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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts
What to give for bas mitzvah gift for classmates
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Oct 23 2019, 8:13 pm
In our school, the girls make bas mitzvah parties.
Any suggestions what to buy the girls? I would like something Jewish related and around $10.
Thanks!
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 23 2019, 8:24 pm
The Namery has personalized adorable things for very reasonable prices.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Oct 23 2019, 11:57 pm
Siddur/tehillim?
initial/name pendant?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 24 2019, 6:09 am
We bought bath products, 5 euro per thing.
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Yummymummy3




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 24 2019, 6:31 am
One of those siddurim with a zipper and handle.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Thu, Oct 24 2019, 6:35 am
Since it's the beginning of the year, you can get the parents together on this. Everyone contributes something. (I think $10 is low unless that's what bar mitzvah boys also get in your community.) Pool the money, take 10 percent off to give to the school's tuition fund, and then use the rest to buy gift certificates to a Judaica shop for each of the girls. Now you're finished with gifts for the year, and each girl gets a substantial present.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 24 2019, 6:48 am
I really wonder how people are supposed to pay tuition and gifts for every kid in the class. 10 dollars low? multiply it!
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BS"D!!!




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 16 2019, 6:58 pm
We collected less than $100 from each girl (I don't remember exact amt) and then used it to buy gift certificates to a seforim store. They gave us gift certificates for $100. Then as each girl became a Bas mitzvah they received a nice card from the class with the gift certificate.
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L25




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 16 2019, 7:23 pm
I like the idea of getting all the parents to pool together. I see no reason to take 10 percent and give it to the school though?
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Sat, Nov 16 2019, 10:07 pm
I'm so happy that my daughter's school arranges bas mitzvah gifts. The girls get a choice of a gift card to a local Judaica store, a local jewelry store, or an Amazon gift card. We didn't give DD a choice and told her she's getting the Judaica gift card. The parents basically end up paying for their own daughter's gift but we don't have to worry about getting presents for 60-something girls or end up with lots of cheap junk.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 6:27 am
The school took ten percent??????????,
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 8:01 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
Since it's the beginning of the year, you can get the parents together on this. Everyone contributes something. (I think $10 is low unless that's what bar mitzvah boys also get in your community.) Pool the money, take 10 percent off to give to the school's tuition fund, and then use the rest to buy gift certificates to a Judaica shop for each of the girls. Now you're finished with gifts for the year, and each girl gets a substantial present.
[u]


What's this 10% about? Why take off money?
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 8:32 am
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
[u]


What's this 10% about? Why take off money?


If they had gotten money, they would have given ten percent to tzedaka. They are learning chessed as they grow into adulthood. It's pretty standard in my community that kids give tzedaka from bar/bat mitzvah money.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 8:40 am
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
If they had gotten money, they would have given ten percent to tzedaka. They are learning chessed as they grow into adulthood. It's pretty standard in my community that kids give tzedaka from bar/bat mitzvah money.


Bat/Bat mitzvah money, yes but not from gifts
When my girls were bat mitzvah the school did the parents chipping in thing and got each girl a beautiful jewelry box wood and silver
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 11:10 pm
amother [ Crimson ] wrote:
If they had gotten money, they would have given ten percent to tzedaka. They are learning chessed as they grow into adulthood. It's pretty standard in my community that kids give tzedaka from bar/bat mitzvah money.

How is it teaching them OR fulfilling their mitzvah of maaser if it's skimmed off before the gift is given? Anyway pretty sure a gift card is not subject to maaser the way cash might be.

I like the class pool idea. It's going to result in a much more meaningful gift than 20 small things, and will cost less per person, in addition to saving effort.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 11:26 pm
seeker wrote:
How is it teaching them OR fulfilling their mitzvah of maaser if it's skimmed off before the gift is given? Anyway pretty sure a gift card is not subject to maaser the way cash might be.

I like the class pool idea. It's going to result in a much more meaningful gift than 20 small things, and will cost less per person, in addition to saving effort.


The girls voted to donate ten percent of the pooled money to the school's scholarship fund and chose which store's gift certificate to buy. If that's not something that would work in your child's school, don't do it. No one is stealing from children here.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 11:40 pm
Oh I missed the idea of the girls choosing it. That changes everything. Beautiful choice on their part.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 11:48 pm
seeker wrote:
Oh I missed the idea of the girls choosing it. That changes everything. Beautiful choice on their part.


You didn't miss anything. In my earlier post I only wrote about what we actually did, not the process. I have to say I was surprised that amothers were offended at the idea of tzedaka. Thanks for letting me clarify.

Getting back to the original question, I do think one nice big gift is better than lots of small ones. Also, this system ensures that the girl whose family makes a big splashy event doesn't get more or better presents than the girl whose family makes a more modest celebration.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 19 2019, 12:11 am
I wasn't offended, I just thought it was weird and misguided. If it's the kids' choice that changes the picture entirely.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 19 2019, 4:48 am
I didn't give anything from what my daughter received
I also wouldnt let the school take.
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