What does it cost to support your young married couple?

amother

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 8:58 am

I was wondering what it costs American parents today to support their young married couple in Israel?
Its a growing trend and its extremely common and I am wondering what this trend will be costing me. If you can break up the expenses and location where your child is living that would be great.

watergirl

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:03 am

.... it will only cost you if you agree to support while they are in Israel. Not everyone follows this “trend”.

amother

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:05 am

watergirl wrote:

.... it will only cost you if you agree to support while they are in Israel. Not everyone follows this “trend”.

I know many of my friends that their daughters can’t get a date because they don’t want to follow this trend

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:08 am

I give $1000 per month to assist them with rent as they are in kollel. they still work hard to pull it off. Rent in the tri state area is high.

watergirl

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:08 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I know many of my friends that their daughters can’t get a date because they don’t want to follow this trend

They can get a date. But not with the guys who demand this kind of support. Apparently that is all they are looking for. The pool is wider than that.

Ruchel

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I know many of my friends that their daughters can’t get a date because they don’t want to follow this trend

dodged bullets - these guys deserve someone lie to them

amother

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:22 am

Ruchel wrote:

dodged bullets - these guys deserve someone lie to them

Why should you lie and promise something you have no intention of doing? You son in law will probably never talk to you again.

Ruchel

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:22 am

And that would probably be a relief if he's in for the money, though I would never wish it on any wife

DrMom

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:23 am

Do I qualify as "young?"

Would anyone want to support my husband and me?

How can I get in on this "trend?"

amother

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:26 am

Ruchel wrote:

And that would probably be a relief if he's in for the money, though I would never wish it on any wife

Well in some circles it became the norm for a guy to learn for at least a year after they get married. How are they supposed to live if the girl just got back from seminary and just turned 19?

amother

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:27 am

amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:

I give $1000 per month to assist them with rent as they are in kollel. they still work hard to pull it off. Rent in the tri state area is high.

Where do they live? Is somebody working to pay the difference?

Ruchel

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:28 am

He gets a night job
She gets a poor job
They shnor
He goes to a place that pays
BOTH SIDES help
Or you know, they do it in some unfun, uncool cheap place

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:29 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Well in some circles it became the norm for a guy to learn for at least a year after they get married. How are they supposed to live if the girl just got back from seminary and just turned 19?

There are jobs out there that one does not need any kind of higher education. And I have heard of many jobs in the charedi anglo community, specifically kollel families, where the wives find jobs that are from american companies, outsourcing to israel, and they train the girls for the job.

As for something becoming the norm, it wont change until people, on mass, start bucking the system. Otherwise, this trend will just keep on going and going and going.

banana123

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:29 am

DrMom wrote:

Do I qualify as "young?"

Would anyone want to support my husband and me?

How can I get in on this "trend?"

Good idea, actually. Anyone want to support us? Looking for someone to pay my husband 8K NIS, plus pension, social benefits, BTL, etc. so that he can learn all day and write his books.
We can call it Yissachar-Zevulun, if you like. We don't go for the schar, but people keep telling him he should learn in kollel because "we need you to be learning, we're not going to have any good rabbanim in 20 years and we need you" but we can't afford for him to go back to kollel right now.
So if anyone knows how we can get in on this trend, that'd be really cool.

Ruchel

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:30 am

If a boy or a girl passes you because of money, and will go marry someone else who has the money, DO NOT DATE THEM EVEN IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY

amother

Babypink

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:32 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Well in some circles it became the norm for a guy to learn for at least a year after they get married. How are they supposed to live if the girl just got back from seminary and just turned 19?

Then they are too young/unprepared to get married.

watergirl

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:41 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Why should you lie and promise something you have no intention of doing? You son in law will probably never talk to you again.

I think she meant to say "someone like them" and the k was missing. I dont think she said to lie.