Help a mom of a preteen! Thanks

amother

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 9:25 pm

My daughter just turned 9 and is just barely starting to develop on top. I am clueless as to what she should wear. An undershirt still? Or something with more support? She hates undershirts as she says she is uncomfortable and currently is just wearing a uniform shirt. I grew up in a family of boys and my mom didn’t know how to raise a girl so I don’t want to repeat her mistakes. Also when do girls start wearing deodorant and which type do they buy? Thanks in advance for all advice!

Flip Flops

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 9:29 pm

They sell starter bras - I think they have a name but I don't know what. Some come attached to an undershirt and some come alone, but doesn't have the shape and support of a bra. Perfect for this stage.
I wish I had more info to help you! Maybe call a hosiery store to see if they have such a thing.

amother

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 9:30 pm

Flip Flops wrote:

Thanks!!

mommy24

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 9:35 pm

There are undershirts/camisoles with a shelf bra in it. My oldest daughter loved those. A little later I also got her sports bras, or ones that go over the head, it was made of super soft material from the GAP, she loved those as well.

amother

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 9:37 pm

mommy24 wrote:

Thanks so much! Do you have a link for the undershirts/ camisoles? When did you start them? My daughter had a tiny breast bud ... is that the time to start? Thanks!

mommy24

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 10:03 pm

The camisoles I got were from old Navy. Just make sure they say bra shelf in description, I believe it comes with size medium and up.

Personally I buy them when they start developing, probably as your daughter is now. I wanted her to wear something because I feel shirts don't sit right on the girls otherwise when they start developing. At first she didn't love it, it felt extra and bulky for her. But I kept them for when she felt comfortable wearing them, a few months later. And like I said she loved them. Till HS she would still rather wear the camisoles than a regular bra.

amother

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 10:04 pm

mommy24 wrote:

Thanks!!

amother

Mauve

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 10:14 pm

If you live near a Jewish bra store they all sell something like this that’s perfect for this stage. Either a tank or just a little over the head undershirt. Hanes sells also but I found the ones from the Jewish stores were better (more comfy and lasted longer)

ra_mom

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 10:59 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is she sensory? Dd also didn't wear undershirts but once she developed she had to wear something so we found butter soft camis that are great for this stage.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d.....psc=1

amother

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 11:12 pm

Thanks mauve and Ra mom. The camis that you linked to at what age/ grade is it socially appropriate to wear them? Also do you have any ideas as to when most girls start deodorant and what type? Thanks!

small bean

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 11:19 pm

My girls started deodorant in 5th grade because that's when the girls start talking about it. My older daughter went through a few but she ended up likes Tom's rob on. My younger daughter started with a dove spray and still likes it. I think get whatever you like and them let her decide.

My girls have still not started developing at all so no bra advice. I ask my first daughter all the time, she's just about 13 if she wants a bra to be like everyone else, but she says no. They do sometimes wear undershirts or shells but not always.

ra_mom

Tue, Nov 19 2019, 11:29 pm

Dd wore deodorant at age 9 (on and off, getting used to it).
At that age she used this natural roll on.
https://www.amazon.com/Kids-Na.....r=8-4
It's marked boys, but she wore it for years. We found the "boys" citrus sport scent was better than any other.

About the camis, she started wearing them at age 10/11 I think. Age doesn't matter. It's size. Other girls in her class started before her.
If you prefer an undershirt with cami coverage inside:
https://www.amazon.com/Blooms-.....views

amother

Babypink

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 8:55 am

my 9 year old wears toms of maine roll on with spray for shabbos. Get a smell she likes. They recently came out with something that's more "fresh" as opposed to like lavender etc...

She prefers sportsbras, then bralettes and last camisoles. She has a "big" built and the training bras/camisoles were to tight on her. we cut the camisoles to loosen them which was better but not her preferance. She likes the straps on a sportsbra better then the real bra type straps. The sports bra and bralettes were both adult sizes. The sportsbra I think we got at target and I think we got the bralettes from costco online.

Good luck!

FranticFrummie

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 8:57 am

Is your daughter horribly embarrassed, or is she taking this in a matter of fact kind of way?

If she's casual about it, you can get her fitted properly. I find that if the band around the ribs is too tight it can be miserable. Go celebrate with ice cream afterwards and tell her she's becoming a young woman. (Same advice for first menstruation.) Do NOT do this if she is already super self conscious.

My DD sweats and smells like crazy, even though in the summer she takes 3 showers a day, and in the colder months she takes 2. She really likes men's 24 hour sport antiperspirant. The 24 hour thing is a lie, though. It's barely strong enough to keep her from soaking through her shirts by the end of the school day. As soon as she gets home she strips and jumps into the shower. There is no such thing as wearing the same shirt two days in a row, so there's always tons of laundry to do. I hope for her sake her hormones settle down soon!

amother

Linen

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 2:27 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

would she want to try prescription anti persperant, I think you need a prescription, but it make you not sweat. my son used it for a while whne dederant just wasnt enough for him.

Chayalle

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 2:34 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Just take a little sniff in her underarm area and you will know if she needs deodorant.

When starting out, I liked to get my girls something more natural, as their skin can be sensitive. Tom's of Maine had a great roll-on that was very mild.

Gap has great starter bras for young ladies that are supportive enough and comfortable. Plus they come in fun colors.

https://www.gap.com/browse/pro.....ntent

or

https://www.gap.com/browse/pro.....ntent

Our local frum store (Tafi) has some very comfortable options that are similar to these and well-priced, too.