Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Explanation help needed



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Nov 30 2019, 7:21 pm
How should we explain to children aged 4-9 that a couple they are very close to have gotten divorced? They love both parties.
Back to top

behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 30 2019, 7:48 pm
They weren't happy together and they are happier now.
Back to top

honeymoon




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Nov 30 2019, 7:54 pm
"They are each wonderful people. But being together didn't work out for them."

Validate their feelings and leave the line of communication open so that they feel comfortable coming to you with anything that's bothering them.
Back to top

behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 01 2019, 12:12 pm
honeymoon wrote:
"They are each wonderful people. But being together didn't work out for them."

Validate their feelings and leave the line of communication open so that they feel comfortable coming to you with anything that's bothering them.


Isn't this more appropriate for teens or kids above age 10? Kids this age don't even understand marriage...
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Dec 01 2019, 12:47 pm
behappy2 wrote:
Isn't this more appropriate for teens or kids above age 10? Kids this age don't even understand marriage...


I was wondering that too...
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 01 2019, 1:00 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
How should we explain to children aged 4-9 that a couple they are very close to have gotten divorced? They love both parties.

In a calm easy going tone with some sadness shown on your face, say Chani & Chaim got divorced. That means that they're not married anymore.

Then sit with them and answer their questions as matter of factly as possible.

Yes, that means they aren't living together anymore.
They still love their children very much but they have a hard time living with each other.
No, you don't have to worry about this happening to us. Mommy & Daddy love each other very much.
You're right, it is scary to think about. Come, let me hug you.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Dec 01 2019, 2:46 pm
ra_mom wrote:
In a calm easy going tone with some sadness shown on your face, say Chani & Chaim got divorced. That means that they're not married anymore.

Then sit with them and answer their questions as matter of factly as possible.

Yes, that means they aren't living together anymore.
They still love their children very much but they have a hard time living with each other.
No, you don't have to worry about this happening to us. Mommy & Daddy love each other very much.
You're right, it is scary to think about. Come, let me hug you.


Thank you so much for that- so clear. Much appreciated.
Back to top

seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Dec 01 2019, 4:21 pm
ra_mom wrote:
In a calm easy going tone with some sadness shown on your face, say Chani & Chaim got divorced. That means that they're not married anymore.

Then sit with them and answer their questions as matter of factly as possible.

Yes, that means they aren't living together anymore.
They still love their children very much but they have a hard time living with each other.
No, you don't have to worry about this happening to us. Mommy & Daddy love each other very much.
You're right, it is scary to think about. Come, let me hug you.

This. I wouldn't go into things like "not happy together," that's already too complicated for little kids. I wouldn't even say the part about "had a hard time living with each other." If they ask why, just give a blanket statement like "it was an adult decision" or "sometimes people are not able to be married." Not everything kids ask needs an answer.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2019, 4:01 am
exactly. Please don't poopoo it as "oh they were better apart", it's not an image to give
Back to top

blessedflower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2019, 5:29 am
I had to tell that to my 4yo. I told her "Y is going to come visit (he was going to come in the near future) but he is going to come alone this time, without X. Because X is not his kalla anymore". I then proceeded to answer honestly all the questions she had. Obviously I said it in a very childish way because my dd was only four at the time. But believe me she understood very well. I could tell by the questions she asked. Oh and she offered to be his kalla so he shouldn't be sad LOL
Back to top

amother
Indigo


 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2019, 6:23 am
If your kids don't yet relate to the notion of marriage, you can tell them that the two people don't live in the same house anymore.
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Dec 02 2019, 8:16 am
Blessed flower—AAAAAWWWWW what a sweet child! I foresee a life full of empathy.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Social worker for ten year old - Recs needed
by amother
5 Mon, Mar 11 2024, 10:38 am View last post
Urgent Oral Surgeon needed
by amother
20 Fri, Mar 08 2024, 9:38 am View last post
Costume creativity needed!
by amother
19 Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:27 am View last post
Serving marror for a crowd, ideas needed
by amother
13 Wed, Feb 28 2024, 3:54 pm View last post
Wifi (heat/ac) thermostat no hub needed- recommendations?
by amother
0 Sun, Feb 25 2024, 1:32 pm View last post