Parenting is just too hard

amother

Sun, Dec 01 2019, 8:58 pm

One yashiva son home with no yashiva , that means no schedule. My house is a turnover, im soo stressed out. My 10 year old started acting out since me and dh were demanding something from him and he doesnt wanna agree to that.
Me and dh no privacy since kids always around , when I get to discuss with my husband certain house, family things in a different room from where the kids are, my kids somehow always manage to listen. 10 year old always mixes in while I discuss with my dh how the day went or if I had a hard day or if I feel stressed out. I know that it should rather be discussed some place else and not where the kids have access to listen . I JUST DONT HAVE ANY PRIVACY WHATSOEVER!!!
Today I was in a different room with my dh and my 10 year old (he is mostly the one that just manages to sense or makes sure to listen to me and dh having our private conversations) he was listening how me and my dh decided its time for my 15 year old friend to leave . My 15 year old brought home a friend they spending the entire afternoon in my house and im not feeling well wanna make early night and I didnt feel this friend belonged here for soooo long , my 10 year old got embarrassed already that we wanna let my son know that time for this friend to leave, like just an exampl. But whatever me and dh discuss my 10 year old gets triggered. Like I was talking to my dh about something about my ds yashiva, were in middle of working on something, my 10 year old mixes in .. . That means no privacy whatsoever!!!
It really hurts I feel so so burnt out. I dont know anymore where my power is in the house. Im just lost whats normal parenting and whats not. How to show off to the kids they should respect me . Help!