Any suggestions how to change language

asmileaday

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 4:46 pm

Playing games and watching videos weren't work. They loved it! You don't have to do the suppertime thing if you feel it's too pressuring.
Don't ask them to turn on the English cd. You put it on as if it's for your own entertainment.
After hearing it enough they'll get drawn to it.
Also there's no magic change overnight. It's years and years of slow change.

qwerty4

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 4:46 pm

I don't see how it's fair to a kid to be educated in a Yiddish speaking environment, and be penalized for using that same language at home, I.e. 'you can only get ice cream if you repeat that in English.'
If your child is exposed to the language long enough, he'll know it well enough. No need to push it down his throat, especially if you're not being consistent. His friends likely are all Yiddish speaking, and this is the environment you chose for him.
I might be reading this wrong, but this doesn't seem as a case where you just want your kids to be fluent in the language, but rather have a deep negativity to Yiddish and want a solely English speaking home. That is your prerogative of course, yet cannot instill a negativity to a language they are surrounded in and in a community where this is the primary language. Of course, wanting your kids to be fairly fluent in addition to their primary mother tongue is a completely different point of view.

Last edited by qwerty4 on Thu, Sep 05 2019, 4:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

keym

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 4:50 pm

My sister who lives in Israel really wants her kids to be fairly fluent in English. She arranged pen pals for her kids in America.
Snail mail, email, fax, whatever. It really made her kids more interested in English because they really wanted to become better friends with this pen pal from this exotic place- LA.
BTW, they were regular frum BY girls so there was no hashkafic problem.

amother

Sienna

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 5:29 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hear. Actually no english is not my first language.

English isn't your native language. You don't speak it at a native level. You can't count on yourself to pass on the necessary language skills.

Your kids are going to need A LOT more exposure if you want them to be fluent in English. Books, movies, songs - research shows a person gains the most fluency when they absorb the language through different means.

Are you comfortable speaking English with them at home? Do you speak English with your husband and with friends? Or does English feel forced to you?

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 6:14 pm

My kids hear the language a lot. Yeah, I do talk in english most of the time and I do have lots of english speaking friends too.
I dont feel from my side that I push myself or it's a struggle for me to talk in english.

They do go to yiddish speaking cheider so obviously they are surround with yiddish speaking!
My neighborhood is a real mix , we have litvish, yashivish, and chassidish . My kids only surrender themselves with the yiddish speaking kids on my block . The best thing would be if I placed them in english speaking yashiva ,problem was that where I live there really isnt anything that would suit us .
there's only really chabad style, or very yashivish. It would be more torture if I placed them in a place where they literally dont belong just because of the mother wanting a different language... they are super happy with their yashiva and so am I!
yep, it's tough! in the past my area used to be english speaking ppl only. It turned into very satmer.. so basically they are my sons friends. The litvish boys play separately .

It's kind of TOUGH" this situation.

qwerty4

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 6:27 pm

I can understand how switching the environment would be difficult, but in that case maybe you shouldn’t be fighting it that much. Your kids will be proficient in English if they are exposed to it at home, even if they are not forced to do a 180 between their friends and home.

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 6:48 pm

My family and my Dh family are both yiddish speaking , cousins are yiddish speaking as well , just one of my sisters send her daughter to english speaking school so her daughter picked it from just being enrolled in this invirenment .

comes out my kids will only be exposed with my consistency. I didnt really start any activity, or games, charts ect. (Charts I wouldnt) I just need to start taking action. I know it sounds from the little things in life that I'm making an issue out of, but for me it's big. 🙄 I'm really sad about it!
Am I sounding to hard on myself? I feel it's taking over some contentment in my life . feeling like my family I created wasnt my imagination but turned out this way ... somehow I did make peace with the surroundings , just I feel its important for me to bring in the language.
I'm already starting to stress about it... what do I do?

behappy2

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 7:02 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I would do trauma therapy for whatever is behind your issue with Yiddish. In addition YOU take English classes ! I do think kids pick up a ton from videos. I had foreign students who told me they literally learned English from watching TV (I guess public school environment helped too).

qwerty4

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 7:33 pm

You’re not too hard on yourself, you’re coming across as too hard on your kids. A ten year old does not need a tutor nor continuous reminders about his language when he is perfectly entitled to speak the language of his environment.

Again, if your goal is to have them learn a fluent English, that makes sense. But to reject the language you are raising them with and insist that English be their first language is unrealistic and unfair.

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 7:41 pm

I Absolutely don't voice anything or reject my birth language to them. Of course I have past issues wish I dont share with them, they dont have to know about, I keep telling my kids that both are important to know and I encourage them that it's great to know more then one language. I would never turn down the yiddish language to them just the opposite, I try to talk to them how good it is to own more languages .

amother

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 7:45 pm

Can u just help me be clear if I'm right or wrong to demand it from them? I still want to do what's right. My past might be a trigger and that covers me or blindfolds me in discovering what's really fair and right to do about the kids

dankbar

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 9:32 pm

No it's not fair to demand they only speak in English because they might be prompted to only use Yiddish from cheder/ authority plus all their friends/classmates/neighbors are Yiddish speaking & they might suffer socially if they speak in English among their Yiddish speaking friends.
It's a good thing that they hear English, so that they are exposed to the language & will pick it up. You can't force it. ( unless you move to an exclusive English speaking community or switch them to such a school, you cannot demand this. )
Also if you want them to be English speakers & not Yiddish speakers you need to start conversing with them in the primary language you want them to speak, when they first learn to talk.
Now you at least know that they understand the language because they are responding to you.

qwerty4

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 9:46 pm

I would be the first to agree with you that our boys need to be fluent and comfortable with the English language, and some posters have given you excellent ideas as to how to expose them to it. But beyond that point, there is no need to pressure them into using the language primarily if your goal is for them to be bi-lingual.

amother

Sat, Sep 07 2019, 10:33 pm

Perquacky I'm reall depressed and not myself since I came across hurtful to you.
I really hope you forgive me. It was really not my intentions to do so, could be I was one tract minded and thought that the word mazeldiga shoe was used all over but I came to realize that I was wrong and I know yael is on top whom she let's on here , I'm really not that person to hurt , I know how it feels since I myself was a lot shut down from lots of ppl in my life and therefore I'm extra careful to only c the positive in ppl. this time it came out very inexpressive, hope u forgive me. I'll work extra hard from now on.

amother

Sat, Sep 07 2019, 10:36 pm

It's difficult since we have here ppl from all over and we dont know anyone, makes it tougher in how we respond , sometimes can be a language error, or not having expressed properly ... yet It did make me be aware to think more ... love u all!