Family complains nursing takes too long

amother

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:19 am

My baby likes to take his time feeding at my breast. I try to speed him up in different ways but he just takes his time and eats for half hour on average and sometimes more. My family (mainly my mother when she comes over, and some of my kids) get annoyed when the feedings take so long. What can I do? Take the baby off my breast early? That would feel wrong! He's 9.5 months old.

Lizzie4

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:24 am

My baby also nursed for a half hour at a time, every 3-4 hours. At 9.5 months, though he was eating solids already and didn't need to nurse that long anymore.

Are they annoyed because you go into a separate room and ignore them?
Or because you are on the couch/unable to help them?

amother

Cyan

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:24 am

Why are they complaining? Is it because you lock yourself in a different room? There's no reason to limit nursing time. It's not only about nutrients, it's also very emotionally beneficial to the baby. I don't understand the complaints, though. I've nursed a bunch of kids and no one complains about it.

amother

Blush

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

They are annoyed because you are sitting alone quietly in a corner ignoring them?

amother

Navy

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:27 am

Baby takes priority- I’d tell them sorry and acknowledge and validate their feelings and you can remind them it’s not forever but that this is how it has to be for now and you hope they can understand that (especially your mother who is an adult)

teachkids

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:30 am

For the kids, try having something special you do with them at that time- read a book, or play a game with cards you can easily hold or something. Give each kid 1 nursing session of your undivided attention.

For your mom- she's an adult, she can grow up and deal with it. "yeah, he's a slow eater but the Dr says he's growing nicely". By 9.5 months he's probably on a schedule and she can just not come while he's eating.

amother

Azure

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:32 am

It shouldn't take more than 10 minutes tops 15 minutes to feed a 9.5 month old baby. Maybe he takes long because your milk doesn't make him so full anymore. At this age, babies should be eating solids. Your mom though shouldn't have a say in this.
If your kids are complaining, they do have a valid complaint.

amother

Blush

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:34 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

It does take 30 mins to feel this baby - what 'should be' is not relevant.

ShishKabob

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:36 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

If your kids are complaining, they do have a valid complaint.

Maybe try to schedule the feeding times when they don't need your attention so much if it's possible. Like not during supper time, not when they come home from camp/school, and so on. Bhatzlocha

amother

Azure

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:36 am

Amother blush, If it takes 30 minutes for the baby to be full, she needs to consider supplementing and feeding the baby solids. It's not fair to the other kids. A 9 month old is not a newborn.

amother

Blush

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:38 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

If it takes 30 minutes for the baby to be full, she needs to consider supplementing and feeding the baby solids. It's not fair to the other kids. A 9 month old is not a newborn.

okay - so what if she had a newborn? then its fair to the other kids?

amother

Blush

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 9:45 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

Amother blush, when you have a newborn the older kids usually understand that it takes them longer to feed. The 1/2 an hour nursing stage shouldn't last too long.

If they understand (ie are told) that a newborn take 30 mins - then they can also be told that this 9.5 also takes 30 mins.

In both situations - mommy is nursing now.

Did anything OP post make you think she's starving her child of other foods?

She's a veteran mom.

gibberish

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 10:30 am

I think you need to explore why you need to nurse so often and for so long at 9.5 months. Your older kids need you.

1. Does your baby need more solids? Is he/she not feeling satisfied with your milk?

2. Is your milk drying up? Do you need to supplement with formula?

3. Is your baby nursing for comfort and not really hungry? Can you use a pacifier after you nurse?

I know several families that arranged to give their baby 1-2 formula bottles per day at the busiest times so they can focus on the older children. You can still be great mom by nursing about 75% of the time, and bottle feeding the other 25% of the time.

amother

Amber

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 10:33 am

If the complaining is bothering you and your looking to do something about it, maybe breastfeed morning and evenings and pump the other feedings (should be a lot less than half hr) and let the baby hold the bottle, which most 9.5 month olds can easily do. If you just want validation that it's normal and that you can ignore your kids complaints then here you go : you do what u gotta do this baby deserves his/her time just as the others and a half hr hour every 3-4 hours isnt a lot...

Rappel

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 10:36 am

Well, that's nobody's business. But you can set yourself up for some interaction during that time: wear a cotton poncho, or a cotton skirt, over your shoulders to keep yourself modest, and t you can play with your other kids - floor games like magnetiles or Legos are great for this time - while baby gets to nurse

amother

Cyan

Thu, Aug 22 2019, 10:39 am

gibberish wrote:

Who said it's so often? Op didn't write how often she nurses. Babies nurse for emotional reasons too, not only for calories, and that experience is just as valid. Solids and pacifiers won't provide that, if that's what he needs. I think we need a little more information. It's really not unexpected for the baby to linger: when he wakes up from a nap, when his mother comes home from work, when he's going to sleep, when he's not feeling well.