Unmotivated 5 yr old

solo

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 1:16 pm

My 5 yr old son is super sweet smart and fun. But also he has zero drive. If it was up to him he would spend all day in pajamas doing nothing. He enjoys family outings, mealtime, playing with friends, playing outside... but it takes so much coaxing to get him to dress or get ready or come to the table...
when I need him to do something like take a bath or get ready to leave the house it is such a struggle. When it’s not urgent and I don’t hafta make him do it he just doesn’t.
Chaim come lets do homework. And he dropped to the floor and refuses to budge.
Everyone upstairs it’s bathtime and he’s stomping his feet and whining about why he has to.
lets get dressed quickly so we can go to the park. And he’s rolling around on his bed.
His teacher last year was concerned he doesn’t know alef bet. Because when he reads the letters he’ll glance at the row n then repeat back what he remembers. He’s not interested to look at each letter individually
I had him evaluated by the boe and he was denied all services. He has the skills just not the motivation to stand up or walk a straight line. He slouches drags his feet n trips over himself. His articulation is often unintelligible because he doesn’t open his mouth wide or move his tongue around.
The scary thing is he reminds me of me. My preferred activity is still sitting on the sofa. It’s amaizing that Made it through high school as a b student because I seriously never tried. Eventually I dropped out of college and now I struggle to earn a living. I remember my parents frustration as I literally sat at the table playing with wax all evening
I wish I could help my son. I feel like I should be able to better understand his issue and how to deal with it because it’s my issue too. But I just don’t k ow what to do. Verbal praise, prize charts, natural consequences... nothing has made a difference

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 1:23 pm

1. Sounds like he has a hard time with transitions. Google ideas for that.
2. Sounds like he has poor muscle tone and/or motor planning difficulties. Google that too and see if it sounds familiar.
3. Often kids with #2 also have sensory processing difficulties. In particular, it sounds like he's a low registration type of child, with low arousal. See if those match up to what you're seeing.

Kids don't tend to lack motivation, but they may be missing some of the skills and abilities needed to meet the demands being placed on them. Please try to reframe this from lack of motivation to lack of skills needed to succeed in certain areas. I work with kids. I've met many kids who can't do things because they're missing underlying skills. I've never met a child who has all the skills and chooses not to perform.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 8:50 pm

My 5 year old was receiving some services for low muscle tone. She's similar in some ways. But her issues are transition so we prep her well in advance about what's about to come, and I find she works best with step by step directions. So if I want her dressed instead of saying go get dressed we have to leave. I'll say go get your clothing, now take off your pajamas, now put on this etc... I think sometimes we just expect a lot of little kids and they need a little more help from us. He also sounds like he can definitely use ot, pt and speech and I would have him reevaluated for that.