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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
I wish I understood better



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 8:36 pm
It's that time of year again when most are pouring their hearts out davening. I've become very cynical the last few years and bothered by what we are davening for. I can't help but think to myself that so many are crying to hashem asking for yeshous, refuos, health and bracha, yet the people that are not davening (and don't even know it's rosh hashana) seem to get the same exact result. So do we have hashems ear by davening to him? It doesn't look like we do. Can anyone offer a rational perspective on this?
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 8:50 pm
Maybe I have the wrong way of looking at it. But I view davening on Rosh Hashana like I’m standing in a courtroom in front of the Judge of the world. I don’t know if you have ever been to court. But I have, only as a juror and it was very tense and serious. I could only imagine what the defendant felt like sitting there in front of the prosecutors and the judge. I imagine myself as the defendant begging to be acquitted . Admitting my wrong but begging for forgiveness and the promise of never committing the crime again. I ask for Hashems kindness and rachamim and that he should let me off the hook this time. That includes , no punishment, no more suffering and pain etc. It’s also the day representing Hashems Malchus. And I view myself again , as standing before the king with awe and fear and begging for his mercy and kindness. I use my imagination so that I can actually picture myself in that role. Then I leave it up to Him to decide whether I’m worthy , whether I have enough zechusim to be granted all that I’m asking for. And I leave with a lighter feeling knowing that it is all in Hashem’s hands and he will grant me all that is best for me. Sometimes I’ll be challenged (and I’m being challenged right now as we speak) but that challenge is a good thing. It may look bleak but I am viewing it as an opportunity for self growth. Self growth is a good thing. In the end this challenge is the best thing for me as difficult as it may be, but I am growing because of it and that’s what life is supposed to be, continued growth.
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Water Stones




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 9:04 pm
I’m not OP, but this is great and helps me, too!



thunderstorm wrote:
Maybe I have the wrong way of looking at it. But I view davening on Rosh Hashana like I’m standing in a courtroom in front of the Judge of the world. I don’t know if you have ever been to court. But I have, only as a juror and it was very tense and serious. I could only imagine what the defendant felt like sitting there in front of the prosecutors and the judge. I imagine myself as the defendant begging to be acquitted . Admitting my wrong but begging for forgiveness and the promise of never committing the crime again. I ask for Hashems kindness and rachamim and that he should let me off the hook this time. That includes , no punishment, no more suffering and pain etc. It’s also the day representing Hashems Malchus. And I view myself again , as standing before the king with awe and fear and begging for his mercy and kindness. I use my imagination so that I can actually picture myself in that role. Then I leave it up to Him to decide whether I’m worthy , whether I have enough zechusim to be granted all that I’m asking for. And I leave with a lighter feeling knowing that it is all in Hashem’s hands and he will grant me all that is best for me. Sometimes I’ll be challenged (and I’m being challenged right now as we speak) but that challenge is a good thing. It may look bleak but I am viewing it as an opportunity for self growth. Self growth is a good thing. In the end this challenge is the best thing for me as difficult as it may be, but I am growing because of it and that’s what life is supposed to be, continued growth.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 9:20 pm
It's true that our year's outline is written up on RH. But RH is more than that. It's about our relationship with Hashem, and thinking about what it means to live a live of service to Him, to connect meaningfully, respectfully, and lovingly.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Sep 26 2019, 11:08 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Maybe I have the wrong way of looking at it. But I view davening on Rosh Hashana like I’m standing in a courtroom in front of the Judge of the world. I don’t know if you have ever been to court. But I have, only as a juror and it was very tense and serious. I could only imagine what the defendant felt like sitting there in front of the prosecutors and the judge. I imagine myself as the defendant begging to be acquitted . Admitting my wrong but begging for forgiveness and the promise of never committing the crime again. I ask for Hashems kindness and rachamim and that he should let me off the hook this time. That includes , no punishment, no more suffering and pain etc. It’s also the day representing Hashems Malchus. And I view myself again , as standing before the king with awe and fear and begging for his mercy and kindness. I use my imagination so that I can actually picture myself in that role. Then I leave it up to Him to decide whether I’m worthy , whether I have enough zechusim to be granted all that I’m asking for. And I leave with a lighter feeling knowing that it is all in Hashem’s hands and he will grant me all that is best for me. Sometimes I’ll be challenged (and I’m being challenged right now as we speak) but that challenge is a good thing. It may look bleak but I am viewing it as an opportunity for self growth. Self growth is a good thing. In the end this challenge is the best thing for me as difficult as it may be, but I am growing because of it and that’s what life is supposed to be, continued growth.




You have an interesting perspective. What's difficult for me is that I have trouble equating hashems "courtroom" to a modern day courtroom. When we make an argument, whether in court, school, to a friend or family member, we expect to be judged on the merit of our argument. If I want a change in my child's school, I can call the principal and make a rational argument.
It's different with hashem. Human logic and reason doesn't apply. We know often the wicked thrive and the righteous suffer. So what exactly do you say to hashem on rosh hashanah? Hashems "system" is all upside down and backward by our way of thinking. Certainly there are people greater than I who hashem is giving hardship to. There are people that don't bother davening or asking hashem for anything who get all their needs met. We don't understand hashems system of merit, so how do you rationally communicate with hashem? You can have sincere regret for all the bad you may have done, while genuinely promising to do better. Is that the key to have a good and blessed year? I certainly don't think so, nor do I think there is any criteria we can do to help ourselves in hashems system that we don't understand. Does this make sense?
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amother
Aquamarine


 

Post Fri, Sep 27 2019, 9:18 am
I don’t daven because you’re supposed to or for what you’re supposed to.

I don’t even daven much of the formal davening. I just talk to Hashem because it’s good for me. It’s what I need. I need to be able to talk to Him about my needs, desires, blessings, fears etc.

Don’t daven what you’re supposed to because you're supposed to. Talk what you feel like talking about. It’s about our renewed relationship after all. What’s a relationship if the language is foreign to you?
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 27 2019, 10:00 am
I get a lot of chizuk from people who are in difficult situations but rising to the occasion and keeping their faith. E.g. there are people with ALS - Tammy Karmel, an academic talmid chochom in EY who still teaches and is an artist, someone in Monsey who is now dedicating his life to learning and taking tests with the Dirshu program.
This works for me. I don't expect it to work for everyone.
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