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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 12:26 pm
Will going to a half year seminary affect a girl's shidduch?
Yes, I know Shidduchim is in Hashem's hands.
Yes, I know the "right" boy will not care.
Yes, I know many people understand the (multiple) reasons for going to a half year seminary.
but realistically, what do you think? will this be something that will have to be "explained" over and over and over, or cause some sort of "strike" on a shidduch resume?
fyi, we are a bit out of town, Bais Yaakov type, daughter will most likely continue after undergrad to business or law school.
I would love honest, raw answers - but not insulting
Thank you
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amother
Chocolate
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 12:30 pm
Of course not!
My sisters went to Lahav and no one ever said anything about them going for only half a year. They loved sem, and it wasn’t as expensive as full year. Very smart move on their part, as I couldn’t wait for my full sem year to end. It was much too long.
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amother
Yellow
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 12:32 pm
Nobody blinks, as far as I know.
No seminary is a missing line on the paper, but half year is barely even noticed, and if it is it's an "Oh". It's not even a question by 99.999% of people, forget about an issue.
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amother
Coral
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 12:34 pm
I don't think it'll make a difference. It's known that many girls go to Lahav because they want the seminary experience but they also need to get started on college. There are lots of good girls there.
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seeker
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 12:49 pm
I can't imagine why it would even think about making a difference but I guess I'm naive like that.
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Fabulous
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 12:51 pm
Yeah, it’s totally fine. In fact, lahav has become the it sem for many top girls, with long waiting lists
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Ruchel
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 2:41 pm
only a missing line if you miss a line
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Iymnok
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 3:31 pm
Honestly, seminary is only seven months of classes once you take out the vacations.
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amother
Royalblue
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Mon, Dec 02 2019, 3:37 pm
I am posting anonymously for obvious reasons. No, where your daughter attends seminary will not affect her shidduchim because the right boy for her will not care. That being said, there will be OTHER boys (and/or their mothers) who will. This is a fact. But it will not make one bit of difference in your daughter's quest for marriage. People say no for many many different reasons. This one is no different.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 8:41 pm
OP here, thank you so so much for all your responses, you've definitely eased my mind in one of the many many things going through it right now 😉
You ladies are amazing
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amother
Teal
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 10:20 pm
OP I didn't go to seminary at all, anywhere. Didnt feel I needed it. If I had issues with shidduchim I wasnt aware of it. Was one of the first in my class to get engaged (to a learning boy, actually, who valued my responsible and happy nature more than a year of sem) BH.
Sure its possible there were those who said no to me at the time. But who cares, if they obviously weren't my bashert anyway? If anything it made dating easier, as I didnt have to date 50 boys over 5.5 years like my friend did.
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amother
Copper
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Wed, Dec 04 2019, 10:26 pm
Ditto on all the wise women above. I'd like to add something, though, if you don't mind. My daughter is also an OOT Bais Yaakov girl that went to a very well known seminary. She wanted to go back for a half a year. I really didn't want her to, but we allowed it. When she came back, she was really out of synch with her friends and with college schedules. I would encourage you and your daughter to think about your community and what she will do when she comes back in the middle of the year. Find a job? Start college? Something else? Will she have friends when she comes back? If someone had told me this, I would have thought they were making a mountain out of a mole hill... Hatzlacha, and peace to you in your decision making!
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summer0808
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Thu, Dec 05 2019, 3:43 pm
if your daughter is planning an MBA or law then I dont think what type of seminary matters.
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