If your parents/in laws paid down payment on house...

Sebastian

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 9:44 pm

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Am I the only one who noticed this line and found it quite surprising? The reason OP is feeling all this stress is because of the intense pressure and deadlines the agent is putting on her. And his justification for this is that if she doesn't commit, someone else is willing to pay more.

Do you really believe that the seller and the agent are doing you a chesed and are willing to take less from you, just because you saw it a few hours before someone else? If the other buyer truly exists and is as serious about it as claimed and is financially able to pay the higher price, they wouldn't be giving it to you. I'm not getting into how to naviate the broader family mess, just suggesting that all the stress OP is going through is highly suspect.

on a recent thread about re agents a few posters said their agent flat out lied to themt

lfab

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 9:53 pm

watergirl wrote:

I don’t understand why you would have called in an inspector and a contractor before you entered into contract. The way that people I know buy their houses, and the way that I bought my house, was we gave $1000 for earnest deposit and we signed a contract on the house. This was once the buyer accepted our bid. At that point, the contract was ratified upon but was contingent upon the inspection. From my understanding after going through homebuyers counseling for first time homeowners (this is a requirement in my state for all first time homeowners), this is the way to go about a contract. If the home does not pass inspection, or if the owner does not want to make the repairs that the inspector recommends, you can back out of your contract and you lose your thousand dollar earnest money.

Bringing in a contractor and an inspector before putting down a small deposit for earnest money and signing the contract seems quite backwards. Signing would lock you in as the only potential buyer and you would not have to risk losing the house to other bids until you end the contract. All thats at risk is the earnest money.

You seem to be putting the cart before the horse in your house hunt. Maybe you should take some pre-purchase counseling as well?.

I think it depends where you live. When we bought our house we looked at the house and made an offer. Once our offer was accepted we did an inspection. After we got the results we discussed, through our real estate lawyer, repairs that we wanted done and renegotiated a bit on the price based on what owner was and was not willing to fix. Only after that did we actually sign the contract at which time we had to give 50% of the down payment.
However, I know my in laws (who live in a different state) said that they did it the way you described when they bought a house a few years ago and only did the inspection after signing a contract.
(Sorry OP I know this was totally off topic from your post but just wanted to explain why it can be stressful until contact is actually signed).

watergirl

Wed, Nov 13 2019, 11:07 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thanks all for your responses. I have lots to say, however due to the extreme nastiness of the last post, I will cease to comment on this thread.

OP, just in case you are still reading, I want to tell you that this whole process is generally full of stress, heartache, frustration, anxiety, etc for everyone. You are in good company! It takes time to find the right house. Some people look for years before they hit on the right one. Daven, do your hishtadlus, and IYH the right one will come at the right time. When we bought our house, I remember someone important to me telling me she hopes this is really the perfect dream house for us because we will have it for many years. I replied, its not perfect and its not my dream house. But its perfect for us FOR NOW. And as for my dream house - its not that either. But its long been my dream to own a house, so while this is not my "dream house", its the house of my dreams. Its MINE and its HOME.

I'm sorry for comments on this thread from myself and from others that did not come across with the support and empathy that I hope it was written with. I know that I wrote with kind hands, even though it may not have come across that way when read through your lens. I understand that.

In the meantime, I really do suggest you and your husband take the time to do first time home-buyers classes and counseling.We were also told how much we could afford - we had to provide all financial statements, bills, etc. Do it through an HUD certified center. Many states have grants for people who completed this. I know I had no choice, but it did get me a $1000 grant off closing costs. Thats the cost for the inspection and a sewer inspection! Also,your father will have the peace of mind that you are being very responsible and proactive and may not give you such a hard time.

Hatzlacha! Please come back and update us with good news!