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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Is it standard to give Bar Mitzvah gift



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:00 pm
A first cousin is making bar mitzvah- we’re not especially close to them but are friendly and go to each other’s Simcha etc.

Is it standard practice to give a bar mitzvah gift these days for this type of relationship? If yes, any specific gift ideas or price range?

Live in Lakewood if that makes a difference..

Thanks!
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amother
Blush


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:05 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
A first cousin is making bar mitzvah- we’re not especially close to them but are friendly and go to each other’s Simcha etc.

Is it standard practice to give a bar mitzvah gift these days for this type of relationship? If yes, any specific gift ideas or price range?

Live in Lakewood if that makes a difference..

Thanks!


Of course a gift is in order. Why would you think otherwise?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:10 pm
amother [ Blush ] wrote:
Of course a gift is in order. Why would you think otherwise?

Have not had this type of Simcha in a while so wasn’t sure what common practice is these days. With people having Simchos every other day just wasn’t sure if gifts are standard or expected anymore.

Any specific gift ideas?
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:34 pm
If you go to the simcha, you bring a gift. If you can't make it to the simcha but you have a relationship then it would be nice to send a gift. If you can't make it and you don't have a relationship then you can skip the gift.
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doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:50 pm
Yes, most definitely give a gift. As far as price range, it depends on your budget, and also on how many people from your family are invited and actually attend. If you show up with DH and 7 kids, it's appropriate to give a nicer gift than if just you and/or DH go. You can't go wrong with seforim, especially for a Lakewood Bar Mitzvah.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:58 pm
Menorah
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 5:59 pm
Havdalah set
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asmileaday




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:09 pm
I recently made BM and no not every attendee gave a gift and neither did we expect one. Only really close friends and family gave gifts.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:12 pm
Thanks all for replies- seems consensus is that a gift is expected or at least proper. We’re working on a budget so don’t really want to spend too much, guess seforim would be the easiest and most economical option.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:13 pm
amother [ Coffee ] wrote:
Menorah

As in a silver menorah? For a cousin’s bar mitzvah??
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:35 pm
If you go for the meal, give a gift. It can be something small if necessary, like cufflinks or a cross pen.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:41 pm
Cuff links or a cross pen are necessary?

Oh, wait, I get it... Tongue Out

What about a gift certificate to a seforim store, or a check? Doesn't have to be a lot, and it seems you're a little concerned about the precedent.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:43 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
As in a silver menorah? For a cousin’s bar mitzvah??


As in brass, or glass, or something else.
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:45 pm
amother [ Yellow ] wrote:
If you go for the meal, give a gift. It can be something small if necessary like cufflinks or a cross pen.


Today I am a fountain pen? LOL
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asmileaday




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 26 2019, 7:36 pm
Listen, I don't feel like you HAVE to give a gift and this is coming off of my recent experience.
But I could tell you that the most appreciated gifts according to my son was cash, a watch (cheap but nice- 20 bucks on Amazon yes I was curious so I checked) a wallet and a pen.
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