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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
A PSA from my teenage daughter and me - sheitels
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 2:33 pm
Amarante wrote:
I hadn't thought about this for years but I had a teacher in high school who would embarrass me by putting a huge metal clip in my hair or bangs because she felt it was hanging in my eyes. Thanks for unblocking that terrible memory LOL LOL

As for the original post, it's hard to believe that this mannerism is so distracting that a student's ability to learn and listen is impacted negatively. Looking back I had teachers with all kinds of personal mannerisms and the mannerisms weren't a negative. In fact, often they made them more loveable as we would have a lot of fun imitating their expressions. My mother and I had the same teacher (we went to the same high school) and my mother and I would laugh about how the teacher was still doing some of her unique things 30 years later LOL

Treading into the minefield lightly but I think there is a rule of reason in terms of LH. People talk about people all the time - discussing and observing people is one of the most interesting aspects of the human experience. Great art - books, films and art is about the observation of the human condition. There are so many things which are dependent on discussing other people - how does one actually operate in the real world if one can't discuss aspects of a person.

As long as such discussion and observation isn't mean spirited or done to harm in some way, why is it bad - especially in terms of private discussions between family members.


This wasn't a private discussion between family members. It was a dramatic PSA by OP. It's terribly crucial that all teachers must pin their hair back with a bobby pin because it distracts all the girls. I wouldn't think twice about a private discussion. I wouldn't know about it because it's private.

I think it's chutzpah to tell the teachers how to adjust. Life isn't always going to change to accommodate precious DC.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 2:48 pm
Squishy wrote:
This wasn't a private discussion between family members. It was a dramatic PSA by OP. It's terribly crucial that all teachers must pin their hair back with a bobby pin because it distracts all the girls. I wouldn't think twice about a private discussion. I wouldn't know about it because it's private.

I think it's chutzpah to tell the teachers how to adjust. Life isn't always going to change to accommodate precious DC.


There was a private discussion between family members. There was a conversation between a mother and a daughter about her teacher. You weren't privy to it.

Separate to that conversation - was OP's PSA - the tone of which rubbed a lot of people (myself included) the wrong way.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:05 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
There was a private discussion between family members. There was a conversation between a mother and a daughter about her teacher. You weren't privy to it.

Separate to that conversation - was OP's PSA - the tone of which rubbed a lot of people (myself included) the wrong way.


The conversation is no longer a private conversation. Isn't that obvious?
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:08 pm
Squishy wrote:
The conversation is no longer a private conversation. Isn't that obvious?


I don't follow. The conversation between the mother and daughter was a private conversation. OP provided us with one detail - what her daughter told her. The conversation that followed - was totally private.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 3:09 pm
Squishy wrote:
The conversation is no longer a private conversation. Isn't that obvious?

How is that any different than most other threads on here with the OP talking about private conversations?
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 6:00 pm
amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:
Do you think its a reasonable expectation that a teacher should come the classroom as free from personal distractions as possible?


Nope. I think your expectations are unreasonable. Everyone has issues, problems. Do you suggest she make sure to have a therapy session right before class so your precious and perfect child isn’t distracted? What if she demands same from your kid? No distractions. No wearing hair in a certain way. No black shoes,
This is way over He top
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amother
Navy


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 6:01 pm
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
I’m an adult and this annoys me to. I’ve been having a conversation with one too many women who constantly have to flick their bangs away from their eyes. It’s an every second thing that is sooooo distracting. Like why do Jewish women feel the need to have bangs so low down??


For the same reason you choose to wear yours how you like it. Would you like someone telling you how to wear yours,
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renslet




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:11 pm
This actually reminds me, years ago I had a black and white striped top. I always walk around the room while I teach and that day a student raised her hand and when I walked over to ask what her question was, she looked at me and very respectfully said " your top and the stripes and your moving around. It's making me dizzy."
I stayed at the front of the class that day.
I never wore that top again to school.
When she graduated, she came over to me and thanked me, she said I realized what you did for me and I am blown away how much you demonstrated concern for each student.
I'm not saying that every complaint is valid but let's remember that student are humans and treat them as such.
If a friend would find it distracting if I wore my shaitel a certain way, I would try not to flick the bangs too much. Why not give our students the same courtesy.
Obviously within reason but it's not so difficult and the students remember the teachers who were thoughtful and respectful.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:27 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Nope. I think your expectations are unreasonable. Everyone has issues, problems. Do you suggest she make sure to have a therapy session right before class so your precious and perfect child isn’t distracted? What if she demands same from your kid? No distractions. No wearing hair in a certain way. No black shoes,
This is way over He top

If this is a Bais Yaakov school then chances are strong they do demand the same from the kids. No loose hair, among plenty of other rules, and those are just kids.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:45 pm
amother [ Navy ] wrote:
Nope. I think your expectations are unreasonable. Everyone has issues, problems. Do you suggest she make sure to have a therapy session right before class so your precious and perfect child isn’t distracted? What if she demands same from your kid? No distractions. No wearing hair in a certain way. No black shoes,
This is way over He top


It’s not about distracting the kid.

I really truly feel it’s not professional to stand up in front of a class, and work with students one on one while regularly adjusting your hair.

It’s not a mannerism issue. It’s totally expected that a person would move hair out of their face/eyes. It’s not a quirk.
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polka dots




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:00 pm
Didn’t read whole thread..... but...
I had teachers who used to lick the corner of the page before handing it out (like when counting a few from a big pile)

I had teachers who spit when they spoke and if you say in the front you could get some.

I had a teacher who’s shoes clicked really loud as she walked around the classroom.

I never thought I need to mention it to someone. Yes it’s annoying but you need to get to live with other humans.as a teacher it’s nice to think about the students. But I don’t think it should be such a big issue for the student.
Also once an issue is pointed out it can start bothering you. So if a girl never paid attention to the head flip and now it is pointed out to her, it might start bothering her.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:25 pm
amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

Helping kids doesn’t mean paving the way so that everything is easy. It’s helping them gain perspective and coping skills to deal with life’s difficulties, big and small.
.


This.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 9:32 pm
iluvy wrote:
I am a teacher (not in a Jewish setting). Yesterday I had a major presentation to make with significant implications for my career. I spent the ten minutes before the presentation in the bathroom tweaking and adjusting my sheitel to make sure it would stay in one place and not fall in a funny way during my presentation. I was thinking about how all the extra labor (not to mention $$$$) a frum married woman has to do in the workplace to look presentable - natural hair is much easier to deal with; you can't just tuck a sheitel behind an ear as easily. A man or woman who doesn't cover her hair could have spent that time reviewing the presentation or just relaxing.

Ok are you serious? A wig is SO much easier to maintain than natural hair! You just put it on your head! Even when it needs to be washed and styled it can be outsourced, and that only needs to happen once in a while. You think women with real hair don't have to adjust it in the bathroom?
I will grant that men have a much easier time with a much wider range of acceptability.

But yes, back to your point, yes professionalism demands this attention and being presentable is not an undue burden.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Thu, Sep 19 2019, 9:58 pm
Not even most Chabad school. But you know what they say. 94% of statistics are made up.
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