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Never know what to say



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 07 2019, 12:43 pm
At dinners, or work events, or parties for my husband's work, he likes when I come. But I never know what to say and how to initiate conversation.
I end up just standing and looking pretty and saying "it's so nice to meet you!" Then the conversation ends...
Is that ok?
Am I expected to carry conversation?
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amother
Black


 

Post Thu, Nov 07 2019, 12:47 pm
I think very few people love small talk. But you can become better at it. Try complimenting or asking people what their role is. Or inquiring about a recent trip or conference or whatever you are aware of. Or just commenting about the weather and asking about weekend plans.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:08 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
I think very few people love small talk. But you can become better at it. Try complimenting or asking people what their role is. Or inquiring about a recent trip or conference or whatever you are aware of. Or just commenting about the weather and asking about weekend plans.


That's very scary for me (I'm an introvert)
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That's very scary for me (I'm an introvert)


I hear you and I'm an introvert to. But If I'm already having to be out and about. I try to speak up somewhat

My mom always suggest asking lots of questions
You don't have to talk much just listen and really listen.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:35 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
That's very scary for me (I'm an introvert)


Here's what I do:

Before any social engagement, I think of 3 basic questions which would be appropriate to the occasion.

Example for a wedding:
"Mazal tov! What a lovely wedding! How do you know the couple?"
"How long did it take you to get here tonight?"
"What's your favourite part of a wedding?"

Keep the conversation on the other person. Most people love to talk about themselves; all you have to do is listen.

When the person answers one of your three questions, there is almost always a follow-up tidbit to question. Example: "Oh, you're the groom's really-close aunt? How sweet! What was he like as a kid?"

If the line of follow-up questions dries up, then you have Question #2 and #3 in your back pocket. I don't think I've ever needed more than 3 for a small talk situation.

When you want to bow out of the conversation, smile, touch/hold/shake their hand and say "it was an absolute honour/pleasure to meet you. Mazal Tov!"and walk away.

Congratulations, you now pass as a socialite!
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 07 2019, 1:41 pm
It’s fine as long as you’re fine with it. Dh doesn’t need you to be the life of the party.

However, you may want to practice a little small talk. Ask questions: How do you know our host/es? How long have you worked here/ what do you do exactly? Have you heard this speaker before? What a beautiful name you have—what language is it / what does it mean? Do I hear a South African accent? Where are you from originally? Did you notice the painting in the hall—isn’t it amazing? What are those little round things you’re eating? Are the franks in blankets any good or are the mini-egg rolls better? You look so familiar—did you study at Mona Lisa Culinary Institute and School of Modeling in Kankakee in the early nineties?

Of course you wouldn’t just shoot a battery of questions at anyone rapid-fire like that—it’s a conversation starter, not an interrogation. With any luck, the other person will respond with more than monosyllables and will either ask you something in turn or say something that will spark further discussion on the topic you introduced.
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