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How do you look Jewish??
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:56 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
I send my kids to chasidishe schools. They are not taught this.

I only hear it chanukah/purim time the "shlechta g-yim" wanted to kill the yidden...
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amother
White


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 4:59 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
I only hear it chanukah/purim time the "shlechta g-yim" wanted to kill the yidden...


That’s not what she was referring to.
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Stars




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:09 pm
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
We are Black and my daughter has been told she isn’t Jewish because of her skin color Sad I try my hardest to reiterate that Jews come in all sizes, skin tones, levels of religiousness but I can understand how hard it is when all of your classmates are white, teachers are white, rabbis are white, etc. I have to remind myself, too, sometimes.


That must be so so difficult. If I could be friends with you irl I would, and so would my kids. My kids are being raised not to care about exteriors and so far so good.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:11 pm
When I've recognized Jews, it isn't really by the way they look, I.e. features or hair color.
It's more of a certain vibe, their mannerisms and way of speaking. Sometimes they just look or seem familiar somehow, or remind me of another (Jewish) person I know. Obviously if it's just a random person in a crowd I don't get a chance to verify. But I was almost always right if it was someone I got to know over time, such a classmate in college or a new coworker.
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soap suds




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 5:45 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
I send my kids to chasidishe schools. They are not taught this.

Came here to say this. My kids never came home from school with this concept.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 6:05 pm
1ofbillions wrote:
I respect that so much! Kudos, OP.

If you send your children to a chassidish school, how do you deal with the “non jews are evil” indoctrination?


Didn't read the rest of the thread, but just yesterday my three year old was explaining to my husband that the "g0yim" that destroyed the Bais Hamikdash are bad, but the ones in the park are not.

It's not a Non Jews are evil indoctrination, it's just that when the playgroup teacher tells the stories of YT, it's not the Greeks, the Romans, the Egyptians. It's the g0yim. So the kids could have a hard time differentiating between the evil ones from the stories and the nice ones that live down the block.

You know the song about needing to be taught to hate? It's 100% true!
My two year old (same kid, it was just a while ago Smile ) saw the picture of Nissim Black on the cover of the Ami and she asked "Who is this Tatty?" same question she would ask if the picture on the cover is Simcha Leiner. I was waiting for her to ask about his skin color, but she didn't. So I didn't mention it either... At what point does a chassidish little girl start seeing black as the first point of reference when talking about a person who is black?
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 6:14 pm
Good question.
That story reminds me of one from several years ago, when I was sitting outside with my visiting little Israeli nephew who lives in a community where most of the Jews are typical chareidi Ashkenazim so that was all he had been exposed to at that point. Some African American teenage boys rode by on their bikes, and I got a little nervous with what he might say, because he was commenting or questioning about any passersby. But no, all he noticed excitedly was about the "big boys riding bikes!" Anything else such as skin color just didn't make an impression .
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my mama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 6:36 pm
My kids call people by the color of their shirt. So the black man can be white the white man can be Native American the red man is Asian and the yellow man is caucasian Smile
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amother
Olive


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 6:42 pm
my mama wrote:
My kids call people by the color of their shirt. So the black man can be white the white man can be Native American the red man is Asian and the yellow man is caucasian Smile


Mine too! She says "why is the grey girl crossing the street herself?" (Jewish Girl in grey coat)
"Look at that orange mommy! Her boys are green and red" (Hispanic or black I don't remember...)
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Wed, Aug 21 2019, 7:56 pm
My dh grew up very sheltered(not chasidish) and his mom didnt expose them"" to even their nonreligious cousins. So, my dh was at my aunts house and my irreligious cousin in shorts came and my dh thought she was not jewish!!

I am raising my kids to know that just bec they dont look jewish(to young kids, this probably means, no kippa, not dressing like us so woman wears pants/tank top ect...) there are some ppl who dont keep what we keep, but they are still jewish. I told them its called irreligious. Otherwise, yes, my kids would have said the same thing about irreligious kids. I think kids use their way of dress(external appearance) to judge.

I also taught my kids there are many different skin types but we are all created by hashem. I just told them there can be "bad" jews(like levi aron) and good jews, bad non jews (like those that want to kill us(palestinians...nazis...))
And most important, they shld never think that bec. Someone looks like them, they are safe....I just want my kids to be aware of all different types of jews (bec. I would be ashamed if they told an irreligious jew that hes not jewish like some chasidish kids called us not jewish) and I want them to be aware of stranger danger(even applies to frum jews).
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Aug 22 2019, 4:02 am
tigerwife wrote:
Could she mean that they dress Jewish/non Jewish?


How do you dress non jewish or non jewish when in relity its the yiddishe neshomo which makes us jewish and not the way we dress?

I definitely want her to dress tzniusdig but there are more jewish people who dont dress according to Rabbi Falks way of tznius and are still jewish and good people.
I dont want her to look down on any jewish person because of their dress code but yes emphasize the importance of tznius.
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IrenaFr




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 22 2019, 6:30 am
My mom and her sister (same parents ) looked totally different, sometimes people were saying- this one is a Jew and this one is a [gentile] . Then in Israel people were saying to her - you are not a Jew , stop lying. BTW her both parents looked totally like Ashkenazi Jew, and in Soviet Union suffered from it . She has blue eyes , round face, and has classic beauty , straight thin nose etc. Me and my husband made a genetic testing recently (was very curious about our ancestors ) , my mom is 100% Ashkenazi Jew Smile So you can never tell by the look .
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Thu, Aug 22 2019, 7:06 am
My older daughter (2.5) was very disappointed when my husband took her to see our newborn in the hospital nursery. She did not want the white one which was ours, she wanted a chocolate one because none of her friends have one.
In our community/MO day school we have black, Hispanic, and Chinese children. Nobody cares. Social standing is determined by something much more innate in personality (which I haven't been able to quite identify or master yet. Regarding the clothing thread, it's not quite that either, as my nebby kid is my best/very well dressed-to try to help and I have not succeeded)

Children's perceptions are usually the last thing you would think but perfectly logical to them.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Aug 22 2019, 7:51 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How do you dress non jewish or non jewish when in relity its the yiddishe neshomo which makes us jewish and not the way we dress?

I definitely want her to dress tzniusdig but there are more jewish people who dont dress according to Rabbi Falks way of tznius and are still jewish and good people.
I dont want her to look down on any jewish person because of their dress code but yes emphasize the importance of tznius.


I’m not sure why it’s confusing. To a seven year old who grew up in a neighborhood where all Jews wear yarmulkas and tzitzis if male, and wear longer dresses and sleeves if female, if a boy shows up bareheaded or a girl comes in shorts, it’s logical to assume they are not Jewish based on their lack of Jewish “uniform”.

If she grew up in a mixed community, she may still recognize familiar people from her Jewish school or shul and label them accordingly.

I think bias against people of color is a learned thing. I don’t remember ever discussing skin color with my toddler, and she is just as likely to choose a doll with black skin as a blond one. I don’t know what anyone here claims is an ashkenazic look- my daughter knows Jewish kids from white-blond to black hair with dark olive skin. I can’t imagine how she would pick up Jewish physical attributes. Imagining someone is not Jewish because he doesn’t wear a yarmulke is more likely (although just this morning she was singing to herself how some Jews don’t wear yarmulkes🤷🏻‍♀️).
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