys?

amother

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:52 am

I'm putting up a family for Shabbos for a neighbors simcha. THey will be sleeping in my basement. Is it okay if I tell them that the toys are off limits. I use them for therapy. I spent countless hours this summer cleaning and organizing my therapy toys and some are expensive and I don't want to lose pieces. Is it okay to tell them not to touch? or is that rude?

amother

Fuchsia

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:53 am

Of course you can tell them. I would probably lock them up if I were you (fellow therapist who knows just what you mean).

amother

Linen

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:54 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Its not rude if the toys are for your work? (I'm not clear on this).

amother

Lime

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:56 am

It's fine - especially if you say you use them for work. But if there's any way you can cover them (shelving paper?) it will make it easier. The kids might just take them on their own otherwise.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 7:59 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

It's fine - especially if you say you use them for work. But if there's any way you can cover them (shelving paper?) it will make it easier. The kids might just take them on their own otherwise.

Right.

As a therapist, do you really think that kids can see new and exciting toys, and not touch them? The toys need to be completely out of sight, or you need to not put guest children down there.

You can leave out a few toys that are pretty indestructible, and put the rest in storage.

amother

Magenta

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:32 am

Nothing wrong with telling them, but do you really want to take the chance the kids will listen/parents will enforce? I think you're better off moving them out of reach or putting a very obvious visual reminder (like the shelving paper suggested above) just to be safe. And try to have something available that they can play with.

amother

Taupe

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:37 am

I would put the toys away out of reach. Even if you do ask them not to touch, they probably will if it's right there.

ectomorph

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:40 am

As a guest, that would be fine. But my kids might climb out of their crib and find them in the middle of the night. So I would ask you to cover them in a way my kids can't see them.

amother

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:45 am

op here thanks for the replies. .It's impossible to lock them up and put them out of reach, I have a ton of toys.. been doing this a long time..I spent hours and hours cleaning and arranging the toys on specific shelves this summer, I can't and don't have the time to move everything (It's literally a wall with 9 huge shelves of games , books and puzzles). I will tell them it's off limits and hope for the best!

amother

Taupe

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:46 am

Can you lock up that room? Make that room off limits? Throw sheets over the shelves to cover them or cover the shelves with plastic.

zaq

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 8:46 am

I would lock them up or pack them into big boxes and seal the boxes with tape. Kids are kids; you can't really expect them not to touch things that are in their face.

amother

Cobalt

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:19 am

You can tell them but doesn't mean they will listen.
When I had guest I locked the closet, removed what I could and left some toys in closet that doesn't lock. The parents let them play with the toys and my DC were very upset.

Amarante

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:33 am

Nothing wrong with telling them that they are not to use the items on shelves.

However, I agree that it might be difficult to enforce. If possible I would tack sheets in front of the shelves so there is no temptation. You can seal the sides with duct tape.

amother

Navy

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:35 am

Explain why the toys are off limits so that they don’t think you summed them up as wild savages in the first thirty seconds you met them. That will also motivate the parents to supervise better.
Perhaps you shouldn’t have guests with young children. It would be less stressful for you.

OOTforlife

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:37 am

I agree with everyone who says that it's not rude to set the limit, but that enforcement will be unpredictable. In addition to concealing these toys as suggested above, could you put some toys down there that are OK to play with?

amother

Babyblue

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:39 am

zaq wrote:

I would lock them up or pack them into big boxes and seal the boxes with tape. Kids are kids; you can't really expect them not to touch things that are in their face.

I disagree with this in principle. I don't undertstand why children should be left unsupervised when guests in someone's home and why the parents shouldn't enforce the don't touch rule. BUT since I already know most parents don't supervise the way I do and aren't as respectful of other people's homes and things as I try to be, I would agree that it would be best if you could put these things away somewhere, OP.

simba

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:45 am

Can you call the mom before and ask her to take a few of her children’s toys along as the ones you have are off limits.

rmbg

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 9:56 am

Are there any toys that you are ok with them playing with? If you can give them some things that are ok it will make it easier to stay away from the other ones. Shabbos is long, they need something to play with.

sky

Fri, Aug 16 2019, 10:13 am

Or don’t host them.
I think I am respectful of other people’s property as are my older children. But putting young children and their parents in such a situation is unfair.
For example if I was staying in such a house can I guarantee I’ll use the bathroom or be sleeping (at night) and my 2 or 3 year old won’t touch? It’s physically impossible.
As someone who has stayed in difficult accommodations kids wise I wish the host would have just not hosted as my Shabbos was nightmarish.