Secret monies | Imamother

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 10:07 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Before we married I told Dh that we should each keep our individual accounts and then start a new joint account. He was ok with that. How does it affect our relationship? I don’t think it does. But it does mean that our gifts to each other are real gifts. if we pool our funds and he buys me a gift from our pooled funds, then the gift isn’t really from him since I’m paying for half of it. And the same is true if I buy him a gift. So we buy gifts from our individual accounts, not the joint.

Also if either of us doesn’t approve or agree with the other’s purchase, it’s ok if that person pays for it out of his or her own funds. Let’s say I want to buy a frivolous designer bag that dh thinks is a waste of money or dh wants yet another electronic toy that I think is a waste of money. This way we don’t argue about it.

In any event dh is primary beneficiary on everything so it’s not like I’m hiding anything from him.

Same here. I love that we don't feel entitled to criticize eachother for "frivolous " spending because it's either his money or mine and we respect that. I don't think it would be like this if we only had a joint account