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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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Do you play with your kids on a frequent or daily basis?

yes, the infants/toddlers

38%

[ 43 ]

yes, my elementary school age kids

[ 10 ]

yes, but only my older kids

[ 0 ]

not really. I work full time and rarely play with my kids regardless of age

13%

[ 15 ]

not really. I stay at home and am so busy that I can rarely play

10%

[ 12 ]

nope. kids entertain themselves, each other

14%

[ 16 ]

only get to play on Shabbos

15%

[ 17 ]

Total Votes : 113

amother

Babypink

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 10:55 pm

Any ideas what I can play with a one year old?

amother

Vermilion

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 11:02 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Any ideas what I can play with a one year old?

Depends on what your one year old is up to in terms of fine and gross motor skills and speech. But playing can be reading board books! Stacking blocks and pushing them over is fun, turning on music and "dancing", classic songs like the wheels on the bus, kids that young also love simple simple hide and seek (where you hide behind a wall). Playing doesn't have to mean board games or magnatiles...

Also, sitting on the floor next to them and encouraging the cause and effect of their baby toys is healthy! For example they press something and something pops up - you make a a woah sound and put on a surprised face. Basically just play with them in whatever they are playing with!

amother

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 11:15 pm

behappy2 wrote:

There was no option for playing with toddlers and school age kids. It's either or in the poll.

Not sure how to make the poll so that multiple choices can be chosen. Is it possible?

Kiwi13

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 11:36 pm

I play with my kids as much as I can. Some days that ends up being more or less than others, but I try hard to spend time with them everyday. B"H they also love playing with each other, so that's been great. They're very close in age so they're becoming best friends as my little ones get older. I'll admit that I'm relieved when they can entertain each other for a while sometimes, though. My older one likes to read with me and do those picture-search puzzles, and my younger ones like to play more with toys, especially my daughter. She demands a lot of attention, which is sometimes hard to provide because if she had her way it would be all about her all day every day and that's just not practical. I spend extra time with her at bedtime, especially since she's in her own room (my boys share a room). That's when she gets the most one-on-one attention. My older son (4 years old) is WAAAAY better behaved on days when he gets enough attention and Mommy time. I try, but it is hard sometimes. My husband is much better with the silly playtime. I'm better with reading to them and calmer games and play.

sky

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 11:48 pm

wife2 wrote:

This thread makes me so sad. No matter how tired or busy, try to play one game for 10-15 min. Turn on music and dance for 10 min. Read a book together

I work full time and it is exhausting. I'd love to collapse on the couch. But kids need at least some time to play with their mother. It shouldn't be a rat race of homework, bath, and bedtime without fun time with their parent. They need love and a sense of belonging.

It doesn't have to be 3 hours a night, but push yourself to do even one short game or activity, start with 5-10 minutes.

Your kids will be happier and less whiny and better behaved if you're more fun and present.

I think I’m extremely present and comfortable with my kids. In general my home is happening, fun and personal. But I’m not really a game player. We cuddle on couch. Do some family puzzles. Shmooze over hot cocoa. Pop some popcorn. discuss school. Do a round of peek a boo.

I work at home with my baby all day and my toddler almost the whole day. We interact constantly. But it’s not what I’d call playing. (I also have older kids)

I don’t think it’s as bad as it sounds. Trust me there is no rat race. I’m not doing anything (seriously - I don’t go out at night, Not too busy with supper prep, my home is a mess, there is zero technology or media) except just spending time in their company. And it’s not just homework. But just because I’m not a game player doesn’t make me an absentee parent. Everyone parents differently.

Last edited by sky on Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:03 am; edited 1 time in total

Teomima

Mon, Nov 11 2019, 11:56 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

I play with my infant daily. I shmooze with all the other kids daily. I play with them on weekends, and occasionally during the week. Not because they need me to, because it's mutually enjoyable.

This exactly.

giselle

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:11 am

I don’t “play” as often as I could, but I spend a lot of time with them (elementary age).

amother

Peach

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:39 am

sky wrote:

Thank you for saying this.

My children are not close in age and there are very few games that they will all play.

As a child, I remember my mother reading to me, playing records (back in the day) and taking me to the park. I try to do the same. I also try to listen to them as much as I can. I don't think I get the "bad parent" award because I don't like playing Candyland 421 times.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:42 am

There's no option for "I Play with all my kids".
My kids range from 2-18. I play with my 2 yr old every single day. Obviously my older kids don't want to play every day (except for video games!) but we all play family games on Shabbat.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:23 am

Quality time is every bit as valuable as play. Reading a book with a dramatic or funny voice for different characters counts as play, IMHO.

Letting kids "help" in the kitchen counts as play. So does letting them use the broom to sweep the floor, or teaching them how to fold a washcloth while you fold the rest of the laundry.

I have really sweet memories of folding laundry with my mom, and she would be sure that I got all of the washcloths and hand towels. It was fun, and made me feel like a big girl.

behappy2

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 9:19 am

sky wrote:

A lot of you don't seem to have the correct definition of play. Play is anything that bonds the two of you, and makes you laugh or smile. Tickling, dancing, giving them rides, playing hide and seek, playing tag.just last night me and my 9 year old and 3 year old played hide and seek together. Read to them, get involved and interested in their life. Board games are not the beginning and end of play. I second the book Playful Parenting. It changed my parenting completely.

amother

Plum

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 8:41 pm

I was curious to see this post since im really struggling with this lately.
I have a very active toddler who needs an endless amount of stimulation and is not satisfied just playing with anything herself, me or dh need to play with her.
I'm not a fun or energetic type but my toddler is and I feel so bad that I cant be there for her the way she needs me, especially since I got pregnant when she turned 1 and now bh have a newborn.
for all those who responded they play with there toddlers, which seems to be popular, what do you play? I try turning on music to dance for example but after a minute I'm the one who gets super bored and itching to stop...

Jewishmom8

Wed, Nov 13 2019, 1:18 am

I am not so great with playing
But I do read my younger kids books every day.
I hope that counts for something!

amother

Violet

Wed, Nov 13 2019, 1:25 am

We actually all play together , my husband aswell. In the evening before going to sleep.
Family time is important to us. My husband doesn't learn in the evenings and I prefer that tbh.

amother

Violet

Wed, Nov 13 2019, 1:27 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

I agree with you that it's a personality type. One of my sisters never plays with her kids she doesn't enjoy it. I absolutely LOVE IT.

Maybe you could do crafts? Or some outdoor activity?

behappy2

Wed, Nov 13 2019, 8:52 am

I hope this poll is not accurate because according to this poll more than half of mothers do not play with their kids at all during the week if ever... Sad

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