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Bringing children into non-ideal situations
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 2:58 pm
The emotional abuse I witnessed many times was that of married women trying to get their husband to be forced to pay attention to them by claiming their child had severe learning disabilities in an attempt to force them to attend IEP meetings, work with a psychologist while getting their child evaluated, and get involved in the whole process while their child clearly didn't have any disabilities. It disrupted their child's school experience and caused them great anxiety.
This is not mbp, and this is also not something a single mom would do because who would she be trying to rope into attending endless student support team meetings etc?
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:11 pm
amother [ Brown ] wrote:
That doesn't have anything to do with MBP or emotional incest, though.
You can have lots of family support and still emotionally abuse your child by treating him/her as a confidante/ replacement spouse.
Certainly MBP is possible as a single mother.


Most likely the child will play a bigger role in a single mother's life than it would if she was happily married. If the care of the child was shared among other family members, it might lessen the intensity of the relationship between the mother and the child.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:22 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
The emotional abuse I witnessed many times was that of married women trying to get their husband to be forced to pay attention to them by claiming their child had severe learning disabilities in an attempt to force them to attend IEP meetings, work with a psychologist while getting their child evaluated, and get involved in the whole process while their child clearly didn't have any disabilities. It disrupted their child's school experience and caused them great anxiety.
This is not mbp, and this is also not something a single mom would do because who would she be trying to rope into attending endless student support team meetings etc?

Let's just say it depends on the mother.
She could be trying to get her own mother to pay more attention to her. She could be trying to guilt her siblings into helping more. Who knows. Abusive personalities aren't really predictable, they do what they want when they want. And also are not limited by their marital status.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:22 pm
southernbubby wrote:
Most likely the child will play a bigger role in a single mother's life than it would if she was happily married. If the care of the child was shared among other family members, it might lessen the intensity of the relationship between the mother and the child.

True, but that might be a risk factor, not a protective factor.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:23 pm
Nope never ever experienced a single mother (whether divorced, adoptive or what have you) do this. Never.
And the married women weren't abusive really. Just emotionally messed up and trying desperately to get their husband's attention. Unfortunately the fallout ended up on their kid.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:48 pm
amother [ Apricot ] wrote:
Nope never ever experienced a single mother (whether divorced, adoptive or what have you) do this. Never.
And the married women weren't abusive really. Just emotionally messed up and trying desperately to get their husband's attention. Unfortunately the fallout ended up on their kid.

So....I have. Several of them, in fact.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Sun, Nov 17 2019, 4:21 pm
Curious what type of single mothers?
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