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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
Disturbed by this incident in school-WWYD?
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:23 pm
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Whyd the nurse have to check her why couldn't she jusrt call mother and ask for drs note. I think most responses r insesitive to mom. There was no reason ro check a childs private areas. First consult mom. Maybe the child was itching cuz she didn't wipe herself properly

OP said she doesn’t believe the nurse, who said she didn’t check.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:24 pm
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
nurse said she didn't check.


If the nurse didn't do a complete check, what is the hysteria about? That the edge of the girl's skirt got lifted a little bit?

OP, I think you are way overthinking this. Your DD is fine, nothing traumatic happened. Calm down.

Maybe you could use some therapy, and find out why this is so triggering for you.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:34 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
If the nurse didn't do a complete check, what is the hysteria about? That the edge of the girl's skirt got lifted a little bit?

OP, I think you are way overthinking this. Your DD is fine, nothing traumatic happened. Calm down.

Maybe you could use some therapy, and find out why this is so triggering for you.


I get OP.

Its a new world when kids are in school. This is a new type of interaction.

The reality is - our schools request medical information about our children from day 1. Privacy comes into it with regard to what the school does with that information - but assured if they are asking for it - somebody is reviewing it (and its not the teacher).
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:36 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
If the nurse didn't do a complete check, what is the hysteria about? That the edge of the girl's skirt got lifted a little bit?

OP, I think you are way overthinking this. Your DD is fine, nothing traumatic happened. Calm down.

Maybe you could use some therapy, and find out why this is so triggering for you.

It’s not a trigger.
I bh do not have a history of abuse or molestation.
I believe it was inappropriate, and I’ve told the nurse so.
Thanks for your concern!
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amother
Olive


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:38 pm
amother [ Jetblack ] wrote:
Whyd the nurse have to check her why couldn't she jusrt call mother and ask for drs note. I think most responses r insesitive to mom. There was no reason ro check a childs private areas. First consult mom. Maybe the child was itching cuz she didn't wipe herself properly


A doctor or nurse is required by law to have the parent in the room during a physical exam of a private area. This is what a PA told me yesterday when she checked my daughters privates during a physical exam. She said she can only check while a parent is in the room by law
So, I’m assuming the nurse should’ve had you there during the private area check
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:38 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
The nurse claimed she did not check it, and that the program’s policy is if a child has a rash, a doctor’s note must be written stating that the condition is not contagious.

I am disturbed at this incident, as I believe her clothes must
have been lifted in order for the warts and rash to have been seen.

The nurse was unapologetic and still insisting on a doctor’s letter.
Should I escalate the complaint, or am I making too big of a deal out of this?
TIA

Wait so did the nurse say that she didn't do a visual examination at all, didn't move your dd's clothing, and just knew it was a rash based on what your dd said/did?

Or is she saying that she moved your dd's skirt to see the rash but didn't touch it, and she stands by that decision?
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It’s not a trigger.
I bh do not have a history of abuse or molestation.
I believe it was inappropriate, and I’ve told the nurse so.
Thanks for your concern!


You told the nurse it was inappropriate that she examined your daughter - after she told you she didn't examine your daughter?
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:43 pm
Your daughter was scratching, the nurse asked for a drs letter. Despite the nurse assuring you she conducted no physical examination, you told her off.

Something is off.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
It’s not a diaper wearing child.

I may take your advice and speak to the nurse’s supervisor.
Thanks


When you say private area do you mean her upper thighs or they had to remove her underwear to see it?
It’s not clear.
I think the 2 are very different.
I would not be happy for a nurse to remove underwear to check a child in school.
But upper thigh on preschool child I don’t think is so private.
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Cheiny




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:45 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My daughter is enrolled in a head start program.

Her teacher reported to me that she noticed my daughter scratching her upper legs/butt and sent her to the school nurse.
She then proceeded to relay that the school nurse is now requesting a doctor’s letter stating that her rash is not contagious.

My daughter has eczema which is what is causing her to itch.
Coincidentally, she currently has molluscum as well.
This was diagnosed a while ago, and the dermatologist told me to treat it naturally as my daughter did not cooperate with the scraping.

I conveyed to the nurse that I was disturbed that the teacher and/or nurse must have lifted her clothes and scrutinized her private area to see this rash.
It is mostly on her private area and right under her buttocks.

The nurse claimed she did not check it, and that the program’s policy is if a child has a rash, a doctor’s note must be written stating that the condition is not contagious.

I am disturbed at this incident, as I believe her clothes must
have been lifted in order for the warts and rash to have been seen.

The nurse was unapologetic and still insisting on a doctor’s letter.
Should I escalate the complaint, or am I making too big of a deal out of this?
TIA


I’m not sure why you’re focusing on whether the nurse lifted her skirt to check her or not; your issue is your child’s condition. Would you also get upset with the Dr. who wants to check the rash?
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Cheiny




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Insisting on a doctor’s letter that molluscum and eczema is not contagious is a dramatic reaction.
And it took quite a bit of time to place the calls, leave messages, and receive the letter.


I don’t agree, I think you’d feel differently if it was your child’s classmate constantly itching... and would you be as offended if your child was scratching her head constantly and the nurse checked her head for lice?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:48 pm
amother [ Orchid ] wrote:
When you say private area do you mean her upper thighs or they had to remove her underwear to see it?
It’s not clear.
I think the 2 are very different.
I would not be happy for a nurse to remove underwear to check a child in school.
But upper thigh on preschool child I don’t think is so private.

Sorry.
I meant upper thighs, not upper legs.
Most is on her private area-some is visible on her upper thigh.
I don’t believe the nurse didn’t examine her.
If she requested a note about a rash, she must have observed the rash.
If she had only heard about the scratching from the teacher, she would have asked me to have it checked out by a doctor.
There was a clear reference to a rash.
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momof2+?




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:51 pm
Mollescum Contagiosum is contagious through direct touch. It is definitely contagious, but I don't know of any doctor who will tell a child that they can't go to school until it is gone, as it is not dangerous and can take a yr and a half to resolve on its own.

How old is this child? My 5 yr old children might need help wiping in the bathroom sometimes. I understand that the law says a nurse needs a guardian in the room, but I think you are overly anxious about this. Was your child uncomfortable before you made a big deal about it?
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:51 pm
OP, even if the nurse did check her, she did her job! She's a NURSE for God's sake, this is what she's supposed to be doing.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:52 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sorry.
I meant upper thighs, not upper legs.
Most is on her private area-some is visible on her upper thigh.
I don’t believe the nurse didn’t examine her.
If she requested a note about a rash, she must have observed the rash.
If she had only heard about the scratching from the teacher, she would have asked me to have it checked out by a doctor.
There was a clear reference to a rash.


Do you think the nurse spoke to your daughter?
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meme6




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Where did I say I’m looking to change a policy?
If policy states that if a nurse notices a child with a rash...a doctor’s note is required...I can understand that.
Here the rash was NOT visible.
I don’t think it’s appropriate to lift a child’s clothing or scan a child’s covered body parts to locate a rash.


But if your child is young and constantly itching and uncomfortable the teacher did right let her check it out it’s not the teachers job. And a lot exzema rashes can look like other stuff so as a policy they need a note. But a kid itching her private part and being uncomfortable is NOT normal so yes nurse was right to check it.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 1:53 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
A doctor or nurse is required by law to have the parent in the room during a physical exam of a private area. This is what a PA told me yesterday when she checked my daughters privates during a physical exam. She said she can only check while a parent is in the room by law
So, I’m assuming the nurse should’ve had you there during the private area check


AFAIK, based on OP's comments, the nurse didn't check any area that would have been covered by the child's underwear. She may have checked an area that would be covered by a skirt or tights.

OP, in the future you should be proactive by telling the teacher that your child has eczema that has been itchy, and that your doctor is treating.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 2:04 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Sorry.
I meant upper thighs, not upper legs.
Most is on her private area-some is visible on her upper thigh.
I don’t believe the nurse didn’t examine her.
If she requested a note about a rash, she must have observed the rash.

If she had only heard about the scratching from the teacher, she would have asked me to have it checked out by a doctor.
There was a clear reference to a rash.

Or she talked to your daughter and/or your daughter's teacher, and concluded that it must be a rash.

Or she asked your daughter what was wrong, and your daughter lifted her skirt to show her of her own accord.

I'm not sure what you can reasonably do about this, since this isn't a "the nurse did something wrong" issue or even a "the nurse did something OK under school policy, but I'm upset about it" issue. It's a you-not-trusting-the-nurse issue. You can try to complain, but it's your word vs hers and honestly, it doesn't sound like you have any concrete reason not to believe her (ie, your dd isn't saying there was an examination, either).

I guess you could go to the teacher, or whoever runs the daycare, and tell them that you want to be contacted if the nurse is going to do any physical examination of your child. Hopefully that will at least make sure there are no issues in the future.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 2:13 pm
I think u all need to question your complete faith in established medical protocols and lack of privacy and humanity in the name of "public health". Right now there is another thread about superbugs , the biggest threat to public health , created and perpetuated by the same people who u think should have absolute authority over your and your childrens bodies.
I'm not saying not to discuss anything with your doctor. Just stop giving away all your power and stifling you parental instincts.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Mon, Nov 18 2019, 2:23 pm
Sorry, Op. This situation sounds like it was handled 100% correctly by the nurse and the teacher. It may feel uncomfortable to you but they did the right thing for your daughter and for her class. If your daughter has eczema that is bothering her so much in school maybe moisturize her in the morning and have the nurse help her moisturize midday as well. She must be uncomfortable.
And mollescum is definitely contagious and needs to be covered for the rest of the kids in the class. Hatzlacha healing your daughter’s eczema.
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