Have you, or know anyone who has switched high schools?

calaflower

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 6:42 am

My daughter is miserable in her current high school (not the typical teenage "I hate my school" situation). To make a long story short, hoping to get people's experience/advice/suggestions who've been there done that. I know each situation is different, but hoping to gain some insight we may not have thought of.
Putting all the details aside, she's absolutely miserable where she is right now, in all aspects of high school. Socially, academically spiritually. She feels that values of her teachers are being stuffed down her throat and I'm afraid it's starting to turn her the other way Chas V'Shalom. This might be a Chinch issue in addition to the fact that I don't want her high school years to be a miserable experience.
Thoughts?
TIA!

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 6:47 am

I know people who switched high schools and were much happier. I also know people who switched high schools and were just as miserable.

I was horribly miserable in high school. My mother asked me if I wanted to switch schools. However, I had nowhere I wanted to switch to.

From my experience, it seems that the social aspect of high school is what makes or breaks the experience. Those who have friends do fine, even if they hate the school, the classes, and the teachers. Those who don't have friends will be very unhappy even if they love the classes and teachers.

Does your daughter have a place she'd be interested in switching to? Is there any reason to think that a different place would suit her better?

shmosmom

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 6:51 am

I did, and I thank Hashem and my parents every day for it.
My life would not look the way it does if not for my parents taking this step.
On the other hand my sister also really wanted to but my parents did not allow her to.
Some things to consider:
Does she have a place she wants to go?
Will the new school accept + accommodate her?
Is she shy/ does she know anyone in the new school?
Which grade is she?
Is the school bashing her, or what she feels like is her authentic self?
Does the school have a 'chanoch bar al pi darko approach', is she just in that school because that's where her siblings went, or did she choose that HS?
Please pm me if you'd like.

rdmom

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 6:53 am

I did it. My daughter did it.
For both of us, it was the best decision we ever did. If she hates it that much, it isn’t fair to keep her there.
Poor kid. I remember when I changed. And I loved it. It was an adjustment but it was amazing. So when my daughter was agonizing over it, I knew exactly how it felt and was able to guide her. And it was the best decision for her too. Regardless of what others think of it.

amother

Brown

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 7:36 am

I switched in 11th grade. It was the best thing for me. I will admit, it was a super-hard adjustment so you need to make sure she has the confidence and support to break into a new social system.

amother

Beige

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 8:04 am

I went to a out of town school -bais yaackov of baltimore
I stayed at three different familys over 3 months I didnt like being away from home
and continued my 9th grade back home in a tiny school and went their till 11 th grade and graduated early and went to college

lucky14

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 8:05 am

I switched before the start of the 11th grade school year. So happy I did and I really am so appreciative that my parents let me and understood that it's what I needed. Socially, academically, and for other reasons I needed a different School. I did know two of girls in the school I switched to so that helped a bit-helped me meet people a bit quicker . But even if I hadn't known anyone else I probably would have been better off.

amother

Wheat

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 9:17 am

Switched for 10th to a bigger school because I felt suffocated in the small school I was in. So happy I did. Glad my parents allowed me to.

amother

Red

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 9:19 am

I dod.

I switched from my in-town school to board out of town.
It changed my life. I became confident, made friends and lifelong teachers, experienced so much warmth and acceptance. I loved high school after the switch.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 9:43 am

I switched in middle of 9th grade, right after midterms. It was the best decision ever. I didn't have any friends in my class in my first school (they were all in the other class) and I became socially isolated very quickly.

I switched into the same class as my friends in the second school and became a different person overnight! It was a fresh start and I bounced back to my old self pretty quickly.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 9:51 am

I was in an extremely close minded strict school bordering on widespread emotional abuse. I left in the middle of 9th grade and was home the rest of the year. 10-12 was in a warm, caring, empowering place that saved my life and healed my religious trauma from 9th.

amother

Pearl

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 10:43 am

3 dds changed schools. For 2, it was great. For the 3rd, it was still better than where she had been, but not as good as her sisters. (She went to a different school than they did)