S/o gymnastics- male lifeguards for teen girls

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2019, 9:12 am

When I was in seminary, the girls were allowed to use the local community pool. They had only male lifeguards & it made me extremely uncomfortable.
Tbh I was surprised it was an extremely right wing school & it just felt so innapropriate to have males watching teen girls in swimsuits.
Thoughts?

amother

Beige

Mon, Nov 18 2019, 9:19 am

Technically, they are doing their job like a male doctor is. But, at my local pool the lifeguard is usually a highschool-college aged boy. So I was not comfortable with them seeing my daughters, or me, especially if he was the son of one of my friends. We always just went when there were female lifeguards only on staff. Now, since discovering the tznius bathing suits, I am comfortable swimming in female swim hours with a male lifeguard. I dont think the tznius bathing suits are all that tznius when wet, but that is a level of comfort I can handle.

It has never come up as an adult for me but I remember that the lifeguards at the separate beach in Israel when I was a girl were male. There were so many people there so I think the masses of other people somehow made it more tznius. In my local pool during female swim hours there are only a few people there which makes it much more awkward.

I am surprised that a right wing seminary would allow a male lifeguard. Of course, schools sometimes do things that are in violation of their own tznius policy when it is more convenient for them. (For example, in my skirt-wearing only high school they give me pants to wear in the school play which included men in the audience. Granted it was back in the 80's but I didn't wear pants and they knew it. The rabbi of the school said it was okay. I have no idea why I didn't argue about it, but I think I was just happy to have been chosen for the play. )

amother

Lilac

Mon, Nov 18 2019, 9:24 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Technically, they are doing their job like a male doctor is.

Considering that 1 out of every 300 doctors molests their patients, I'm not sure how reassuring that is.
(source: http://doctors.ajc.com/sex_abuse_numbers/)

Chayalle

Mon, Nov 18 2019, 11:39 am

A male lifeguard is doing his job, and unless he needs to rescue someone, there isn't any other necessary one-on-one interaction between him and the girls he is watching swim.

A male gymnastic instructor is in a totally different category. I don't want another male putting his arm on my daughter's waist to spot her doing a back handspring, etc....

amother

Lilac

Mon, Nov 18 2019, 11:40 am

Nah, not saying not to go to the doctor or not to have a lifeguard.

But don't say that because they are a doctor/lifeguard/photographer then they get 100% trust. If you can get a female doctor/lifeguard/photographer, that is preferred if you are female. Opposite if you are a male.

And follow the laws of Yichud and trust your gut, obviously. But saying that because they are doctors they are trustworthy is why doctors get away with it.

amother

Mon, Nov 18 2019, 7:48 pm

There was a lot of hypocrisy there re tznius as well.
I only seem to recall 1 lifeguard (though it was a massive pool so how was that safe?) And he was college age .

There were no tznius swimsuits back then, no swim tshirts. Just a bunch of teen girls in a pool .
I know it's their job to watch the swimmers & spot any danger but I just felt creeped out.

WhatFor

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 4:50 am

I get the need for lifeguards and I wouldn't think it violates halacha, but I don't get why they cannot hire women for the job. When I was growing up we had some fantastic female lifeguards in my day camp. I even remember one of their last names, that's how on fire she was about safety and procedure. Woe betide the girl who walked too quickly next to the swimming pool.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 6:02 am

Ruchel wrote:

Hypocrisy or maybe you don't get halacha. It's a torah of life. The fact you feel creeped out doesn't make anything assur

Thank you! Feelings do not equal facts.

Lifeguards are not there to do anything besides enforce safe behavior and save people from drowning.

I would be more concerned about male swim coaches.