S/O I hate cooking

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S/O I hate cooking

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How did you feel about cooking when you were little?

My mom chased me out of the kitchen because I bothered her.

19%

[ 51 ]

My mom was easily distracted, too busy, didn't have time to teach me.

15%

[ 42 ]

My mom baked cookies with me, but that was it.

[ 25 ]

My mom let me help prep basic dishes.

23%

[ 62 ]

My mom taught me all the techniques needed to make amazing food.

10%

[ 28 ]

Cooking with mom was one of the best memories of my childhood.

[ 20 ]

Other, please explain.

14%

[ 40 ]

Total Votes : 268

Ruchel

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 5:26 am

Mom learned recently, dad cooked but didn't show me.
My children are shown by us and participate regularly
I don't know if it's the difference but BH my oldest often cooks for herself and even her siblings and my second is starting to make things

amother

Papaya

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 5:43 am

Nobody ever taught me how to cook anything beyond fried eggs.
I had to figure it all out by myself when I left my parents' home and my first attempts at cooking turned out horrible. I remember inviting friends for dinner one time and they visibly struggled to stay polite and eat a bit to spare my feelings. But over the years I got better and better. I still prefer experimental cooking and inventing my own recipes over following instructions. These days, my experiments turn out almost always tasty. Dh likes my cooking. He's a great kitchen experimentator himself. The kids are more into fast food drowned in ketchup. I hope they'll grow taste buds one day.

Raisin

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 5:50 am

My mother was never terribly interested in cooking, nor did she have the time. I am still impressed to this day how she makes shabbos: 20 minutes on wednesday, 20 minutes on thursday and maybe another hour on friday. (including homemade challa) Her shabbos food is actually pretty good - that is the only time she cooks meat. The rest of the week it is soups, salads, rice...

She also worked full time and had a very long commute so as teenagers we all took turns making supper for the family, and cakes/kugels for shabbos. (she never ever baked - we never had anything like a cup measure in the house!). My father never cooks at all, except basic meals for himself. So I learnt to cook pretty early in life. Cakes, cookies, family suppers.

I love cooking and baking. I like trying new recipes, and I get a lot of compliments on my food. I have big crowds each shabbos so I get a lot of practice. I make fresh nutritious meals most nights of the week as well. Even if I am alone I think I would still cook for myself.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 7:57 am

My mother hated cooking, worked full time and did as little as needed. She always cooks in bulk and freezes. As I got older, I would help her in the kitchen, but it was never anything major. After I got married, I enjoyed experimenting, and I think my kids eat more variety than I did as a kid because of it.

watergirl

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 11:56 am

I chose 'other' but only because I read the choices too quickly. Cooking with my mother was a wonderful memory. So was calling her on the phone erev chag and talking through what I was making.

My mother taught me what she knew and always let me help. Her style was very basic but delicious. She was a busy working mom and a very simple lady so we lived on one pot dishes. Chicken, carrots, potatos all in one pot and it was a wonderful dinner. I took what I learned from her and built on it. Her only spices were what I call "the great triumvirate of Ashkinazic cuisine" - garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika". She was not a dessert maker other than mandel bread and hamentashen for purim. She did not make kugel other than potato kugel for one night of chanukah. But I was always welcome to learn and help her, so I know what to cover, what not to. What temp and what time to put in the oven for. How to make soup golden and clear and amazing. How to get a nutritious and delicious meal on the table after working a full day and doing homework with the kids at the same time. I miss her.

(ETA - I loved watching cooking shows and my mother was usually willing to let me try making a few things I would see the pros do!)

She did not have her recipes written down and I never asked her how to make a few of her specialties and now its too late. So if anyone knows how to make salmon souffle or her special meat loaf... I would love to know! I never mastered her brisket so I make a totally different one but thats ok.

Aaaaaand who knew how triggered I would get by this of all threads? Is someone cutting onions?

My kids come into the kitchen with me and help me make dinner. And my teen stands and writes as I cook so she can do what I do. I hope my kids have warm memories like I do.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 1:47 pm

My mom only let me make cookies/cakes/things that weren't such a sacrifice if I messed up.
I'm the oldest of a lot, so if she let me cook something and it messed up, well there goes a lot of wasted food and money and time.

nchr

Wed, Sep 04 2019, 2:24 pm

Both of my parents are great cooks. I never had any interest in cooking and I still don't.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 12:35 pm

weasley wrote:

As a kid I had alot of responsibilities that as a kid I shouldn't have had. Such as doing my own washing and making food for shabbos.

She taught me how to do it all and I wasn't really resentful but when I got married I kinda felt burn out like I needed a break and it started creating negative connotations with cooking.

With time I realized I really have a skill with it and people always go crazy over my food but it's hard to bring any excitement to it and always feels like a chore.

My experience was similar to yours - I knew how to cook Shabbos by the time I was 10...in addition to cooking, I did laundry, I watched my younger siblings, bathed them, dressed them, put them to bed.....

I definitely was resentful of my responsibilities as a young girl, though I rarely voiced that (when I did, the repercussions were dreadful.)

However, interestingly I don't feel burned out as an adult. As a married woman with my own home, the freedom to make my own choices, together with my domestic abilities (part of it developed, and part of it is my personality) is very satisfying to me. I choose what I want to make, what I want to serve, etc...and I enjoy rotating favorites and trying out new recipes. I nurture my family and myself.

I don't have to do things my mother's way...that's what makes the difference to me.

amother

Tangerine

Thu, Sep 05 2019, 12:46 pm

My mother has an eating disorder and was never much interested in food, so she didn't cook much at all and what she did cook was meh. My father is a decent cook and he taught me the basics, but I got really into cooking as a teenager and started reading lots of cookbooks, watching Food Network etc. I love to cook. I also love to eat, probably a little too much. I do have a lot of body image issues and don't have such a healthy relationship with food. Not surprising given my mom's eating disorder.

My ILs are terrible cooks and they also had a very rigid approach to meals (you're gonna sit here however long it takes until you eat). They always complained about how their kids were such picky eaters. Since I got to know them and have eaten their food, well, duh! I'd be a picky eater too if that's the food I was forced to eat as a kid lol. Since marrying me, my husband has expanded his palette greatly, including foods he though he hated, because his parents prepared them improperly (think oversteamed broccoli with zero seasoning and the like).

amother

Ivory

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 4:57 pm

I have to select "other". My mom wasn't an "amazing" cook. She was a competent cook. She grew up in a poor household and learned to cook during the austerity period in EY in the late 40s and 50s. What she knew was basic, thrifty, plain food, nothing fancy, frilly or frivolous, and the menu was limited. White flour, no whole wheat. Lots of canned foods including soups. Limited seasonings: salt, pepper, paprika, garlic powder, lemon juice. Period. Also, she wasn't especially fond of cooking. (Neither am I.)

As a little kid I watched her cook, "helped" her make cakes by mixing cake batter and licking the spoon and bowl, and later took notes on things like broiling liver over the gas stovetop and how high to fill a pot--and copied down her recipes into my own notebook. She was more than happy to let me cook when I asked, and by the time I was in high school I was cooking for Shabbos on a regular basis in lieu of my regular Shabbos chores. Back then I'd rather cook than clean. Today, not so much.

Once I had that grounding I could create variations on her themes. Some things she did I have never done, like put noodles or rice in my chicken soup. Different times--she needed to make it more filling, I needed to make it less fattening. I'm also B"H in a far better financial position than she ever was. so I can afford fancier ingredients.For example, I put in more and more varied veggies in soup--some of which were not readily available back then and some of which she simply never thought to add because they're not in the classic recipes. She was very much a by-the-book cook: if it wasn't in the recipe, it didn't go in--whereas I use a recipe as a springboard from which to launch my own ideas.

So while my mom didn't teach me everything I know now, she taught me everything she knew then.

amother

Puce

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 8:55 pm

I was thinking of starting a thread on this very topic. My mother taught me to cook and bake at a young age. I could cook an entire shabbos meal when I was ten. My mother is a great cook but usually served basic food all week.

I don't have much patience to have my kids help in the kitchen. They love to help but I feel it slows me down, or they'll ruin it and food will go to waste. Example I give them a piece of dough when I bake challa but by the time they're done with it it's gross and not really edible. I'm usually in a rush and want to just get the food in the pot or oven and done. I know how valuable it is to let them help but I just dont have the patience or energy.

lcraighten

Mon, Sep 09 2019, 2:37 pm

My mother let me do whatever I wanted in the kitchen. She was thrilled to have any sort of help Smile

She was not a baker at all, so that I just learned myself and she taught me a little bit of cooking.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Sep 10 2019, 9:58 am

I don’t remember cooking much with my mother. As the oldest, I had a lot of babysitting and cleaning responsibilities. Somehow when I got married, I just knew what to do and turned out to naturally be a pretty good, so I’m lucky there. One of my DS is an avid cook at age 11. He can make an entire gourmet dinner and probably even shabbos on his own. He has been cooking since he was 4. Even though he is a bit (ok, a lot!) messy and adds to the stress in the kitchen, I try to let him do whatever he wants to enhance his culinary growth since it’s such a great gift to have. I’m supposed to have minor surgery before succos and we are planning on having him make all the fresh stuff with my supervision.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Sep 10 2019, 10:06 am

I was a caterer and ran a restaurant. I no longer enjoy cooking. It’s a means to an end.

sequoia

Tue, Sep 10 2019, 12:17 pm

andrea levy wrote:

I was a caterer and ran a restaurant. I no longer enjoy cooking. It’s a means to an end.

That’s sad...

dancingqueen

Tue, Sep 10 2019, 12:36 pm

My mother is a decent cook and revels in domestic activity. She was always dying to get me in the kitchen to help but I wasn’t so interested. I always chafed under the expectation that it’s a girls/woman’s job to cook and clean (serve) her family. Now that I have my own family I wish I had spent more time with her though. I guess it’s complicated.

tichellady

Tue, Sep 10 2019, 12:43 pm

My mom is a decent cook but never enjoyed cooking or food. She let me cook whatever I wanted growing up and I am so grateful for that! I like to cook but I have toned it down a lot since having a child because I just don’t have as much energy and stamina left by the end of the day to devote to cooking/ plus I am always getting interrupted so prefer recipes that don’t need lots of watching and assistance)

IrenaFr

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 8:57 pm

My mom was a good cook but she didn’t teach me to cook , I just helped her whenever she needed help for preparing a big party etc. So I was like a chef helper . I peeled , cut , mixed and sometimes cooked the simplest dishes. Sometimes she was busy at work so I cooked for me very basic food.

Chana Miriam S

Sat, Sep 14 2019, 11:12 pm

sequoia wrote:

That’s sad...

Not really. I’ve just moved on. I still cook well and my table is delicious. But I don’t cook recreationally anymore.

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