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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
Psak not to fast and so sad
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 10:02 am
My husband just got off the phone with a rav who told me that the Halacha for me is no fasting this year. Just sheurim. I’m really really sad about it. I’m not pregnant or nursing and I feel great, I just had major surgery 5 months ago and still considered a choleh. Rav said no even though dr said yes. I’ve never not fasted on Yom Kippur and it feels so wrong to me even though I know it’s not. I know it’s stupid but I’m regretting even asking the shaila....
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sub




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 10:04 am
No not stupid. Understandable feeling. However this is your mitzva. A special one.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 10:09 am
Same here. Please read the replies to this thread: https://www.imamother.com/foru.....72066

It's made me feel a lot better.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 10:20 am
You didn't get a psak not to fast! You got a psak to do shiurim, which is not considered to be not fasting.

Remember, when you make Hashem's will your will, Hashem will make His will your will. Hastlacha this year!
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 10:43 am
I'm 5 weeks post-partum and exclusively bf. I also have a 3 year old who I have to run after and feed and entertain. I WISH I can get a heter to do shiurim. I've been stressing out about this fast since the baby was born.
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Cmon be nice




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 10:50 am
Same Torah that says to fast now says not to fast. Every time there is a bris on shabos the mohel is being mechaell shabos in public but the torah says in that case its not only allowed but its a mitzvah. here you, you are being mikaim the mitzvah of watching your health
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 11:22 am
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:
I'm 5 weeks post-partum and exclusively bf. I also have a 3 year old who I have to run after and feed and entertain. I WISH I can get a heter to do shiurim. I've been stressing out about this fast since the baby was born.


Can you:
1) Pump and store today
2) Have some formula on hand
3) Have a family member come so that you can rest
4) Have your husband daven shacharis at home so that he can watch the 3 year old while you rest
5) Send your husband today to buy a new toy that will entertain the three year old?
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amother
Maroon


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 11:33 am
southernbubby wrote:
Can you:
1) Pump and store today
2) Have some formula on hand
3) Have a family member come so that you can rest
4) Have your husband daven shacharis at home so that he can watch the 3 year old while you rest
5) Send your husband today to buy a new toy that will entertain the three year old?


1) I pumped the past week leading up to tomorrow
2) I have formula as backup
3) nope. I live a 7 hour drive to the closest family member
4) 3 year old is super attached to me, so he will just be all over me and everyone will just be annoyed and frustrated
5) I got a bunch of toys and activities. I hope he'll entertain himself a bit.

It's gonna be MURDER because I'm always hungry and thirsty! I got kali tzom pills. I dont know how to use them though. Hope they work!
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 11:38 am
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:
1) I pumped the past week leading up to tomorrow
2) I have formula as backup
3) nope. I live a 7 hour drive to the closest family member
4) 3 year old is super attached to me, so he will just be all over me and everyone will just be annoyed and frustrated
5) I got a bunch of toys and activities. I hope he'll entertain himself a bit.

It's gonna be MURDER because I'm always hungry and thirsty! I got kali tzom pills. I dont know how to use them though. Hope they work!


Then whatever happens today, don't stop eating.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 12:35 pm
Op, you’re still gonna be very hungry.
Doing shiurim all day is hard.
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amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 1:56 pm
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:


It's gonna be MURDER because I'm always hungry and thirsty! I got kali tzom pills. I dont know how to use them though. Hope they work!


Have you spoken to a rov? I got a heter to do shiurim as soon as I feel like I’m not functioning, and I’m in a similar situation as you.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:01 pm
amother [ Maroon ] wrote:
I'm 5 weeks post-partum and exclusively bf. I also have a 3 year old who I have to run after and feed and entertain. I WISH I can get a heter to do shiurim. I've been stressing out about this fast since the baby was born.

I am shocked you weren’t told to do shiurim. I have never heard of such a thing for a breastfeeding woman- speak to a different Rav
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:03 pm
OP, as someone who has done shiurim for at least the past 15 years, you are NOT eating on Yom Kippur. Your mitzva now is to fast this way. I was explaining to one of my kids yesterday that doing shiurim specifically means that you ARE still fasting, because you are not eating or drinking enough at close enough intervals for it to be considered eating or drinking.

Just some tips....
Drink Gatorade, it’s better than water
Eat something with protein in it- cheese, a nut mix....
Have everything ready before the fast starts tonight, so you don’t have to scramble.
Rest (sleep, sit on the couch have, etc) as much as you can. If you are getting tired or weak or whatever, PUT YOUR MACHZOR DOWN.
Don’t exert yourself.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:22 pm
tichellady wrote:
I am shocked you weren’t told to do shiurim. I have never heard of such a thing for a breastfeeding woman- speak to a different Rav

Please don’t advise people to go rov shopping.
I have fasted with a 4 week old it’s hard but I lived through it.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:26 pm
OP, doing shuirim throughout the day is still considered fasting, hence the shuirim!
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:27 pm
Tichellady, I'm also post partum and didn't get a heter to do shuirim. Nor did I ever hear of getting a heter just because you're breastfeeding. There's always formula.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:37 pm
amother [ Mauve ] wrote:
Please don’t advise people to go rov shopping.
I have fasted with a 4 week old it’s hard but I lived through it.


We will have to disagree. I am not concerned about the mother I’m concerned about the baby and the milk supply. I don’t consider it Rav shopping to find a Rav who has more knowledge about milk supply
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 2:40 pm
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
Tichellady, I'm also post partum and didn't get a heter to do shuirim. Nor did I ever hear of getting a heter just because you're breastfeeding. There's always formula.


Halakha should never force you to give your baby formula ( and I’m not anti-formula at all, I just think it’s ridiculous to expect a nursing woman to give her baby formula so she can fast).
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 3:00 pm
Tichellady, why is it so ridiculous to give formula 1 day of the year? We're allowed to sacrifice a bit.
If baby refuses or can't have formula, that's a different story.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 08 2019, 3:56 pm
amother [ Sienna ] wrote:
Tichellady, why is it so ridiculous to give formula 1 day of the year? We're allowed to sacrifice a bit.
If baby refuses or can't have formula, that's a different story.


I feel bad that this is really a different topic than the op started but basically I don’t think it’s fair to demand that from a nursing mom. She doesn’t have to sacrifice her baby on Yom Kippur. Not everyone is comfortable with giving a baby formula. This is an interesting article in the topic https://www.google.com/amp/s/m...../amp/

Anyways you don’t have to agree with me. I feel strongly about this but respect that other people feel differently
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