Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Vacation and Traveling
Visiting community for Shabbos, but rabbi's son's BM. Bad?



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 10:54 am
Hi, we're thinking about moving to a particular community/shul and it would be convenient to visit for Shabbat this weekend. However, we found out that the head rabbi's son is being Bar Mitzvah'd this Shabbat. We're afraid that this would be a really bad time to visit the shul/community and that it would in no way give us an accurate representation of that the shul is actually like. Do you tend to agree?
Back to top

amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 10:55 am
I don't see what the issue is. What's the big deal about a Bar Mitzva?
Back to top

SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:02 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hi, we're thinking about moving to a particular community/shul and it would be convenient to visit for Shabbat this weekend. However, we found out that the head rabbi's son is being Bar Mitzvah'd this Shabbat. We're afraid that this would be a really bad time to visit the shul/community and that it would in no way give us an accurate representation of that the shul is actually like. Do you tend to agree?


Yes. You're not going to get a real idea of the community at the rabbi's son's bar mitzvah. Go another week.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:11 am
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
I don't see what the issue is. What's the big deal about a Bar Mitzva?


For one, it's an OOT community with a congregation of varying degrees of frum'ness (from black-hatters to even a few people who drive on shabbos). Rabbi is a FFB black-hatter. I'd imagine the shul is going to be filled with the rabbi's black-hatter relatives and friends who are in town for the BM, and we won't get any sense of what the actual community is like. We won't be able to see what the vibe is like among the regular congregants at the kiddush, etc. The rabbi will be busy and won't be able to spend any time with us. That kind of thing...
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:16 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
For one, it's an OOT community with a congregation of varying degrees of frum'ness (from black-hatters to even a few people who drive on shabbos). Rabbi is a FFB black-hatter. I'd imagine the shul is going to be filled with the rabbi's black-hatter relatives and friends who are in town for the BM, and we won't get any sense of what the actual community is like. We won't be able to see what the vibe is like among the regular congregants at the kiddush, etc. The rabbi will be busy and won't be able to spend any time with us. That kind of thing...

I think you just answered your own question.
Back to top

lavenderchimes




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 11:29 am
If it's feasiable, I would go now and again later. More visits is better, anyway. If more than one visit isn't possible, don't go this weekend.
Back to top

challahchallah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:29 pm
When we visit communities, we always try to avoid bar mitzvah’s if possible because, as you said, the vibe changes and you don’t know who’s a regular. Also, since people tend to assume unfamiliar faces are there for the simcha, you often don’t have as many people introduce themselves. I’d expect the rabbi’s son’s bar mitzvah would amplify these issues. On the other hand, if you do have the ability to go multiple times, it can be good to see what a really festive week at a particular shul looks like.
Back to top

amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 3:00 pm
Do you have a place to stay and did you already make the arrangements? The bar mitzvah would be a way to see the shul full and then you can come another time and see the shul the way it may be on a regular shabbos. Also, they may have some members that go away for the winter to a warmer climate. If it is the shul I am thinking of (midwest with vouchers for school if you live in a few cities), the Rabbi and Family are wonderful welcoming people. The Rebbitzin is very involved in the shul. The shul is not mostly black hatters. There are other shuls around the neighborhood within walking distance.
Back to top

gibberish




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 3:25 pm
challahchallah wrote:
When we visit communities, we always try to avoid bar mitzvah’s if possible because, as you said, the vibe changes and you don’t know who’s a regular. Also, since people tend to assume unfamiliar faces are there for the simcha, you often don’t have as many people introduce themselves. I’d expect the rabbi’s son’s bar mitzvah would amplify these issues. On the other hand, if you do have the ability to go multiple times, it can be good to see what a really festive week at a particular shul looks like.


Agreed. Try to reschedule. The dynamics may be very different with lots of guests. You'll probably also have less opportunity to interact with and get to know the Rabbi.
Back to top

thanks




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 12 2019, 3:44 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
For one, it's an OOT community with a congregation of varying degrees of frum'ness (from black-hatters to even a few people who drive on shabbos). Rabbi is a FFB black-hatter. I'd imagine the shul is going to be filled with the rabbi's black-hatter relatives and friends who are in town for the BM, and we won't get any sense of what the actual community is like. We won't be able to see what the vibe is like among the regular congregants at the kiddush, etc. The rabbi will be busy and won't be able to spend any time with us. That kind of thing...


You answered your own question. Go a different week if you can.
Back to top

essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 13 2019, 1:54 am
The vibe in our shul changes drastically when there is a bar mitzvah. I wouldn't want prospective new members to base their opinion on the shul from a bar mitzvah Shabbat.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Vacation and Traveling

Related Topics Replies Last Post
What's the latest you would go away for Shabbos if invited
by amother
15 Today at 2:08 pm View last post
Shabbos pants for elementary boys
by amother
11 Today at 7:30 am View last post
Kids shabbos shoes affordable. Let's make a list!
by amother
63 Yesterday at 10:17 pm View last post
Last minute opportunity for a Shabbos getaway
by amother
5 Yesterday at 7:14 pm View last post
Amazon shabbos top
by amother
5 Yesterday at 5:04 pm View last post