Nachlas thread disappeared?

amother

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 8:17 pm

Why can't I find the Nachlas BY thread?

My daughter had the cd they handed out last night at PTA, blasting all afternoon. She had a friend over, and the two 5 yr olds were singing and doing motions to the theme song. ADORABLE!!!

amother

Cyan

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 8:45 pm

I’m shocked. Especially because the thread with loshon hara about the school and administration stayed.

It’s making a statement

Write lashon hara about ppl - thread stays!
Write positive things about a school - thread is gone!

And I’m not a parent.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 8:55 pm

Amelia Bedelia wrote:

Apparently it was a trigger to parents who can't find a school for their children.

And badmouthing a school parents on here send to is fine?

Maybe we shouldn’t talk about kids.
Or marriages
Or money
Or big houses
Or jewelry
Or cars

This is ridiculous.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 10:48 pm

There is a difference between discussing something for a purpose, or posting something just to brag. It was an all caps in your face title and post in response to another thread already discussing a the stress of finding a school in Lakewood.

I understand it was a defense but it was presented in a very obnoxious and immature way. I don't actually know why it was removed but I am not sorry to see it go.

When there are three threads Yom tov time by people saying they can't afford food, it would be in poor taste for someone else to start a thread with an all caps title saying "I JUST FOUND THE BEST MEAT EVER FOR MY MENUS"

There's just basic sechel.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 10:54 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

It wasn’t I can’t afford meat.
It was meat is disgusting.
Big difference.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 10:57 pm

The other part that kind of got to me was the original thread was complaining about the schools interview process and the defense thread was about how amazing the staff and school is basically rubbing salt into the wounds of those "not good enough" to pass muster at the interview. Like we get it your part of the lucky few who have kids having an amaaazing time in this school just say it in all caps for the parents who can't secure a slot?

I was baffled by that.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 11:01 pm

amother [ Cyan ] wrote:

It wasn’t I can’t afford meat.
It was meat is disgusting.
Big difference.

It was they found interview questions to be in poor taste and personally embarrassing. It was not a direct personal attack that posters here are trying to make it out to be. And saying what a wonderful time your kids are having in the school as a defense to that seems incongruous at best, and plain mean and insensitive at worst. I have no horse in this race I just have been following this all and I can't believe anyone thought that defense thread was appropriate. It was a fighting a wrong with another wrong.

amother

Cyan

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 11:04 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

The school was asking questions regarding their policies. I was asked the same questions in all the schools I applied to. White shirts, black hat, phone, internet, screen time. They aren’t outrageous questions. It’s standard Lakewood. I didn’t give the answers they wanted to hear when interviewed either. What was innapropriate about the questions asked?

Saying the director lacks social skills is outrageous and wrong. Detailing why is wrong. That thread was horrible in every way.

And seriously if op thinks Sesame Street is nothing in 2020 the school really isn’t for her. Nothing wrong with her. It’s jusr not a good match.

Sebastian

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 11:16 pm

amother wrote:

"The school was asking questions regarding their policies. I was asked the same questions in all the schools I applied to. White shirts, black hat, phone, internet, screen time. They aren’t outrageous questions. It’s standard Lakewood. I didn’t give the answers they wanted to hear when interviewed either.

Saying the director lacks social skills is outrageous and wrong. Detailing why is wrong. That thread was horrible in every way.

And seriously if op thinks Sesame Street is nothing in 2020 the school really isn’t for her. Nothing wrong with her. It’s jusr not a good match.

OP was bothered that most of the questions were based on externals (I.e. what color shirt vs. if he learns every day)

agreed and it was deleted

amother

Cyan

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 11:19 pm

Sebastian wrote:

OP was bothered that most of the questions were based on externals (I.e. what color shirt vs. if he learns every day)

agreed and it was deleted

Lakewood schools are very into that overall. Ppl might not like it but that is how it is. Almost all schools. I send to a less yeshivish Lakewood school and DH always changes into a white shirt when goes in. Puts in a hat for pta. Kids have no access to internet or not Jewish videos because that is school rule.

There are even popular girl school that has rules that mothers can’t cone to school in sneakers or tichel...

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Dec 04 2019, 11:31 pm

Let us not pretend that if your husband wears white shirts, and you don't let kids watch, and you dress tzanua 100 percent, you can get into Lakewood schools without twelve people calling on your behalf pushing and pulling and jumping on their heads.

Let us not pretend that these parents are only turned off from the system because they are actually not the right fit. Some will make it through fairly easily based on family connections (I don't mean money specifically) and some will grovel and stress all year and get placed somewhere they never even applied.

So let's start with that. And then let's understand that we had posters complaining about another disheartening aspect of an already disheartening process. Being asked questions that have little bearing on halacha and actual frumkeit and all on the external shtick we do so well in Lakewood.

And finally, let's now revisit how innapropriate a thread flaunting how happy one is in said school would look to those just trying to get their frum kids into a frum school and still don't have answers.

I live in Lakewood, I know this system, and I think we can all do a little better.

Why don't we start with refraining from posting all caps flaunt threads because someone else was upset with their interview.

amother

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 12:51 am

I imagine everybody realizes that the only reason the " I LOVE NACHLAS" thread was even written was in response to the previous negative post about the school. "You think the hanhala is terrible and lacking social skills? Well I know first hand that they are running an efficient, happy, warm school."

the thread wouldn't have gone up otherwise.
Nobody was bragging that they were accepted.
And just like someone having a hard time in a certain aspect of their life (sholom bayis, parnasah, fertility) wouldn't purposely read threads that would make them upset, nobody is forced to read this one.

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 12:58 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Right - but also - you came to a thread to tell everyone about how happy you were with a CD that a named school gave to your daughter. Why is that post worthy?

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 3:01 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The caps lock was obnoxious. It's very "in your face" especially at a very sensitive time for people who you now know for a fact are struggling with schools from the other thread. You can't say oh I read a thread about infertility and people were saying babies are hard so I started a I LOVE BABIES thread but your welcome not to read it. I mean you could do that, but again, it's obnoxious.

Just going to be very honest about how it came off to me (maybe to others also?):

"You said there's something off about the hanhala of my daughters school so let me prove to you that we have an immature parent body as well."

I know first-hand wonderful things about the school but the I LOVE IT was not an impressive display.

Blessed4

Thu, Dec 05 2019, 7:27 am

For those who don’t live in Lakewood ... this is typical Lakewood scenario. I was also given hell before my daughter got into a school. They made up rumors about us etc. it was horrible. But now that we’re there Bh we’re really happy and everyone is warm and wonderful. So the defense thread made sense to me. For all you know ,the defensive poster also had a hard time getting in and they asked her same pathetic questions. But when you know the system you wing it, especially if you really want to get in there. Yes, it’s a sorry situation.