Changing your name, disrespectful?

yo'ma

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 12:26 pm

I've seen threads where people ask about changing their name for one reason or another and I don't like bringing it up there, so I'm bringing it up here. Do you think changing ones name is disrespectful towards ones parents? Parents with hashems help gave their child life and besides everything that they learned from them, the only thing they take from home is their name. It's something specific that the parents thought hard and decided together, probably, and some with meaning behind it. I personally don't love my name, but I wouldn't change it for many reasons, but one reason is is because I think it's disrespectful to my parents.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 12:30 pm

yo'ma wrote:

It does hurt me that my son changed his name but I love him no matter what his name is. It is just hard to remember to call him by his new name. But I did get used to the fact that he has a new name.

amother

Purple

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 12:37 pm

If the parents are living - I think its respectful to have a conversation with the parents explaining why the change is being made.

Ruchel

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 12:39 pm

I would agree if theyused another of their names and could justify it. But I woud use the name I use. Of course if you named your child Adolf or Brynleagh it is understandable but then I'd rather they stayed close

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 12:45 pm

Funny story- I dont like my name. At this point, I'm so used to it, and I dont have much of an opinion anymore. But my second name is a beautiful name.
When I was in second grade, I decided that I'm being called by my second name. So for example if my name is Chaya Sara (it's not), and I hated the name Chaya, I decided that my name was Sara in second grade. Teacher called my name first day of school "Chaya Friedman?" (not my last name) and I said "here! My name is Sara".
By parent teacher conference, my parents came up to the teacher and were like "hi we're Chaya's parents" and my teacher goes "huh? Whodat?" It took them a while until they figured out what was going on!

amother

Cyan

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 1:10 pm

So it's not quite the same, but I started using my Hebrew name instead of my English name simply because I never liked my English name. So I didn't change it, per se, it's still the name my parents gave me, but they always called me by my English name, and yes, they felt insulted and disrespected by the change initially. They're used to it now.

happyone

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 1:12 pm

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

It would do my kids no good. I can never remember anyone's name anyway... Tongue Out

love this! thought im.the only one

dorothy1

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 1:14 pm

If it’s a variant of their actual name then I don’t find it disrespectful at all. I have my kids their whole names . I picked my favorite nickname (or not ) but they can change if they want .

I have a friend who’s parents named her Shmuel. They were reform. After a grandpa. She asked if she could change it , and her rav told her she has to ask them reshus. They said no. She goes by her English name despite being quite yeshivish

ShishKabob

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 1:53 pm

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

It would do my kids no good. I can never remember anyone's name anyway... Tongue Out

haha! Also, another factor, if they look like everyone else in the family, it won't help them either. Hey! Aren't you a Rosenberg from Anybodys Street?

agreer

Thu, Sep 26 2019, 4:58 pm

I don't think it's disrespectful at all.

You are changing it because of current circumstances. Your parents then did not know what would come up in your life. They didn't know if you would hate your name, have a MIL/DIL with the same name, need a segula, etc.