Don’t know how to deal with this

amother

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 12:18 pm

I went through something traumatic a few months ago. My boss knew about it and after it was over I took off two weeks to digest and recuperate. They needed me back at work and everyone thought it would be good for me to get back into it so I did but the truth is I never properly dealt with it and it’s all crashing down on me. I’m completely overwhelmed with life and barely hanging on. I went to a therapist and we concluded that my work is my biggest source of stress right now and I need to tell that that I need to slow down and take some time. I had been wanting to do that anyway as I have a lot on my plate and just can’t keep it all together while dealing with work, which is a very intense and stressful job. That night, I wrote an email to my boss baring my heart and telling him I’ll finish my workload but I need time off and to cut my hours. He responded right away asking if I can hang on till the next week when some vacationers would be back. He also said he would talk to me in the morning. It’s at least a month later and he never spoke to me. He has continued assigning new work to me as well. Completely disregarded what I wrote. Every day I get asked to take on new work by other employees and I don’t know what to say! I’m fuming that after devoting myself to them for 15+ years they have no respect for my needs because they aren’t properly staffed and can’t manage without me.

I made myself vulnerable once and I am too broken to have to keep fighting and begging for what I need. Also my boss went away for over two weeks now so there’s no one to talk to, even though I’m not inclined to.

What should I do?

amother

Hotpink

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 12:27 pm

You shouldn't have let another month go by without anything changing. But what's done is done.
Can you easily find another job in the same field that is p/t? How badly do you need this job? The answers to those questions would have a lot of bearing on how I'd procede.

amother

Bisque

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 12:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Regarding the bolded - you say 'no, I'm sorry I'm working at my capacity now".

Let your boss deal with the complaints.

amother

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 12:53 pm

This job gives me a lot of flexibility because of the length of time I’ve been there. I would never find a job like this. It’s this or nothing and I’m not ready to give it up right now. I just need a chance to regroup and for things to settle down.

singleagain

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 1:48 pm

Are you able to take disability leave? I might be mistaken but I believe there are laws that are supposed to allow time for this sort of thing.

trixx

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 1:58 pm

Assume he forgot and just firmly stand up for yourself without baring your soul. Very factually. I need to take time off now.

amother

Oak

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 2:00 pm

If you fall under any of these categories you may be eligible for family leave from the government without risk of losing your job.

Paid Family Leave can be taken
1. to care for a family member with a serious health condition.
2. to bond with your child within 12 months of your child's birth, adoption or foster placement.
3. to care for your family while a family member is deployed in the military

See below for more details on #1 in NYS.
https://paidfamilyleave.ny.gov.....-care

amother

Fri, Aug 23 2019, 2:26 pm

I looked up pfl but didn’t think I belong under any category. It’s not even about the money to them I think. They just have too much work and not enough people to do them. They’re desperate so my boss is pretending all is fine and dandy.

amother

Cerulean

Sat, Aug 24 2019, 11:08 pm

He's probably not pretending.

Whether it makes you feel good or not, your mental health is not in the foremost of his mind. It's up to you to tell him what you can or can't do. Don't ask; just inform. And no need to share excessively or emotionally. That won't work to your benefit.

imorethanamother

Mon, Aug 26 2019, 4:25 pm

I have people in my job who went to their doctors and got medical leave based on stress. It's disability and it's temporary, and I would do it.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Aug 26 2019, 5:54 pm

Ha. Twice I suffered from an backside fissure. Lo aleinu velo aleichem. If you have ever experienced this, it's not for nothing that the Gemara says that a person with bowel issues does not go to Gehenom.

The first time my doctor approved me for disability, no question. If I tell you I couldn't sit in a chair it would be no exaggeration. I won't go into further details, but morphine would have been welcome.

The second time I tried a doctor that was closer to home. (Because if we went to the doctor by car I had to lie down in the back seat.) She said, "Oh, I don't see why you can't work." Lady, you obviously have NO IDEA!

Not every doctor is understanding, is all I'm saying. But OP I hope yours is! Do what you need to do before cholilah your body decides for you, that's what mine did!

simba

Mon, Aug 26 2019, 9:20 pm

I am sorry for all you are going through.
Reply to that email where he responded that you will talk in the morning.
Tell him this is urgent and needs to happen now.
Ask him to confirm receipt.
You are your only advocate.