NERVOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

amother

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 3:21 am

I am extremely nervous about the yamim noraim.
I am not much of a shul goer and this is the first time I’ve been in shul (and no, my sons bris doesn’t count! Because we weren’t there for the davening we just came for the bris and had the seuda there) for davening etc.
I live in bp and my husband told me that my seat is paid for and I’m going no if’s ands or but’s.
Thing is
I daven in English only (didn’t grew up frum so yeah)
And I daven slowly because I like to take my time to connect.

I’m nervous that I’m gonna miss important parts and that I won’t be sure if I heard 30 blasts or so and definitely nervous that I’m going to get lost.
And I’m too shy to ask where we at in the davening because I don’t like the look I get.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

amother

Lime

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 3:38 am

Go at your own pace. If you have a few minutes to look at the machzor today, you may feel better prepared for what's going on.

Don't worry about missing shofar blowing. You can just stop wherever you are to listen.

I have nothing but admiration for you. It's hard to follow davening on the yamim noraim if you aren't in the swing of things. Good for you for trying.

(And if you really aren't comfortable in your shul, do look for another place to daven from here on in.)

Have a wonderful, happy and healthy year.

JoyInTheMorning

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 3:59 am

First, relax. Nobody says everything, and nobody is watching you. Whatever you do is great. You can say it in Hebrew; you can say it in English. You know, of course, that it will be understood.

Regarding shofar blowing: Every shul I know does the first 30 blasts at once, when shofar blowing starts. There are three groups of blasts:
3X Tekiah Shevarim-Teruah Tekiah (12 blasts)
3X Tekiah Shevarim Tekiah (9 blasts)
3X Tekiah Teruah Tekiah (9 blasts)

And there you are, you have heard 30 blasts and you have fulfilled your obligation! The whole thing from first to thirtieth blast takes around ten minutes. And even if your mind wanders, if you are there in shul and you intend to listen, you're okay.

There is stuff to say after each group of blasts. It is not obligatory, so if you feel it might interfere with your hearing the next group of blasts, just don't say it. You can scan the English with your eyes, if you have a translated machzor.

The other 70 are a bit harder, but no worries; you have already fulfilled your obligation. It depends on your shul's minhag. Some shuls do the next group of 30 blasts while people are davening the Amidah (what is normally referred to, somewhat loosely, as Shemoneh Esrei). Everyone stops at designated places, and then the shofar blower blows the shofar. Most do that next group of 30 blasts during the repetition of the Amidah. And then, the final group of 40 right after the repetition is completed.

I agree with the previous poster that said that if you have a bit of time, looking through the machzor today would be helpful.

Some shuls periodically read out the pages that the shul is up to. That is a big help. Otherwise, just go at your own pace. It's fine.

notshanarishona

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 4:20 am

First , why is your husband pressuring you to do something if you don't feel ready?
Second , a lot of people are unfamiliar with the davening . Reading through it before hand can help and also use an artscroll machzor. But even with that every shul has slightly different customs and doesn't follow exact same order . See if your seat is next to someone you know so that you can look over their shoulder and check the page . Otherwise just go at your own pace and try to stand when they stand , etc.

southernbubby

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 5:00 am

There are machzorim that tell people when to sit, stand, clop their chest and so on. There may be seforim stores open today.
If you have time, there may be YouTube videos or Torah Any Time videos that are about the davening. Chabad has a machzor companion and Chabad.org website may have a crash course on how to do this.

PinkFridge

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 6:57 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

First of all, this isn't megilla. If you don't hear everything you don't have to hear it again.
Second, I remember going back to shul after years at home. And yeah, b"H I can read Hebrew fluently but b"H for the Artscroll siddurim and Stone Chumashim.
Oh, and during the piyutim, I.e the poems that are added in, if I can't keep up I say them in English, or read them quietly if it's not a point where I can otherwise talk.

I hope you find yourself surrounded by warm women who will be thrilled to help you find the place. And that you just enjoy the ambience of being in shul. It really sounds like you have a handle on what connecting to Hashem through tefilla is all about. Kol hakavod!

Mothers

Sun, Sep 29 2019, 10:47 am

Follow along as much as you are able, and don’t worry about missing things. The shofar will be impossible to miss.

Remember that there are many different minhagim and ways to daven. If you do something different, people will most likely assume that you have a different minhag. Do as much as you can and don’t worry about others, who are generally focused more on their own davening than on you. And don’t be shy about asking for help. You can say you are not familiar with minhag/nusach in this shul, which is a perfectly reasonable explanation (if any is needed).