She didnt realize it was a chillul hashem

amother

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:11 pm

Im changing a lot of details of this story but im so uncomfortable from this story I cant stop cringing .

Im a seamstress and my husbands Rosh Yeshiva from back in the day is making a wedding and his wife needed a gown. She told me her budget is $200. She cares and has good taste and self respect but NO money. In the past DH told me to make something up for her free of charge and I did. He told me to do it again this time and not pass up an opportunity to do such a chessed. I know he is right but its a very short engagement at a busy time for me and I just dont have it in me but was planning to do all the alterations for free. I sent her to someone who "brokers" 2nd hand gowns. There is a broad price range by this lady. A lot of very reasonable gowns and some very expensive ones. She brought me back 2 to see. One was under $200 and one was $350. I told her that she cant even compare that the one for $350 is in much better condition, much more beautiful and flattering and in the right color sceme for her family. I asked her to ask the broker to call the women whos trying to sell it and ask if she is willing to go down in price. She went back and called me and said the broker said no so she left it there but shes hoping the broker will call her back that she changed her mind. I called the broker this morning to offer to pay the $150 difference for the rebitzen and she chewed my ear off for half an hour what a chillul hashem she made. Shes like im a talented woman, I give up space in my house that used to be an apt I made money on, I give up my time and I do this as a chessed! Shes like I make soo little money on each gown and im pulled from both sides, sellers want more buyers want to pay less. She said I can be in 10 other businesses but I do this to help people and this is how I get treated. She was so upset over it. It was awful. I didnt even know what to say to her! This rebitzen had no idea she had done anything wrong and whats worse is that I advised her to ask for a price reduction. So many bad feelings now . Arg! Anyway she got asking price bec I paid the difference and she called back the rebitzen and offered it to her for "$200"

Jewishfoodie

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:14 pm

You're very special!

Let that woman vent. You get tons of s'char anyway, even more so because you were embarrassed. Grab the 'reward' and run..

You're a good person!

naturalmom5

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:18 pm

OP you're a better man than me Gunga Din

Last edited by naturalmom5 on Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

Chayalle

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:19 pm

Based on what I'm reading in your post (like you said, you changed details) I don't see how the Rebbetzin made a Chillul Hashem. I just don't see it.

So she does a Chessed, and it attracts people who can't afford it, so they try to see if it can work out, and leave it if it doesn't? That's the business she is in. I'm sorry if she thinks it should be otherwise. I don't see what's a Chillul Hashem about people trying to live within their means - that's a Kiddush Hashem in my book actually.

The lady may be doing a Chessed, but her opinion is very skewed.

You are very special for doing so much Chessed here. Hashem should reward you for your good deed and your tzedakah.

Last edited by Chayalle on Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Denim

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:21 pm

OP, that was tremendous.
And you got embarrassed in the process and stayed respectful- can you please give me a bracha? Give me a bracha that I should give birth to a healthy child this year, please?

amother

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:22 pm

amother [ Denim ] wrote:

OP, that was tremendous.
And you got embarrassed in the process and stayed respectful- can you please give me a bracha? Give me a bracha that I should give birth to a healthy child this year, please?

I give you a bracha that you should not only give birth to a healthy baby this year, but that your pregnancy should be easy and you should feel well the whole time. You should make it full term and have a smooth labor and delivery and you should have tremendous nachas iyh from your offspring !

116

amother

Denim

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:24 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Amen, Thank you.

chestnut

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:24 pm

I also don't see how the Rebbetzin made any Chillul Hashem and why this woman was ranting.
Kol hakovod, OP!

ShishKabob

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:25 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

You're very special!

Let that woman vent. You get tons of s'char anyway, even more so because you were embarrassed. Grab the 'reward' and run..

You're a good person!

This!
Mi Keamcha Yisroel!
Wow just wow

Skippy!!

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:25 pm

You did nothing wrong. If the lady selling the second hand gowns doesn't want to take best offers, she could tell the customers up front that she doesn't negotiate best offers.

asmileaday

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:28 pm

The rental women must have been overworked and took it out on you.

Your bracha was very heartwarming.

I admire people that try to live within their means.

Jewishfoodie

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Amen!!!!

(Hashem should answer OP's blessing to amother denim. That's what I mean, Hashem, I'm past that age.. OK?)

Last edited by Jewishfoodie on Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:34 pm; edited 1 time in total

ShishKabob

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:33 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Amen!!!!

Jewishfoodie, so are you giving an excuse tonight or are you ttc?

Jewishfoodie

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:42 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

Jewishfoodie, so are you giving an excuse tonight or are you ttc?

If someone comes up with a snarky enough answer, I might just be free to go out for sushi.. Very Happy

ShishKabob

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:43 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

Amen!!!!

(Hashem should answer OP's blessing to amother denim. That's what I mean, Hashem, I'm past that age.. OK?)

I know, I'm not so dense, even if I'm of Hungarian decent. Smile

I was just grabbing the bull by the horn, maybe it's an eis ratzon.
sorry op to derail.
Hashem should repay you with kindness in turn.

amother

Indigo

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 1:47 pm

Op can I have the same Brocha as well? You are amazing.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 2:05 pm

OP, that bracha brought tears to my eyes, and I'm not even ttc!

You are so, so very special. May Hashem reward you in everything you do.

Amalia

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 2:10 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

OP, that bracha brought tears to my eyes, and I'm not even ttc!

You are so, so very special. May Hashem reward you in everything you do.

Yes, this!

amother

Mauve

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 2:17 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

Op can I have the same Brocha as well? You are amazing.

Me too, please.
I'm blown away! Mi keamcha yisroel!
In this zechus you shoukd always be on the giving end & be spared from all tzaros!

amother

Wed, Aug 21 2019, 2:19 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

Op can I have the same Brocha as well? You are amazing.

Of course! Iyh same by you too! Smile

should be easy to conceive, smooth drama free pregnancy, labor and delivery. And iyh much nachas from your baby!