Spin off until what age for father give his daughter bath

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:11 pm

Or help daughter get dressed close zipper...see see c

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:30 pm

My DH bathed our daughters as long as they still needed help (if asked, ie either of us would do it). He would still zip a dress for dd12 and would probably still go in to help if dd8 had a problem/needed help in the shower (not sure he would have done that for our older dd at this age-very diff personality when it comes to these things).
He would never go in or help if they said they didn’t want him to (ie they preferred mommy because of privacy issues) and I think that is the key! As long as they are ok with it their is nothing wrong with a (normal, healthy) father helping his daughters in this way.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:40 pm

I think it very much depends on the child, and how mature she is, and take the cues from her. One of my DD started developing quite young, so she wouldn't appreciate dh, or even me, as much as stepping into the room before she's completely dressed before she was10.
OTOH, her younger 10 year old sister, is showing zero signs of maturity, physical or otherwise, and while I don't actually bathe her, and dh for sure doesn't, she would have no self-consiousness at all if one of us would step into the bathroom while she bathes to grab something.
I always wondered how I would know these things, and I see that by observing my girls, I instinctively know what they're comfortable with, and where they prefer privacy.

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 1:47 pm

Closing a zipper is different from helping bathe. I would help a teenage daughter close a zipper and I don't think either of us would have a problem with it at all, but we'd both be very uncomfortable if chas v'shalom she needed someone to help her bathe.

ra_mom

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:08 pm

Baths until they need it. A 7 year old who often bathes by herself but still needs someone to take care of her some nights can still have Daddy giving her a bath on occasion.

Dh helps all us girls with back zippers. Age is not a factor.

Last edited by ra_mom on Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Plum

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:09 pm

Closing up a zipper is something that can be done at any age IMHO.
If it's a long one (the ones that legit go down to your tush) like a robe then she can zip the bottom half and put it on after, still having enough room to get it on and have any zip the upper half.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:33 pm

I have the same question just with ds and I. Till what age?

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:40 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

I have the same question just with ds and I. Till what age?

It’s appropriate until he is capable of bathing himself - then it’s inappropriate, except for exceptional circumstances.

simba

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 2:46 pm

By the time they are old enough for it to be inappropriate they are usually showering themselves.

Ruchel

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:09 pm

When they are ill at ease and/or able to do it fully

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:32 pm

3 or else it might lead to incest.
I don't want my husband having inappropriate thoughts about my daughter.

I am just kidding. Bath, I have no idea, my girls were very independent and showered from like seven or something-DH is also not home until 8pm and comes home completely beat.

Zippers-forever. My girls are post HS and whoever is available closes the top of the zipper where you can't reach-and if you see a bit of bra strap- ooh. They are all hanging in the laundry room drying anyway.

1091

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 3:57 pm

I can’t remember when we stopped but it likely coincided when they no longer needed help after using the bathroom. It was a natural stop.

When a child has a question about something on their body now, the same relations (gender) parent deals with it.

Last edited by 1091 on Sun, Sep 15 2019, 7:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:02 pm

1091 wrote:

When a child has a question about something on their body now, the same relations parent deals with it.

Sometimes the filter doesn't make sense.

1091

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 4:15 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Sometimes the filter doesn't make sense.

So funny.

The male parent deals with the male children. Female parent female children

amother

Firebrick

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:10 pm

1091 wrote:

So funny.

The male parent deals with the male children. Female parent female children

True, but it's so not fair!!!
I only have girls and I get stuck with everything!!!!
When we go on an outing (aquarium/museum/amusement park) DH is an expert at sitting on a bench watching the bags while I have to take everyone to the bathroom.
(Not saying that it would be appropriate for him to take DD to the men's room or for him to go to the ladies-there is no other option, it's just not fair!!!)

amother

Blush

Sun, Sep 15 2019, 5:52 pm

sorry but are you serious?

so have him pick up the slack on something else in a different area, overall it can even out in the big picture

and at least you can send out whoever is done to go wait with him

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