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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
naomi2
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Fri, Sep 06 2019, 1:49 pm
In Brooklyn where I live, you say good shobbos to the people you know. If someone says good shobbos to me and I dont know them I do a double take to see if I know them, stare a little harder. By the time I figure out the the person is just a friendly out of towner I'm already a few steps away and it would be super weird to turn back then and say good shobbos back. Not rude just a different social norm.
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fleetwood
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Fri, Sep 06 2019, 3:38 pm
In Brooklyn we all say Good Shabbos to strangers,it's ridiculous to think otherwise.
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amother
Cerulean
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Fri, Sep 06 2019, 5:01 pm
I don’t greet people if I’m not sure that they know who I am.
I hope they don’t take it personally.
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amother
Khaki
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Fri, Sep 06 2019, 5:04 pm
I can understand feeling weirded-out with a random person greeting/talking to you. Where I am from, people don't generally talk to each other randomly unless it's to complain about something ... like a long line up, slow customer service, etc.
In the 'hood' (frum), yidden generally want to know your business (where you're going, who you know, who you are related to....etc). If you grow up with it, it's kind of accepted to expect this, albeit not everyone does it. I am not comfortable with it just because I am a very private person and feel like it is a violation of my personal space.
I was brought up that it's basic derech eretz to greet people and be polite. STARING is not polite. In my books, it is downright PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. It actually annoys me especially when there are those frumka leah types giving the up-and-down stares. I actually challenge them outright by asking what the issue is or give a 'do I know you?'. Usually stops them dead in their tracks as they NEVER expect it. Maybe they don't get it or think it's ok to do but I don't put up with it.
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 06 2019, 6:08 pm
naomi2 wrote: | In Brooklyn where I live, you say good shobbos to the people you know. If someone says good shobbos to me and I dont know them I do a double take to see if I know them, stare a little harder. By the time I figure out the the person is just a friendly out of towner I'm already a few steps away and it would be super weird to turn back then and say good shobbos back. Not rude just a different social norm. |
The difference is I would say good shabbes in response with a smile, and then try to figure out if they know me
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 06 2019, 6:09 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote: | I can understand feeling weirded-out with a random person greeting/talking to you. Where I am from, people don't generally talk to each other randomly unless it's to complain about something ... like a long line up, slow customer service, etc.
In the 'hood' (frum), yidden generally want to know your business (where you're going, who you know, who you are related to....etc). If you grow up with it, it's kind of accepted to expect this, albeit not everyone does it. I am not comfortable with it just because I am a very private person and feel like it is a violation of my personal space.
I was brought up that it's basic derech eretz to greet people and be polite. STARING is not polite. In my books, it is downright PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. It actually annoys me especially when there are those frumka leah types giving the up-and-down stares. I actually challenge them outright by asking what the issue is or give a 'do I know you?'. Usually stops them dead in their tracks as they NEVER expect it. Maybe they don't get it or think it's ok to do but I don't put up with it. |
Yeah so sometimes I think if I should say something like that or thank you instead of them or sorry or whatever. It takes some courage though...
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