Hanachas tefillin | Imamother

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Forum -> Judaism

Hanachas tefillin

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amother

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 10:12 pm

What is the typical ashkenazi custom for this for a bar mitzvah boy?

gold21

Mon, Dec 09 2019, 10:34 pm

One month before bar mitzvah (Hebrew date)

The bar mitzvah boy goes to shacharis with his father (grandfathers often come too).... And puts on tefillin for the first time

Donuts for all!

(Yekkes, like my family, put on three months before bar mitzvah)

amother

Tue, Dec 10 2019, 9:17 pm

Thanks gold21.

Any other comments? Other traditions?

Asking because we don't have one.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 8:36 am

I've also heard only putting on the tefillin for the first time on the day of the bar mitzvah itself.

Cmon be nice

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 8:50 am

Most (not all) do 30 days before. In terms of who comes with, that varies. Sometimes grandfathers, sometimes mother's will watch from ezras nashim. Some go to a Rebba or rosh yeshiva the 1st. Maybe ask your son what he wants

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Jan 10 2021, 8:01 pm

Bump - oldest DS will be putting on tefillin soon. I have the donuts under control, but would appreciate suggestions of other customs or ideas to make it more meaningful and memorable.

simcha2

Sun, Jan 10 2021, 8:14 pm

There are differences of opinion on whether the boy says the bracha or not during the month before his bar mitzvah.

So if Dh doesn't have an minhag (we didn't, dh is BT) you may want to ask a shailah.

BetsyTacy

Sun, Jan 10 2021, 8:42 pm

If you can arrange for the hanachas tefillin to take place at a minyan with an ezras nashim, I would encourage you to go. It was extremely meaningful. To be honest, as a person who dreads crowds, being there was more meaningful for me than the bar mitzvah, where I was the hostess. At the hanachas tefillin there was no stress, no pressure (for me or the the bar mitzvah!), just nachas and joy.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Jan 10 2021, 9:01 pm

My son put on tefillin when we still had outdoor minyanin. My son davened with my husband. We invited grandfathers, uncles and cousins. Whoever was able to join, but without pressure. We brought to the minyan danish platters, juice and a little lechaim. It was really nice that my son was able to daven and practice putting on tefillin with my husband. We bought donuts for the boys in his class.

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Jan 10 2021, 9:05 pm

Our custom (chabad) is 2 months (60 days) before. Earlier if the birthday is during pesach or sukkos (when our custom is to not put on tefillin) to allow the boy a full 2 months of practice. Starting without a bracha, and after a few weeks (this was not presented to me as being exact---more when he's used to it enough) with a bracha.

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