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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
DD6 constanty crying about school, I need help!



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 25 2019, 9:00 am
DD (almost)6 was at an amazing nursery from age 2 and loved going to school, she used to complain on days off why we cant have school every day....she had a circle of friends and was very outgoing in in a fine way. Last year she went to a new school but all the other kids in her class had been together since nursery she really struggled with the adjustment, making friends, many more kids in class...had ups and down but was ok. (I happened to have worked at the same place so she saw me during the day)
This year her class is in a different building with the big school and the first week and a half she was fine but then she started to complain that the day is too long and she misses me too much (it normal) and I just tried to support her that it is normal till she gets used to it...we also read some mindful mantras and do the sign "I will be ok", I taught her to give herself a squeeze with both hands if she is missing me and imaging it is me giving her a squeeze, I prepared a surprise goody envelope that she may only open up on the way home where I write a nice message and put a treat.
I am really trying but am at my wits end, I have tears nearly every minute that she is hoe morning and evening, she says she is happy with her teacher and friend it is only that she is missing me.
Yesterday she wet herself in school and was very upset, she has NEVER had such an incident in school, she is complaining a bit about the toilet that one the flush doesnt work and sometimes they don't have tissues (school life!) but I feel that this incident was more likely emotional because she has been crying in school for the last few days.
Any ideas, I keep myself calm on the outside with loads of hugs but I am going insane!
She is an EXTREMELY anxious child and generally struggles with changesbut the 2.5 years in the nursery it never showed up as much.
Any Ideas?
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, Sep 25 2019, 9:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
DD (almost)6 was at an amazing nursery from age 2 and loved going to school, she used to complain on days off why we cant have school every day....she had a circle of friends and was very outgoing in in a fine way. Last year she went to a new school but all the other kids in her class had been together since nursery she really struggled with the adjustment, making friends, many more kids in class...had ups and down but was ok. (I happened to have worked at the same place so she saw me during the day)
This year her class is in a different building with the big school and the first week and a half she was fine but then she started to complain that the day is too long and she misses me too much (it normal) and I just tried to support her that it is normal till she gets used to it...we also read some mindful mantras and do the sign "I will be ok", I taught her to give herself a squeeze with both hands if she is missing me and imaging it is me giving her a squeeze, I prepared a surprise goody envelope that she may only open up on the way home where I write a nice message and put a treat.
I am really trying but am at my wits end, I have tears nearly every minute that she is hoe morning and evening, she says she is happy with her teacher and friend it is only that she is missing me.
Yesterday she wet herself in school and was very upset, she has NEVER had such an incident in school, she is complaining a bit about the toilet that one the flush doesnt work and sometimes they don't have tissues (school life!) but I feel that this incident was more likely emotional because she has been crying in school for the last few days.
Any ideas, I keep myself calm on the outside with loads of hugs but I am going insane!
She is an EXTREMELY anxious child and generally struggles with changesbut the 2.5 years in the nursery it never showed up as much.
Any Ideas?


I just have to say that if she is an anxious child and the bathrooms are not serviced properly, that can be causing her a tremendous amount of anxiety. A child who is generally very anxious does not differentiate between a single, minor issue and one that effects her every second of the day. As a parent of a highly anxious child, I can only imagine that my daughter would spend the entire day worrying that she might need the bathroom and then it wouldn't flush. Or she'd need to wipe herself and there were no tissues. Don't underestimate this issue.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Wed, Sep 25 2019, 10:08 pm
Jade
Sound alike u have experience with anxious little child
Can u please share some tips as have one as well?
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 25 2019, 11:47 pm
Did something happen in the bathroom?
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 1:05 am
as far as the bathroom goes, you could send a small pack of kleenex that she can carry in a cute little purse to the bathroom just in case (AND email the admin that toiletpaper needs to be available!).

But for the bigger picture.... my daughter at that age loved when I communicated with her teachers. Maybe you could try "your teacher gave me a special message for you!" at home and "your mother gave me a special message for you!" at school just by one line daily emails with her teacher. At school she knows you're thinking about her and at home she's smiling that her teacher thought to give you a message for her. (daily doesn't need to be the whole year just now while the anxiety is still so high).

Hatzlacha!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 2:19 am
https://www.bookdepository.com.....D_BwE

https://www.bookdepository.com.....D_BwE

Two really great books that helped me a lot with my anxious DD.

Social stories and "what if" role play helps a lot, too. If you can rehearse with her things that might go wrong, and help her find solutions, she'll feel better prepared to tackle a day filled with uncertainty.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 2:55 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yesterday she wet herself in school and was very upset, she has NEVER had such an incident in school, she is complaining a bit about the toilet that one the flush doesnt work and sometimes they don't have tissues (school life!) but I feel that this incident was more likely emotional because she has been crying in school for the last few days.

I'd be upset if I had to spend hours each day in a place without a functioning toilet or without toilet paper. All the moreso if I were a 6-year-old.

Provide her with her own pack of tissues or flushable wipes.

I'd also visit the school, and check out the toilets myself. If they don't work, ask when they will be repaired, as it is unhygienic to have a school full of children with poor sanitary services. Get other parents involved and write a letter or meet f2f with the teacher or the principal.
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