Did not receive invitation to good friend's sons wedding yet

amother

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:18 pm

I was invited to the engagement party and went
usually in the past I have received invitations 8 weeks in advance and save the date cards
what would you do ?

ShishKabob

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:23 pm

Please don't do this to yourself. The invitation got lost or they didn't mail it yet. Please YES go to the wedding and join your friends simcha!

chaya35

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:26 pm

Don't know where you live but where I live invitations come 2-4 weeks before wedding. Also, mail is not reliable and I have had a few time that the invitations arrived late or never arrived. I know because either siblings or neighbors received them,

miami85

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:28 pm

If you KNOW you are invited, you can call your friend and tell her that you are coming. I was told by friends that I was invited to bar mitzvahs but didn't receive the invitations and lo and behold the day I called them, the invitation came that day or next day.

Its been a while since my own wedding, but I remember doing my invitations in kind of "waves" like there were certain numbers we were looking for so it could be that since your friend KNOWs you will be coming, she already has you in her count, but needs to know about others' before inviting another group of people, so those invitations went out first, or could be there was a mistake on the invitations and it got delayed, or just some people might still be catching up from yom tov. I myself have had a cold on and off since yom tov.

Last edited by miami85 on Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

cornflower

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

the wedding is only four weeks away
I was invited to the engagement party and went
usually in the past I have received invitations 8 weeks in advance and save the date cards
what would you do ?

Email her telling her than invitation might have gotten lost, so you're confirming you're attending. She'll be touched.

chaya35

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I live six blocks away

doesn't matter how close you live mail is not reliable. I did not receive my close neighbors invitations when the whole block did.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:36 pm

I made two weddings recently. The post office is awful. I got back an invitation from a March wedding last week. Tons of invites never got there.

If it is a good friend I am sure that you are invited and either the invitation hasn't gone out yet (eight weeks is a bit far in advance, even in fancy WASP circles 6 weeks is the norm, and the more heimish circles 2-3), or it got lost.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 1:56 pm

It's very likely it got lost in the mail. These things happen. You can reach out and mention it. Could also be when she has to get back to the caterer with a head count, she'll call you asking for your RSVP, at which point you will know for certain that it was a lost-in-the-mail situation.

littleprincess

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 2:09 pm

My very close friend who lives 2 blocks away from me married off a few years ago . We never received our invitation . We are very close so I told her the invitation hasn't arrived and she was very disappointed to hear cos she wonders how many others didnt arrive and how many people got insulted . She told me she wrote us such a nice personal note

naturalmom5

Wed, Nov 20 2019, 2:17 pm

Every single time I stood on ceremony , the friend / relative was very offended I didnt come or call

Call your friend 2 weeks before simcha and tell her you didn't receive inv.
Either she will thank you profusely, or
Shes isn't tyour friend really

amother

Blonde

Sat, Nov 23 2019, 6:03 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

There are Jewish fancy White Anglo-Saxon Protestant circles? Good to know! Very Happy

amother

Honeydew

Sat, Nov 23 2019, 8:01 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

There are Jewish fancy White Anglo-Saxon Protestant circles? Good to know! Very Happy

Did it say Jewish Waspy circles?

amother

Orchid

Sat, Nov 23 2019, 8:24 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

There are Jewish fancy White Anglo-Saxon Protestant circles? Good to know! Very Happy

You do realize some of us have nonjewish family members, right?

Optione

Sat, Nov 23 2019, 8:24 pm

I once didn't get an invitation to a good friend's wedding. She never reached out to find out if I got the invite, was coming, etc. It turns out that she never brought it up because she didn't want me to feel uncomfortable since another good friend of mine (different circles) was getting married the same day in a different state. (She sent the invitation, I just never saw it. )

agreer

Sat, Nov 23 2019, 11:50 pm

So ask her when's the wedding, which day of the week or what time does the chuppah start/which hall?

She'll hopefully ask you if you received the invitation, and then you can say no, did you send them out yet?

And then you'll know that she did indeed send it out and it got lost.